What to do when your mate sabotages your health and fitness goals

Round the Bays 2023, New Zealand’s biggest fun run, will take place on Sunday 5th March. thing Start an RTB fitness club. This is his 8-week training program designed to get you exercised and excited with a like-minded community, whether you’re tackling an event in person or virtually in Auckland. I’m here. Each week, we bring you stories that inspire and educate you through your fitness journey. Register your interest in the RTB fitness club here.

Karen Nimmo is a clinical psychologist.

Advice: “I’m on a mission to improve my fitness this year,” said the client. “But I need help, and I just can’t get it.”

She mentioned a partner who doesn’t share a healthy mindset. It was as lively as he got.

“It’s so hard to stay on track because he accidentally sabotaged my efforts,” she said.

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This is a common problem for people who want to be healthy. They often report being held back or pushed off course by their partner or family. It can be a best friend or even a flatmate. Everyone who shares the house, or more importantly the kitchen.

It usually looks like this. You decide to get healthy, fill your fridge with nutritious snacks, sign up for the gym, and splurge on new activewear. But a few days later, my partner comes home from work and says he’s dying for pizza. You’re in a cave because you love meat lovers (double cheese). And then guilt, resentment, and futility roll in. This doesn’t work.

Is it the other person’s fault? Can you do it without their support?

Living with a “feeder”

I have worked with many people who are against it when it comes to managing their weight, health and fitness. It is

But when your partner or friend deliberately tries to undermine your best health plan, it’s another level of difficulty.

A woman I worked with described her partner as a “feeder.”

“He knows how much I’m trying to lose weight, but he keeps buying delicious treats for the two of us. But I’m starting to think he doesn’t want me to look or feel better than I do.

It is possible. Some fear how changes in their partner, such as weight loss, increased energy, or increased confidence, will affect them and their relationship. It may lead to trying to control you.

But most of the time people are not malicious. Your partner wants things to stay the way they are and wants the status quo to remain. They may not want to exercise or change their diet. I don’t understand.

Of course, the best scenario is that your partner supports you, but if not, don’t give up. Give these tips a try.

separate love from health

People can love you without jumping on your fitness journey.

Make sure they accept what you need to do to feel good about themselves and don’t intentionally make it difficult. thing.

Be specific about how they can help

Your partner may have a hard time understanding what that means, so don’t just say “I need your support”. please make a suggestion. For example, can you come here for your kids on Monday/Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings to go to group training sessions? Don’t buy banana muffins for your morning tea. Can you remove the chocolates from your kitchen drawer? And thank them for supporting you. If you do it massively (and honestly), you’re much more likely to repeat.

Seek outside support

It’s hard to go alone. Not impossible, but more difficult than necessary. A trainer/mentor, friend, or group, in person or online, can be a great help in motivation and encouragement. Bonus – It may also meet some of your social needs.

introduce new habits

Any change in your health will require you to do something different. Don’t rely on willpower. It’s too stressful to work. Instead, create new habits and routines to move you toward your goals. That way, if you have a bad day or get lost, you’ll have a framework you can bounce back from.

Only one person really cares

Anyone who wants to improve their health and fitness should be commended. So don’t get too hung up on whether your partner is supporting you. Every time you celebrate a small victory, remember that she is the only person who will invest 100% in your success. do it for yourself

What is RTB fitness club?

Round the Bays is set for Sunday, March 5th, thing has launched RTB Fitness Club with coach Bevan James Eyles to help New Zealanders build long-term habits to stay fit, stay motivated and connect with a like-minded community. Whether you purchased your entry to race on the day in Auckland or are locked in to race online, you are welcome to connect and become part of this club. , you can also join the RTB Fitness Club.

For $25 you get:

• 8-week walk, walk-to-run, or run-only training program

• Weekly mentoring video with Bevan

• Weekly live Q&A with Bevan

• Strength and stretch components to help prevent injury

• Access to dedicated RTB Fitness Club Facebook Group