Facing your fears head on and dealing with them in a different way can help you live a fulfilling life.
That’s according to David H. Rosmarin, PhD, a psychologist and associate professor at Harvard Medical School, who offers the advice in his new book, “Living with Anxiety: 9 Ways to Survive and Manage Your Anxiety.”
Rosmarin told Fox News Digital that overcoming her own struggle with anxiety has helped her better help others.
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In “Living with Anxiety,” he writes that he unexpectedly discovered he suffered from the disorder when he opened an anxiety clinic in New York City in 2011.
Although he had already established a reputation in Boston, he was struggling to get patient referrals in New York. Rising costs And the commute between the two cities is tough.
Dr. David H. Rosmarin recently published a book called “Living with Anxiety: Nine Tools for Successfully Managing Anxiety.” (Anthony Randazza/Anxiety Center)
Rosmarin writes: “A wave of anxiety washed over me, quickly followed by feelings of self-criticism for being hypocritical, and a wave of catastrophic thoughts.”
He said he felt embarrassed and “set up for failure,” and wondered how he could help people overcome anxiety when he himself struggled with it.
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“Blaming yourself for feeling anxious is like punching someone on the floor to get them up,” he said.
But he found ways to become more conscious of making healthy lifestyle choices, including eating more nutritious foods, exercising more frequently and opening up to others about his challenges.
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The book points out that anxious people are often conscientious and driven, which could help them in their leadership roles.
According to Rosamarin, feeling anxious can also lead to greater understanding and self-acceptance.
Rosmarin is speaking at the New York Anxiety Center’s fall retreat on October 18, 2023. (Anxiety Center)
Anxiety also leads to empathy, he told Fox News Digital.
“When someone goes through the depths of hardship, you can see the anguish on other people’s faces,” Rosmarin said.
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“They understand what it’s like to feel uncomfortable, and that creates compassion.”
Anxiety is not a disease but a “normal human emotion that we all experience and can be harnessed to improve our inner strength, our relationships with others and our spiritual life,” he said.
5 Tips for Dealing with Anxiety
Rosmarin offered these tips for making the most of your anxiety:
1. Commit
He said it’s important to face and even embrace anxiety, rather than trying to avoid it.
“You can blame yourself for feeling anxious, get angry about it, run away from it… or you can embrace it,” Rosmarin said.
This requires “a healthy dose of self-compassion” and the recognition that feeling overwhelmed at times is part of being human, he said.
Rosmarin spoke at the Anxiety Disorders Center’s fall retreat in New York on Oct. 18, 2023. “You can criticize yourself for feeling anxious, get angry about it, run away from it … or you can embrace it,” she said. (Anxiety Center)
2. Practice positive self-talk
In her book, Rosmarin suggests speaking kindly to yourself, taking time to remove yourself from upsetting situations, and avoiding self-deprecating language.
“There are ways to train your physical strength and there are ways to train your mental strength.”
He writes that when he changed his internal dialogue to speak more kindly to himself, he became more self-aware and found the self-acceptance he needed to move forward.
3. Try exposure therapy
Psychologists say exposure therapy, a mental health treatment in which people face their fears, can also help them tolerate adversity rather than letting it control them.
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For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, Rosmarin suggests building resilience by raising your hand in a meeting, wearing something that will draw attention, or singing karaoke.
The psychologist in the inset photo details how facing anxiety head-on and dealing with it in a different way can improve your life. (iStock, Anthony Randazza/Anxiety Disorders Center)
“You don’t have to do this, but you don’t have to go to the gym and work out either,” he said.
“There are ways to train your physical strength and there are ways to train your mental strength.”
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The goal of this exercise is to get to a point where feeling anxious no longer bothers you. Even if you do feel anxious, it won’t stop you, he said.
4. Share your fears
The next step is to share your fears with someone if possible and reassure yourself that they won’t last forever, Rosmarin told Fox News Digital.
“Accept it, let it be, and feel the emotions,” he advised.
Experts suggest people speak kindly, take time to remove themselves from upsetting situations and avoid self-deprecating language. (iStock)
5. Seeking peace
The final step, according to Rosmarin, is the most important: letting go.
Psychologists said humans have a “built-in cooling system” called the “rest and digest” system, which helps calm the body.
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“We are human beings and we can’t control everything,” he pointed out.
“The more we accept that, the more at peace we feel.”
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Rosmarin’s anxiety center currently operates clinics in three states and treats about 1,500 patients each year, she told Fox News Digital.
“Living with Anxiety: 9 Ways to Successfully Manage Your Anxiety” is published by Harper Horizon.
