Despite having an airplane seat that converts to a bed, the overnight trip from New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport left me unable to sleep. Does it make me manic? For someone like me with bipolar disorder, travel can lead to mania and the only antidote is sleep. I do not have anything. I stopped taking it a few months ago because I gained weight.
I’ve been here for a few hours and when I knock on the door and open it, I should be taking a nap. “Get ready at 20. I’m going to the pub.” My companion glances at the room. “What are these papers?” I shrug and say I’m ready. I wore tight jeans and a black sweater.In the mirror I look and feel great. I’m gorgeous am i really awesome? Or am I manic and overconfident?
The next day, my junior high school colleague Lorenzo who put together the trip, his mother, his sister and I made the most of London. The Red He rides a double-decker bus, takes a photo in a red phone booth, and sees the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace.
I try to sleep at night but I can’t. I work instead. It seems that the mountain of paper is increasing. On the second day, on the London Underground, I heard Lorenzo talking to his mother in Italian. I think: why are they speaking italian? am i doing something wrong? is this the code?
I know that when I get severely manic, my brain can weave webs of intrigue and make connections that don’t really exist. No more. His mother must be an illegal immigrant.she has to smuggle her to america I’m scared
His mom is not a citizen, and I’m pretty sure the British police are watching us. I pass by it, but I don’t understand it. Neon colored routes are moving and merging with each other. I say, “How do you know where to go when the lines are moving all over the place?”
Lorenzo turns his head and tilts his neck. “Nothing is moving on this map. Daniel, are you okay?” he suddenly realizes.lorenzo is pretending The map doesn’t move. He is trying to tell me that her mother is not a citizen and is trying to find a way to sneak her out of this place to avoid being caught by her Interpol.. I decided to shut up and follow him, his sister, and mom.
On the flight home, we’re in what I think is the biggest story in the world, if not America. I’m here.
Lorenzo begs me to sleep. He leaned his head against the cool little windowpane and tried to sleep, but the moment he closed his eyes, he heard the clanking of the reporter’s computer. They all wrote about me and Lorenzo’s family. When I open my eyes and stretch my neck to catch his movement, the sound stops.They’re smart and smooth, these reporters.
Back in New York, my paranoia doesn’t go away, even though there are absolutely no immigration issues. In his car, Lorenzo asked if I was on drugs. “Be quiet,” I say, because the radio must be bugged. I heard the sound of a helicopter and was convinced that Lorenzo’s green Volkswagen was on every TV station, much like OJ Simpson was with his white Ford Bronco. I can imagine a reporter telling a story about smuggling illegal immigrants from Italy to the United States via England.
Lorenzo stopped in the hospital parking lot and told me to wait in the car. I’m very scared of being caught on camera, so I curl up in the smallest ball I can and wait for him under the glove compartment.
When Lorenzo came out, I told him I was scared of cameramen and reporters. He tells me the coast is clear. He feels safe enough to walk inside the emergency room. I speak with a psychiatrist. He asks me if I have been diagnosed with any mental disorder. I tell him I have bipolar disorder. He asked about my sleep and decided I needed to be hospitalized.
I’m relieved to know from experience that the hospital is safe and the press is unlikely to break into it. I don’t know how Lorenzo got this doctor to agree to admit me, but I won’t ask. He must be worried about his mother and these reporters.
In hospitals, 40 milligrams ZyprexaThat’s a lot of Zyprexa. sleepy. After four days, I realized that my mind had made up the whole story. During my stay she has been in the hospital for 2 weeks and has been discharged from the hospital on much stronger medications than the ones she stopped months ago. You will have an additional two weeks of recovery at home before you are allowed to return to teaching. I sleep late every day and 12 hours or he sleeps 14 hours each night. During the day, it feels drowsy and blurry. I can’t read and find it difficult to even follow the plot of a TV show.
When I get back to work, Lorenzo says some teachers are asking me what’s wrong. He says they think I’m on drugs. I use drugs, but I tell him it’s not illegal. I will explain my diagnosis and why I got sick.
He says, “I’m so glad you’re doing well now.”
But I’m really not fine. i feel like a zombie.
I see my doctor every 4 weeks and each time he reduces my dose of Zyprexa and stops taking it completely. Three months later, he prescribed lithium instead. This is an old standard that has existed since his 1949. I don’t feel it in Lithium, but I still have very little energy because every manic episode is followed by a depressive episode, and I’m stuck in my bed all day, every day. At some point he will have to be readmitted for depression, but the length of his stay will take him less than a week and he will be able to return to work soon.
In the 20 years since that psychotic break, I have never been off drugs again. , open the drawer of your bedside table, take out the green Monday-Sunday pill box, and swallow the sanity pills stored inside.
