It is estimated that more than 13 million Americans will have dementia by 2050, more than double the current number.
The disease robs patients of their intellectual abilities, making it difficult for them to speak, express themselves, and understand others.
Communicating with someone suffering from the illness can be difficult, but experts are looking into ways to help families connect with their loved ones.
Researchers have published a list of 16 things you should never say to a dementia patient because they could cause stress and confusion.
It is estimated that by 2050, more than 13 million Americans will have dementia, more than double the current rate (Stock)
“It’s a big step forward,” said Dana Ebl, outreach manager for the Alzheimer’s Caregivers Network in Detroit, Michigan, who was not involved with the list. Fox News“Most people don’t regularly interact with people with dementia so it can be difficult to know what to say and how to behave, what to do and what not to do.”
“Unfortunately, even the most well-intentioned interactions can be stressful and disruptive for someone experiencing cognitive decline.”
of Complete listThe contents published below are mainly those released in January of this year.
1. Don’t you remember?
Experts put this at the top of the list of questions you should never ask a dementia patient.
Researchers warned that the treatment could force patients to admit they do not remember events or conversations, which could cause discomfort, stress and embarrassment.
The Alzheimer’s Society also warned that people could feel like they are being “tested” online.
Instead of asking this question, experts recommend starting with the sentence, “I remember when,” and continuing.
This allows patients to calmly recall their memories without feeling stressed or embarrassed, experts say.
2. “I told you so”
The second most important thing you should never do with a dementia patient, experts say, is remind them that they’ve asked the same question before.
Patients may be behaving this way because of short-term memory loss or because they are having trouble expressing certain emotional needs or desires.
People with dementia may have difficulty remembering events or describing memories.
Experts warned that reminding patients that they had asked the same question earlier would not help them remember next time, but would instead remind them of their condition, which could be distressing.
They added: “Keep in mind that for them, it will probably feel like the first time they’ve ever asked that question.”
Instead, family members were encouraged to respond to repeated questions calmly, patiently, and in a consistent tone.
If you feel like you need a break, it’s best to remove yourself from the conversation, experts said.
3. “Your brother died 10 years ago.”
A hallmark of dementia is having trouble remembering events that happened years or even decades ago, such as the death of a family member.
“Remembering the death of a loved one can be extremely distressing and people may react as if they are hearing the news all over again for the first time,” the Alzheimer’s Association said.
Instead, they recommended talking about the person they were speaking to and then moving on to a new topic to distract them.
It may also be worth asking how the person feels, especially about certain people or family members.
4. “Let me do it for you.”
Experts say one of the most difficult things for a dementia patient is realizing they can no longer perform tasks that were previously easy.
“Well-intentioned people often take over tasks prematurely without asking or judging whether they’re needed, which can reduce a person’s independence,” says Christina Chartrand, vice president of Senior Helpers, a Florida-based in-home care company.
“Instead of assuming they can’t do something, it’s more respectful to offer them help and let them know if they need it, and then allow them to continue doing what they can for as long as they can.”
Experts have suggested that dementia rates will rise in the U.S. However, a study published in November 2022 suggests the opposite, saying that dementia rates in the U.S. have fallen by one-third over the past decade.
But researchers at the California-based RAND organization found a slight increase in cases among women.
5. “You’re wrong.”
Because of their symptoms, people with dementia often confuse facts, events and words.
But experts say you should never tell a patient that what they said is wrong, adding that trying to correct them will only create anger.
Instead, family members are encouraged to keep the peace and not correct them.
“Stay calm,” says Elizabeth Landsberg, MD, a geriatrician in California, “and don’t feel the need to correct someone who believes today is Tuesday the 13th and not Monday the 1st.”
6. “Let’s have a cup of tea now, and then we’ll go for a walk and have lunch and drinks at our favorite cafe next to the big church in town.”
Experts say that long, complex sentences are contraindicated for dementia patients.
