TV presenter Anna Williamson, 42, from Hertfordshire, may have been losing her mind until she was diagnosed with panic disorder when she woke up struggling to breathe and desperately tried to escape. I was worried that there would be. In honor of her 10th Time to Talk Day in Mind, she shares her own story.
As I browsed the aisles at Tesco, trying to decide what to buy for dinner, a terrible, nostalgic feeling came over me. My heart began to race, I felt hot and cold, and I wanted to run away quickly. I was just trying to make a simple decision, but the anxiety hit me.
As I left my shopping there and ran out of breath from the supermarket, I knew I needed help. This wasn't the first time I'd had a panic attack, and my mental health was in shreds. It's time to find out what's going on with you.
The first time I experienced the same terrible feeling was when I was 25 years old, working away from home for the children's TV show Toonatic, which I hosted, and woke up from a deep sleep at 3am. I was out of breath. It felt like someone reached out with a clawed hand to my chest, grabbed it with a fist, and squeezed it tighter and tighter.
My heart pounded and I felt a strong urge to run, so I jumped out of bed and went outside. It was one of the worst moments of my life. It was an overwhelming feeling of panic that was almost unbearable. Eventually, when my emotions subsided, I returned home and called my brother. He tried to calm me down, saying it looked like I was having a panic attack.
wake up all night
I knew I would do anything to never experience that feeling again. But unfortunately there was no other option and over the next five months I started to feel like I was losing my mind.
Even when I was in my own flat in London, I woke up the same way almost every night, feeling trapped, panicked, and having trouble breathing. I was completely exhausted, both physically and mentally, and started spending each day like a rabbit in headlights, desperately trying to avoid the next attack. I was living in a kind of hell, and my every action was controlled by fear.
I began to live each day like a rabbit in the headlights, desperately trying to avoid the next attack.
Back in 2006, no one talked about mental health and mental health was still so stigmatized that I didn't feel comfortable telling my friends and colleagues what was happening to me. But I confided in my family. And my mother, who worked in a private hospital, knew a consultant psychiatrist who she thought could help me.
Check the trigger
Relieved that I might finally get some answers, I made an appointment. When my doctor tried to find out what was causing my anxiety, I found myself telling him things I had never told him before. Sometimes it's much easier to tell a stranger what's going on in your life. Because you don't have to worry about feeling judged or protecting other people's feelings.
I told him that I had been in a psychologically controlling relationship for the past nine months. My boyfriend tells me what to wear, insults me when I don't do what he wants, and when I decide to go out to see friends and family, he tells me I don't love him enough. I hinted.
This is a classic tactic of those in control. They separate you from everything you know and love until they bring you where you want to be.
This is a classic tactic of those in control. They separate you from everything you know and love until they bring you where you want to be. But deep down I knew I would never be able to appease him, but it was becoming easier to do what he wanted than to argue.
receive treatment
When I finished speaking, the doctor said: “You're having a mental breakdown. No wonder you've been through so much stress. No one can keep functioning like that.”
Many people don't like being labeled, but I was so relieved when I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. It was very cathartic for my doctor to tell me that I was sick and that there was something I could do about it. I just thought, “Thank God.” Suddenly, I wasn't alone in this horrible situation.
I felt very relieved after receiving the diagnosis. It was very cathartic for my doctor to tell me that I was sick and that there was something I could do about it.
I hadn't been sleeping properly for weeks, so I was given a short course of benzodiazepines to help me sleep, as well as an SSRI, a type of antidepressant. I underwent treatment with a psychiatrist twice a week for six weeks, including regression therapy to explain what was causing my panic attacks.
unravel the past
When I was 8 years old, I remember being in swimming class and being trapped under a floating foam mat that the teachers had placed in the pool for us to play on. I wasn't a good swimmer, so I panicked, got scared, pressed my hands against the mat, desperately trying to find the edge so I could escape.
Telling someone about what I was going through was a big turning point.
When I was finally able to pull myself out of the water, my swim teacher thought I was kidding and warned me, which only made me feel even worse. During therapy, I was brought straight back to that traumatic moment that I had forgotten everything about. It was quite an eye-opener. Explaining why I had such an overwhelming fear of being trapped, and why my mind and body triggered the same panic response when trapped in a relationship with a dominant man. did.
Telling someone about what I was going through was a big turning point. At the same time as going to therapy and taking medication, I told my parents what was going on, moved in with them, and ended the relationship. That played a huge role in my recovery.
create a new life
I began to reinvent myself, learning who I am and who I am not, and strategies on how to set boundaries and compartmentalize my time. Despite going through such a terrible period, after a few weeks I was not only back to my best, but my life was even brighter than before.
Despite going through such a terrible period, after a few weeks I was not only back to my best, but my life was even brighter than before.
Since my diagnosis, I have continued to train and study psychotherapy and have written books such as: Breaking Mad: An Insider's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety She is also a proud ambassador for mental health charity Mind.
I still sometimes feel the familiar fingers of anxiety and panic creeping up my spine, especially when I'm in an enclosed space like a train or airplane. But I recognize that avoiding them only limits me, so I try to confront them.
learn coping strategies
I learned breathing techniques, distraction techniques, how to stop myself from catastrophizing, and how to praise myself when I overcome difficult situations. I've also learned that the more I try to push the panic attacks away, the more they fight back and say, “No, I'm doing it.” It's like a short-tempered toddler. But if you just go with it and think, “Okay, I'll give it a go,'' things probably won't be as bad as you feared.
I strongly believe that a problem shared is halved. So reach out to your friends and family, ask them how they're doing, and let them know what's going on with you.
February 1st marks Mind's 10th Time to Talk Day, with almost two-thirds of people putting on a brave face when it comes to opening up about their mental health, according to the charity's latest research. It turned out that I was doing this. I get it – there's a lot going on for everyone right now and we don't want to burden others. But the important thing here is that you are not alone. do not have It's about burdening people, it's about sharing with people.
On this Time to Talk Day, I'm really encouraging people to talk. I strongly believe that a problem shared is halved. So reach out to your friends and family, ask them how they're doing, and let them know what's going on with you.If you want, you can also visit mind.org.uk There are lots of great resources out there for support.
There's nothing to be ashamed of even if you struggle. We all have mental and physical health conditions, and one or the other can fluctuate at any time. Therefore, it is important to accept that you may feel a little depressed at times. And that's totally fine.
