Nick Hussey was a young founder with a successful cyclewear brand and a young family in his early 40s who woke up every morning terrified. “I had to lock myself in the bathroom, squirt heavy metal from my phone, and slap myself around the face over and over again,” he says. “I was screaming at my own reflection, ‘Shape up!’ Do this!’ I had to force myself to become the person I needed to be that day.”
Like many other high achievers, Hussey’s successful image belied his heartache. He was overly stretched, emotionally avoidant, and immersed in his work and exercise as a means of self-medication. “When my daughter was born, business was booming,” he says. “But I have very little memory of her first year. I was completely isolated. My hands were shaking every day. I had constant brain fog. I couldn’t sleep properly. , my head was full of self-criticism. I was depressed, but I couldn’t admit it to myself.”
This is a story that is becoming more and more familiar.Earlier this month, US-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer He shared a video on Tik Tok and You Tube explaining the condition of “high-functioning depression.”An increasing number of patients are worried about this. The video quickly garnered over 8 million views from her and 5,000 comments from him, such as, “This just represents me!” “Can someone tell me how to fix it?” “High-functioning depression” is not a clinically recognized diagnosis, but it resonates with a generation of outwardly successful people struggling with mental health. It has become a common way to describe a group of symptoms called .
“There’s a myth that if you’re depressed, you can’t get out of bed in the morning,” Meltzer said when I spoke to him by phone from his clinic in Bradenton, Florida. “But since I made the switch from public to private practice, I’ve started to see so many people who have successful careers and loving families who seem to get up every day, work hard, and keep it that way. But inside they are miserable and don’t know why. This situation is made worse by their feelings of guilt. They tell themselves that they are lucky and don’t deserve to be depressed. As a result, We’re keeping everything hidden inside and making the problem even worse.”
So is high-functioning depression just another term for classic burnout? No, says Selzer. “It’s possible to be busy and be successful without getting depressed,” he explains. “High-functioning depression is usually associated with people’s expectations of happiness not being met. So we need to change our perspective to tackle this issue.” I spoke to three high-flying men. As I listened, they all realized that the trappings of success not only didn’t bring them satisfaction, but actively depressed them.
Their success leans toward a more sinister omen for the Seven Meltzers, as he explains in his Tik Tok video. I could no longer find joy in the activities I loved. Criticize yourself relentlessly. Irritation due to small irritations and setbacks. I fall into unconscious habits for hours. I feel like I don’t have enough energy. I manage my daily tasks, but my heart is empty.