These are often difficult to understand even for people who don’t have the illness, and they express multiple thoughts at once, making them hard to process.
Instead, you should use short, simple sentences to clearly express your ideas or give directions or instructions.
The Alzheimer’s Society adds: “Avoid talking too much in noisy or busy environments and wait until you have the other person’s full attention before starting to speak.”
Even well-intentioned comments can upset dementia patients, experts say
“When you’re talking, give the other person enough time to understand what you’re saying.”
7. “What did you do this morning?”
Experts say you should avoid asking patients open-ended questions about their past.
“It can be stressful for someone with dementia if they can’t remember the answer,” the Alzheimer’s Association says.
“It may seem polite to ask someone how their day is, but it’s better to focus on what’s happening right now.”
Experts say that instead of asking questions, you should briefly talk about your day and then give your relative time to respond.
8. “You look fine.”
Experts say the symptoms and experiences of dementia can vary greatly from patient to patient.
“There are often societal preconceived notions of what people with dementia should look and behave like, and it can be tempting to use the term as a compliment to someone who doesn’t fit those stereotypes,” says Adria Thompson, a licensed speech-language-hearing pathologist in Massachusetts.
“But this term can belittle the everyday struggles and experiences of individuals.”
9. “Do you recognize me?”
Being asked if they remember someone, especially someone they were close to, can be distressing for someone with dementia.
The Alzheimer’s Society said online: “Remember that not being able to recognise people around them is likely to be disturbing for them.”
“Asking someone if they know who you are can make them feel guilty or anxious if they don’t remember, or uncomfortable if they do.”
Instead, they recommended greeting people with dementia with a “warm hello” and maintaining a friendly demeanor.
To help the patient, someone could also state the patient’s name and relationship, they said.
10. “Let me help you use your little spoon, okay?”
Experts say that in general, you should avoid talking to people with dementia as if they were old people or children.
This includes speaking in a high-pitched voice and using words like “darling” and “my dear,” which can come across as condescending and childish.
Instead, I was told that it might be wise to try speaking more slowly or in a lower tone of voice if that would help my family.
“Some people may prefer to be called ‘love’ or ‘dear,'” the Alzheimer’s Association said, “but if you don’t know the person well, it’s usually best to use their name instead, which helps maintain their dignity.”
11. “What you’re saying doesn’t make sense.”
It is important not to criticise a dementia patient’s communication as this can damage their self-esteem, experts said.
Instead, they suggested that people should be patient and make an effort to understand their perspective.
12. “They’re just trying to find fault with me.”
This word can be hurtful to someone with dementia and may come across as derogatory.
Experts also warned that labelling a behaviour as “difficult” can increase frustration.
Instead, they recommended using “empathy and understanding.”
13. Using words like “bib” and “diaper”
As the disease worsens, some patients may require round-the-clock care.
This may include the use of products to help the patient with incontinence or to make men’s time easier.
But to avoid childish connotations, experts recommended using positive language to describe the products, calling them “protective underwear,” “cloths” or “aprons” instead.
14. “That never happened.”
This can also create a disruptive atmosphere in the home and increase the patient’s distress and discomfort.
Instead, experts again say it’s best not to correct mistakes, and recommend gently guiding them to the right answer, if possible.
15. “You [insert activity]?’
In some cases, people with dementia may become confused when activities are phrased in the form of questions.
“If you’re the primary caregiver who manages your loved one’s bathroom, shower, eating and sleeping schedule, you should say, ‘Let’s go to the bathroom, shower and kitchen,'” Kate Granigan, a geriatric care worker in Boston, told Fox News.
“A little extra direction will help you stay on schedule.”
16. “What do you want to wear today?”
Open-ended questions can be distressing for people with dementia.
Instead, they recommended putting two options in front of patients so they could choose.
For example, present a red sweater and a blue sweater side by side and ask, “Which one would you wear?”
