II have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. But after I became a mother, I felt the burden of those issues more. At first, I was overwhelmed, unable to sleep, and constantly exhausted by the toll my mental health was taking on me, combined with the constant demands of being a new mother. It took me years to figure out what I really needed during difficult times. A lot of the time it was asking for help.
Twelve years later, I am now a single mother of two. I had to readjust the way I took care of myself. She’s only 50% of the time I work as a full-time parent, but that time is non-negotiable. No one to help you, run you to the gym, or buy groceries in a pinch.
To be honest, I enjoy being a single mother. I chose to be one of them. But if I hadn’t adjusted my mental state on a regular basis, I wouldn’t have had such warm feelings about this path. I put my mental health before almost everything. I mean, I am well cared for, but so are my children. I know this is a positive example of self-care and understanding my own emotional needs. I would like to convey that as well.
Here are six things I do every day to support my mental health as a single mom.
1. I always try to exercise
Most of us know that exercise is good for our bodies. But more than physical benefits, exercise is important to me. feel great emotionally. A month he may take a day or two off work (usually because he’s PMS), but he’s sweating every day to promote feel-good chemicals like serotonin. It also gives you more energy, so you sleep better.
2. go outside
Whether it’s to walk the dog or get some vitamin D in the backyard, getting out of the house is a must. Not only does it give you fresh air, a breeze in your face and an instant reset when you step away from the screen, it’s also a good way to prioritize slowing down. It’s a reminder that you can step away from what’s stressing you out and just rest. Sometimes it’s a work break, a dog thing, or the sight of dishes in the sink. And sometimes when I’m on vacation with the kids, that’s perfectly fine.
As a single mother, my world lacks excess stimulation. Getting out of the house helps break the monotony of the day and not let it drain you.
3. go to bed early
In my previous life, I used to stay up late and get up whenever I wanted. Even early in parenting, I would stay up until midnight or later to get some “me time.” Now, I prioritize “me time” throughout the day, so I don’t have to spend late nights concentrating on watching, reading, or thinking alone.
My kids think I’m a bit silly (especially my teenage son who goes to bed on his own), but I’m always in bed by 9pm every night. I realized how important sleep is and that I need at least 7 hours of sleep to feel good.
4. I limit my alcohol intake
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good margarita, beer, or glass of wine. But where I used to drink every night, I now limit my alcohol intake to a few drinks per week. First, alcohol affects your ability to sleep at night, so even if you have just two drinks, you may not feel well rested the next day.
But we also know that drinking every night causes your body to produce more cortisol (aka the stress hormone).So that feeling of really needing a drink Every night around 5pm You don’t just want to relax after a stressful day. the desire of the night alcoholism.
I enjoy drinking occasionally these days, but I know alcoholism is bad for my mental health. Alcoholism makes my existing problems even more painful.
5. I give myself sociability
There are many times when I rarely see my friends. It happens because I am a mother who dedicates half the week to my children, working the working hours of the day and the rest to myself.
But I always find that if I don’t see my friends or talk to them on the phone after a long time, I start to feel sick. It’s a little more lonely and distant, and it’s almost hard to get out of the rut and make plans. That’s why I try to see my friends regularly. It may not be every week, but even when you don’t feel like it, schedule dinner, a drink, or a quick coffee.
It’s one of the easiest things to quickly forget, but I’ve found that just a little socializing can make you feel amazing. After connecting with my friends, I really felt a little lighter. And it’s not just short-term. Renewing your bond with your friends can make you feel better for a few days and make you want to reconnect quickly.
6. I talk openly with my children about my mental health
Many parents feel uncomfortable when talking to their children about mental health. It’s understandable enough, but for me it’s a must.
First, I don’t want people to think it’s our fault that I took time off. Especially as a single parent with no backing, you may need to take a break and get away from your kids if you feel overwhelmed or depressed. And we need to let them know that it’s not because they did something. I can say “I’m a little nervous” and my kids know what that means.
But I also want my kids to know that if they’re struggling with their own mental health, it’s okay to be open with me about it. My hope is that they will learn the language and have the courage to share what is going on in their hearts. Because the example was set for them throughout their lives.
