From my Anash.org inbox: As a parent of young children, I am always looking for ways to improve my parenting. But modern obsession with cures and mundane methods is overrated and often destructive.
Rochelle B.
An article by R’ Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin was recently published on Anash.org about the importance of obtaining guidance in one’s life from the Torah alone.
In that spirit, I would like to draw your attention to two practical problems facing even “chassis dish” Lubavich today.
As a parent of young children, I am always looking for ways to improve my parenting. So when an acquaintance of Chasidish excitedly wrote to the group about her WhatsApp support for parents using the “nurtured mind approach” her group, I clicked on the invitation with curiosity.
Before I opened it, I was warned not to talk about anything related to religion. This was clearly not a Jewish group that adopted some techniques from methods that worked for them, but rather a secular group, and nothing related to Hashem could be mentioned. How did an acquaintance of mine become desensitized to take this course for his child’s chinu?
If she chose it because there was nothing available to her mean parents, it’s not. Thankfully there is a quality course based on Shashidish values which I found more relevant and practical.
This is not to say that there are no alternatives that work. But if we educate our children in worldly ways, we are selling ourselves and our children. We develop good people, but we don’t reach their Neshama. You can train a horse to run, but you can’t teach it to play chess. Jew”Nephesh Havehamis“” is another animal, don’t mind “”Nefesh Haelokis. ”
Therapy has become a big word today. People around the world are looking for therapists to deal with traumatic experiences, marital issues, self-image issues, anxiety, OCD, life guidance, and more.
Of course, people who are so affected by an experience that they are unable to carry out their decision-making may need special treatment to help the mind work. But normal people with normal difficulties don’t need to go to therapy to deal with it. To that end, as Lebbe always says, we have the “Taurus Chime”, the law of life.
I would like to share my own experience with you.
At one point the medications I was taking were causing depression. I was depressed and even more depressed that I had to step back from my happy, active life.
I went to see a therapist, but they didn’t seem empowering. I found my Mashupia to be more sympathetic and uplifting.she talked about Nisho’sshares some of her own experiences rather than the clinical approach of a therapist.
My next experience as a therapist was when I conducted research and found that psychological tools improved my condition and did not require medication. I went to see a Flam Lubavich therapist who assured me that with their tools I could avoid unwanted things and even get off of drugs. I used the tools I was taught diligently until I started noticing symptoms that something was wrong.
I messaged my therapist about it and his response was “we’ll talk about that in the next session…” Well, I had to stay in the hospital so there was no next session. Her poor husband called the therapist to hear what we had last discussed before I was admitted to the hospital. When she tried to hang up, she was told she would be charged for the call…
When BH left the hospital, I was determined to grow. I served Hashem with Simcha, consciously smiling and expressing my gratitude even though my eyes were filled with tears. Things quickly started to change for the better and I was able to give to others sooner than I could have dreamed.
I am very grateful to Hashem for changing my situation and I realize how much I have grown. I felt empowered and saw changes in myself and my life. In contrast, those I know who are in therapy are not overcoming challenges. they lurk in it.
At one point when I was feeling depressed, my doctor asked me how I was spending my time. To name a few of the joint activities I did, my doctor commented on giving me plenty of “me time.” I didn’t understand what he was saying, so I asked. “What would you advise me to do with my time?” His reply was that I should play games on my cell phone…
To me, this epitomizes the worldly approach of focusing on oneself. Don’t do too much for others. If you do something for others, try to focus on yourself regularly.
This seems like obvious stupidity to me. If I need to step back, I certainly do, but my intention to step back is to return to serving Hashem and others with better energy. I’m not going to waste my time on useless games. Take a nap or do something healthy.
It is a Hashem-centric approach and a selfish approach. To be honest, my limited communal activities are a lifeline that allows me to forget myself and experience the privilege of being able to use the talents Hashem has given me to help others. I was able to do. Afterwards, I came home feeling fulfilled while feeling the afterglow for a while.
Final thoughts:
One of the things that therapists do better than Ravanim or Mashpim is the time they have for their clients each week. The reason is simple. Because they are paid for their time. Ravanim and Mashpim have other occupations and cannot afford to give up so much time. Of course, this is a big advantage. Because people can benefit from checking in each week for personal attention and discussing any obstacles that have arisen during the week.
This advantage can be easily fixed as follows:
If you’re looking for the occasional mashpeer session where a mashpeer listens to you and gives you guidance to take home and put into practice, you’ll find mashpeers here and there willing to spend time with you.
But if you’re looking for a more immersive “therapy” feel, book and pay for a session on Mashpea, and they’ll drop another paid project and give you that time. . You can benefit from “therapy” using the wisdom of the Torah. It’s a win-win.
If you would like to contact the author of this work, please contact: [email protected]waiting for the approval of the authors, we will contact the authors.
Note: The views expressed herein are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect those of Anash.org.
