Woman with dissociative identity disorder, 93 personalities finds love

sex and relationships

by Mary K. Jacob

September 4, 2023 | 8:02 PM

A New Zealand woman found love and happiness while living with 93 different personalities.

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is a condition in which an individual possesses multiple “alternates” with their own ages, genders, and life experiences.

For 31-year-old Amber Lodge, these changes range from little kids who like to draw to adults who enjoy dining out.

Some are frank and straightforward, while others are shy and reserved.

Lodge was diagnosed with DID five years ago. By that point, she was already experiencing relationship complications, with her partner struggling to come to terms with her rapidly changing identity, leading to her short-lived romance.

“Before we were diagnosed with DID, it was hard and confusing for the people we were dating because we didn’t understand why we changed so much, why we were different people each time.” Lodge told Caters News.calling themselves “we” to describe their respective personalities.

But Lodge’s story took a surprising turn when she met 26-year-old Andrea online.

Their connection was instant and their love developed into marriage.

“We gave up dating for a while until we were lucky enough to meet Andrea because she was already following us online and understood DID,” Lodge explained. “We didn’t have to talk to her about it. She just figured it out, so it was easy.”

Not only does Andrea embrace the lodge’s alter ego, she cherishes the opportunity to connect with each unique personality.

She said it’s exciting to date different individuals and learn about their different tastes and interests.

Lodge weirdos can spawn 5-8 times per day, resulting in unpredictable personality changes.

Any night, Andrea could fall asleep next to the altar and wake up in a completely different persona the next day.

“When a child experiences extreme trauma in childhood, those parts become disintegrated and acquire their own self, creating a wall of amnesia between those parts,” says Lodge.

“That’s Alter. Then it continues into adulthood, where age, gender, life experiences, and personality can change.”

To help navigate this complex movement, Andrea maintains a folder detailing the settings for each change.

She can usually identify which Alters are present by her voice or communication style, but if in doubt, she simply asks.

“It’s even harder to remember who likes which flowers, birthdays, and different date ideas you can plan,” said Andrea.

“Or maybe the person wasn’t out when something happened, so they don’t know what I’m talking about.”

The lodge has its own signals that act as cues to sense the space before changes occur and to anticipate the emergence of new personalities.

Before she was diagnosed with DID, she reflected on challenges when her identity change embarrassed her partner and strained her relationship.

She recalled being reluctant to disclose her condition due to fear of being judged and a lack of understanding.

“Relationships in general are difficult, even with friends,” she revealed. “We try to be as reliable as possible, but if another alter comes out after we make a plan and they don’t want to read it or associate with that person, they can just doesn’t show up.”

Lodge’s adult alter-ego is romantically involved with Andrea, but the less-frequently-appearing alter-ego maintains a friendship with her, so things aren’t too complicated.

At first, Andrea was worried about how to deal with the lodge alter-ego including children, but soon realized that it was clear when there was a younger alter-ego. I noticed.

She stresses that it’s similar to spending time with a child, given the child-like behavior exhibited by younger alter-egos.

“For example, when I go out with my 4- or 5-year-old alter ego, Chloe, it feels like I’m really with a 4- or 5-year-old, apart from the looks,” Andrea said.

“But she usually makes herself look like a girl, so it’s not as hard as people think.”

Andrea said it was an easy and natural conversation to propose to Lodge, and even planned a custom proposal for her alter ego, complete with white roses and balloons.

Andrea said she and Lodge are planning to propose at some renovations, even though she and Lodge are already married.

On the other hand, Lodge hopes that sharing her story will help people understand DID better.

“I hope people understand a little more about DID, and then they will find that it’s not as complicated as they think,” she said.