- Sociopaths are often portrayed as emotionless criminals and abusers.
- Dr. Patrick Gagné, a psychologist and diagnosed sociopath, wrote a memoir about his experiences.
- She variously described feeling misunderstood by others and having trouble finding help.
Diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder in his 20s. Dr. Patrick Gagné She struggled to find resources to treat the symptoms she had had all her life.
Even as a child, Gagne felt distinctly different from others. She struggles with pervasive apathy and violent impulses that seem more gentle than intense.
“Everyone else had access to hope,” Gagne says in his new memoir.sociopath“Schizophrenia, alcoholism, bipolar depression – there were treatment plans and support groups for all of them.” Sociopaths in popular culture include Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs and Patrick They are, like Bateman, “abominable villains with few exceptions.” In “American Psycho”.
The lack of available care for sociopaths inspired Gagne to pursue a PhD in psychology, where she specialized in the relationship between sociopathy and anxiety. Eventually, she worked as a therapist, where she “earned her modest reputation as an ‘antisocial therapist,’ working with clients with antisocial tendencies.”
Gagne’s memoir sheds light on many misconceptions about sociopaths, from how they process emotions to how they form relationships.
1. Sociopaths feel emotions, but not “social” emotions.
Sociopaths are often portrayed in the media as people with no emotions at all. But that’s not the case.
“Several emotions came up naturally, including anger and happiness,” Gagne wrote. “But other emotions weren’t so easy. Empathy and guilt, embarrassment and jealousy were like languages I couldn’t speak or understand.” He compares width to a “set of cheap crayons” and says that while he has access to the primary colors, he struggles with the “more subtle shades.”
As she studied sociopathy as an adult and went to therapy, she learned that sociopaths, and even psychopaths, can feel basic emotions. However, because they feel a lack of attachment to people, they do not experience “social emotions” such as shame, remorse, or even romantic love.
2. Anxiety causes violent or dangerous impulses
In pop culture, sociopaths find a thrill in hurting and manipulating others. But Gagné argues that the causes of high-risk and harmful behavior are more complex.
She describes feeling “pressure” and anxiety each time she feels apathetic. “I began to realize that the feeling of emptiness was making my urges to do bad things more extreme,” Gagné says.
Throughout the book, she channels her violent or illicit impulses by doing small, dangerous acts, such as breaking into people’s homes and temporarily stealing a car from a drunk fraternity brother. I tried to soften it.
After all, she considers her past actions to be “subconscious emotional impulses.” Doing something dangerous did not bring her so much positive pleasure that it relieved her tension and stress. It’s similar to the compulsions of OCD, she said.
3. Unlike psychopaths, they may show signs of change.
Although “sociopath” and “psychopath” are often used interchangeably, there are some important differences. To complicate matters further, both fall under the term “antisocial personality disorder,” which Gagne doesn’t think is helpful.
“Most of the traits on the antisocial and psychopathic checklist were easily relatable, but only about half of the antisocial traits were relatable,” she says.
Mr. Gagne was diagnosed using the Psychopathy Checklist, and because his symptoms are less extreme, scores in the lower range indicate sociopathy rather than psychopathy.
Research on the diagnosis is still limited, but experts believe that unlike psychopaths, sociopaths can feel anxious and also show signs of learning right from wrong, Gagne said.
4. You are not without healthy interests and hobbies.
Sociopaths have no hobbies other than committing crimes and hurting others, and are often portrayed in the media as stoic loners.
In fact, they can have interests and hobbies just like anyone else. In this book, Gagne talks about her passion for music (particularly jazz), her love for her childhood pet ferret, her bond with the children she babysat, and how she turned it into a career. He writes about his fascination with psychology.
5. Not understanding why things are “wrong”
In his book, Gagne explains how difficult it is to identify “bad” behavior.
“I may have missed the emotional connection to the concepts of good and evil, but I knew they existed,” she says. She doesn’t know it because she can’t naturally feel fear, shame, guilt, or remorse. When the person was doing something that could make people uncomfortable or frightened, such as stealing or stalking.
As an adult, she started trying to get revenge on people when she felt they had done something wrong. She brought flowers to strangers’ funerals, crashed them, and briefly filled up stolen cars with gas.
“Once someone left the stove on, so I turned it off,” she said of the home that had been broken into. “This is my way of trying to balance my karma.”
6. Sometimes we lie to avoid being judged.
A common assumption is that sociopaths always lie for fun or for personal gain. In Gagne’s case, he often lied about his feelings just to fit in. She says in her book that she felt claustrophobic whenever she realized she didn’t feel the way she was “supposed” to feel.
She felt sad when her pet ferret died, but she couldn’t really sob like her sister did. Throughout her childhood, she felt no regrets or fear, and it did not help her to share it with others.
This made it difficult for her to form genuine connections with others. Because she feels she has to act out or exaggerate her emotions in order to reassure others.
7. They want connection, too.
Another big stereotype of sociopaths is that they are completely content to be alone. While Gagne has always enjoyed solitude, he also felt lonely because he couldn’t be honest about his disability.
“No one could relate to me,” she says. “No one wanted to spend time with me. It wasn’t really me anyway. I was completely alone.”
Over time, she learned how to be more honest and found people who didn’t judge her.
8. Symptoms improve with treatment
In his book, Gagne mentions Dr. Ben Karpman, who theorized that sociopaths are “not hardwired to pursue antisocial lifestyles and may respond to treatment.” ing.
With no treatment options available, Gagne researched ways to alleviate her symptoms. She found that cognitive behavioral therapy helped her overcome the anxiety that caused her undesirable behavior. “In the end, it was all about mindfulness,” she writes.
It also helped her to accept that she was a sociopath. Because I realized that her anxiety often stemmed from pressure to fit in with her surroundings. She began to be more open about her diagnosis to reduce her feeling of always having to hide from others.
9. You can maintain long-term, healthy relationships.
Gagne married her childhood sweetheart, David. Together they share two children, a dog, and a cat.
“I am a passionate mother and wife,” she says in the book. “I’m a charming therapist. I’m very charming and everyone likes me. I have lots of friends. I’m a member of a country club. I throw parties for every imaginable occasion.”
It was because she sought treatment and answers that she was able to build lasting relationships with friends and family. That’s why she earned her PhD and started speaking publicly. About her experience.
“I’m a 21st century sociopath,” she says. “And I wrote this book because I know I’m not alone.”
