An addict struggling with dangerous temptations. A young man overwhelmed by a controlling relationship. A suicide survivor trying to overcome a gambling habit.
Everyone needs help with a major issue. None of us have anyone in our lives we can trust to listen.
So the three pick up the phone and confide their troubles to a stranger.
These stories are among dozens of calls received each month to the CONTACT Listening Line, a free telephone service that organizers are revamping to address one of the biggest health threats in modern society: loneliness.
“People feel like they’re not connected to anyone,” said Eleanor Letcher, executive director of CONTACT of Mercer County, the group that runs the line. “Someone needs to be able to call and have a place where they can talk to someone confidentially about whatever is bothering them.”
The concept of listening lines is nothing new, but their mission may be more important than ever during a loneliness crisis. Declared a public health epidemic.
In New Jersey, about 2.4 million people, or about 26.4% of the population, are socially isolated. Estimates for 2023 It’s banned by the state Department of Social Services. The effects on mental and physical health are devastating.
Depression. Feelings of hopelessness. Suicidal thoughts. Increased likelihood of heart disease and dementia. The staggering toll of loneliness increases the risk of premature death by more than 60 percent — as dangerous as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, Murthy said last year.
“Mental health crises are always a concern for people,” said U.S. Rep. Andy Kim, who represents part of Mercer County. “We have to recognize that there are major gaps in this country that need to be addressed in order to provide our citizens with the help they need.”
This is where the listening line comes in handy.
Contact’s services began during the hotline boom in the mid-1970s, when two local pastors organized volunteers to help strangers with their problems. The typical early caller felt overwhelmed by family arguments, raising children or dealing with in-laws, said Letcher, who has been involved with the program since its inception.
The hotline evolved over the decades to meet the needs of callers, eventually focusing on crisis resolution and suicide prevention. In 2022, Contact’s hotline joined the national 988 program to support people in suicidal crisis and began responding to 988 calls, texts and chats.
The original telephone line needed a new mission.
Organizers decided to introduce a new phone number (609-737-3300), consistent hours (weekdays 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.) and focus on combating the underlying problem that’s causing the volume of calls: Some people feel so alone that “no one cares if they’re alive or dead,” Letcher said.
Loneliness isn’t always easy to notice, but it can affect people who spend a lot of time with their spouse or are on a college campus surrounded by thousands of classmates, said Ashley Elmer, a professor of human development at Montclair State University.
“Humans have a desire to connect with others,” said Elmer, who has studied loneliness in adults specifically. “Knowing that someone is listening and trying to understand what you’re going through is a really powerful feeling.”
According to CONTACT, the line averages about 85 calls per month, a significant increase from last year. Callers don’t have to be in immediate crisis or feeling suicidal; anyone who just wants to talk can use the line.
Callers are a mix of volunteers and paid staff, including college students and some who have been working on the hotline for decades. Jesse Swede, coordinator for the CONTACT Listening Line, said their goal isn’t just to listen, but to connect callers to local services to get the ongoing support they need.
Callers in controlling relationships were referred to local counselors. Those struggling with addiction or temptation were referred to local programs to help them learn healthy coping skills. Those trying to quit gambling were provided with a list of several support groups.
“There is a desperate need for the kind of help we’re providing here,” Szed said.
CONTACT has seen a surge in demand for telephone counselling from younger generations, including those in their 20s, who are struggling with online harassment, sports betting addiction, excessive exposure to negative news, and worries about the future.
Going forward, CONTACT hopes to add text and chat options and extend listening line hours.
“We feel more connected than ever, but at the same time we feel so alone,” Elmer said. “What do we do next? Clearly, we need to take action.”
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Adam Clark can be contacted at inquiry.
