Talking too much about stress makes you less credible.
You’re stressed, you work hard, and you want to prove yourself, but it’s wise to refrain from exaggerating too much about how much pressure you’re under, as this could backfire.
A new study suggests that “stress bragging” — talking at length about your overwhelm, efforts, and contributions — can also damage relationships and credibility, negatively impacting those around you.
With the speed of things today, the influx of information and job demands, it’s natural to feel pressured. And with job market uncertainty and news of layoffs in the headlines, you’ll want to hustle, prove yourself, and make people see your value. But how you handle things is key to avoid inadvertently creating more stress and career problems in the process.
The problem with using stress to promote yourself
Stress is everywhere, with 84% of employees saying they feel stressed. SignaYou may want to talk about your stress with others, commiserate, and share your concerns, but if you talk too much about the demands you face — and if others sense that you’re taking pride in your stress — you’re more likely to be seen as less competent and less well-liked.
Plus, if you seem to brag about your stress levels, people around you are less likely to help you, and the atmosphere you create and the words you say will ripple through the culture, making you more likely to experience burnout yourself. All of this is University of Georgia.
Interestingly, the study did not see the same negative reactions if people simply thought their coworkers were stressed, and did not think they were bragging about it. Similarly, if people mentioned their stress in passing or to a trusted confidant, it did not damage the relationship or the credibility of the study. It only became a problem if people were perceived as self-promoting based on all the difficulties they were facing.
Bottom line: Lots of people feel stressed, so you’re not alone. Plus, if you’re honest about your stress with trusted colleagues, they’ll empathize with you. But boasting too much about everything you’re going through will have a negative impact on them. So don’t overshare your stress or use it to boost your reputation.
How to deal with stress (without oversharing)
When you’re feeling stressed, how can you remain transparent and not go overboard?
1. Focus on others
Stress often makes us self-centered, and burnout makes us feel like the world is small and inward-looking. Focusing on others is a surefire way to get out of your own head and expand your awareness.
Remember what others are going through. Most people are struggling too, with a survey of over 3,000 people finding that 62% to 51% of people report feeling completely overwhelmed by stress. American Stress.
Be mindful of others, ask questions, and offer your support. By being mindful of others and thinking about how you can support them, you contribute to your own happiness and wellbeing. In addition, being helpful, showing compassion, and telling yourself that you are not alone creates an environment in which connections and friendships can be built.
Be careful not to self-promote your stress.
2. Avoid comparisons
Comparing your work to others can unconsciously exacerbate stress, and holding onto the belief that you’re better than others can have a negative impact on your relationships.
If you are truly doing more than your share of work, you need to give your colleagues feedback, hold them accountable, ask for help with their work, or speak to your boss.
However, when your negative judgments of others are based more on perception than reality, you unintentionally increase your own frustration, annoyance, and suffering.
Focus on your work and do it to the best of your ability. Whatever your official title, know that you can influence others and be as proactive as possible.
3. Ask for help
Another pitfall in stress is believing you have to do everything yourself. Be comfortable asking for help and relying on others. Other people may not do things exactly the way you want them to, but if you can manage your expectations and get others involved in the work, you will reduce stress considerably.
Also, avoid perfectionism and focus on excellence instead. Overthinking and overworking not only increases the pressure you face, but it also alienates others because they may not want to work with you because they are worried that they will never measure up to your standards.
4. Find friends
One of the biggest things you can do to avoid stress-bragging is to find trusted friends and mentors within your work and personal circles.
One of the characteristics of stress-bragging revealed in the study was that they talked too much, and to too many people, too often, about how stressed they were.
Of course you need to get it out and you need support, but seek it behind closed doors with a small group of trusted allies.
5. Balance honesty with humility
While arrogance can thwart career success and advancement, humility has the opposite effect. When people are confident, with a strong perspective and real capabilities, and also humble, acknowledging that they don’t know everything and that others have important perspectives, they tend to build both relationships and credibility.
A study published in the journal Personality Traits found that combining honesty, trustworthiness, transparency and humility also improves job performance. Personality and individual differences.
So cultivate your confidence and embrace your strong opinions. Deliver great results, but also admit mistakes, ask for help when you need it, make space for others, and appreciate all they bring to the table.
Stress enhances resilience
The good news is that going through stressful times builds resilience: we learn how to problem-solve, cope, react, and act in the face of adversity, and in the process, we build trust and connect with others, which contributes to our own health and well-being.
