Woman says Dry January changed her life

Kara St John, 30, an NHS occupational therapist, lives in London with her boyfriend Michael. She realized her own drinking was becoming a problem when she passed out and got into an argument on her night out. That inspired her to quit alcohol for Dry January 2023. And it's been a year and her mental health is better than ever.

I've always loved social drinking and would often drink with friends at bars, pubs, and bottomless brunches. On big nights, I drank six double vodkas and colas a night, often forgetting the number. It was considered completely normal behavior, and since I wasn't drinking excessively every day, no one thought I had a problem because I wasn't considered an “alcoholic.” .

However, over time, I realized that drinking was severely impacting my mental health. You go out with friends and the next day is completely wasted. Sometimes I felt sick with a hangover, but even worse, I was constantly anxious, always worried that I had done something wrong or said something that would offend me. Ta. I couldn't concentrate on anything for a few days, my thoughts were spinning and I felt terrible.

I couldn't remember anything about that night, so I was constantly asking my friends and boyfriend if I had said anything offensive. And they usually say, “Oh, you're just being a little too friendly,” but I couldn't help but do that. I don't remember him being overly friendly. I thought, if I can't remember that, what else can I remember?

One reason for my anxiety is that something bad happened in 2018, but I had no memory of it. I had gone to a local pub to watch rugby with my then-boyfriend and his housemate. I had a problem with one of his housemates, who wasn't a very nice person. He drank too much and woke up the next day with blood on his pillow. When I looked in the mirror, I saw dried blood all over my ear.

excessive drinking

I had no recollection of what happened and had to say that I fell down the stairs and the impact split my ear open. It was also learned that she had a conflict with her boyfriend's housemate who told her to “fuck off”.

story continues

Sometimes there are things you shouldn't say, and if you do say them, you should say them constructively when you're calm. As a result of that night, things between us were quite tense and my boyfriend was getting irritated. It was also scary that he had no memory of hurting himself.

And in the summer of 2022, I enjoyed a bottomless brunch. I love bottomless brunches and often go there with a group of friends and drink all day long, but this time I was the only co-worker there and it was relatively quiet. That said, although I drank a lot of Prosecco, I didn't feel drunk.

We finished our brunch and decided to have one more drink before heading home. When I got up to go to the bar, I suddenly felt dizzy. I ended up sitting in an empty booth, fell to the side, hit my head, and passed out.

I think I only passed out for a few seconds, but when I woke up I felt like I had been out for ages, surrounded by concerned staff. I called NHS 111, but in the end I was fine and went home. But that moment was extremely important to me. Passing out was scary and terrifying, and in a sense it was the last straw for me, but I thought I couldn't get drunk anymore, so from that point on I started to refrain from drinking alcohol.

Try Dry January

Alcohol is so ingrained in our culture that even if you know it's causing you problems, it's natural to try to drink a little less rather than quit. I kept track of how many units I drank and planned which days I would drink them. But often someone would say, “Oh, have another drink,” and I found it mentally exhausting to refrain from drinking.

As December rolled around, I started to think it might be easier to not drink at all, and trying Dry January seemed like the answer. If someone asked me if I wanted a drink, the answer would be a simple “no.” Also, many of my friends were dryjans. So I didn't have to explain to people why I didn't drink.

I immediately felt a huge sense of relief. Maybe it's because I've been moderating for a while, but Dry January felt relatively easy. Then my boyfriend started doing it too. He saw me so happy and full of energy and he was training for an ultramarathon so that worked out for him.

new social life

My social life began to revolve around food. I'm vegan so my boyfriend and friends and I had fun trying out different vegan restaurants in London. We went for a lot of walks and I started going to the cinema. By not drinking anymore, I suddenly had more money, but I didn't realize how much I was spending on alcohol.

Since I was the main instigator, I worked fewer nights at the pub, but I went out to eat with a small group of colleagues, and I got to know them better as a result.

When Dryjan finished, I set another goal for myself. That is, don't drink alcohol until you rent it out. It went back and forth, but I decided not to drink until July. Goals appealed to my competitive nature, but by July I realized I no longer needed to set goals to avoid temptation. I haven't had a drink since then.

Friends have been very helpful. Some people were surprised, but others were relieved, and they often drank mocktails. Taking a step back, we've all turned 30 and realized that many of us are drinking less and not drinking is becoming less taboo.

Although it was difficult at times in social situations, I realized that I needed to find calm confidence to live my life. So I swallowed my fear and over the past year have danced sober at weddings and even done karaoke sober.

In fact, not drinking alcohol has brought me closer to my friends. This has allowed me to have deeper conversations and free up more space because I don't have to cancel plans because I'm hungover. I usually drink coke or non-alcoholic beer, but many places have good non-alcoholic beer.

accomplish more every day

I thought alcohol was a good way to socialize, but in reality, it made me lose my self-confidence. I believe that if you experience anxiety on a regular basis, it will affect you for the rest of your life. Going out on Saturday meant I was still feeling the effects on my mental health come Monday, which resulted in me feeling less confident at work and unsure of who I was.

I don't have a hangover anymore, so I have a lot of free time now. I wake up early every day and am currently working on my master's degree alongside work, which is giving me new opportunities and confidence. I think I used to tell myself I didn't have time. Being sober has helped me become more ambitious and focused on my goals.

I have also started exercising, going to Zumba classes and yoga classes. I used to be someone who avoided exercise, but now I have much more energy.

healthier mindset

Lately, I've been feeling anxious like most people. There are good days and bad days, and I don't expect to feel happy all the time. But when I was drinking, it was difficult to distinguish between genuine anxiety and an irrational “hangover.” Now, even when I feel anxious, I know there is something behind it, I can think about why I feel the way I am, and I can better understand my emotions. Ta.

Over the past year, I've realized that the demographics of drinkers often go unnoticed. All you hear are horror stories of people becoming completely dependent on alcohol and hitting rock bottom. That wasn't the case for me, but at best my drinking was affecting my mental health and it was a problem.

I read several memoirs about heavy drinking, but none of them resonated with me. It wasn't until I read Millie Gooch's book, The Sober Girl Society Handbook, that I found someone I could relate to. She was having a night she couldn't remember and it was affecting her mental health. That's what clicked for me.

Not everyone quits drinking forever because of Dry January, and I would never support that. My boyfriend still drinks a little, but much less. Thanks to Dry January, he took a step back and his relationship with alcohol is now much healthier. I would say to anyone that Dry January is worth a try. It doesn't necessarily mean giving up alcohol completely, just seeing how you feel without drinking for a month.

Eternity is a long time, but my resolve to not drink alcohol grows stronger every day. The benefits are many, but once I realized that alcohol was making me anxious and affecting my mental health, it was never worth drinking alcohol again.

For more information, see alcoholchange.org.uk