Motherhood is beautiful. It’s a feeling like no other. You think you loved, but wait until the baby is born and you will know what true love is.
These and many other comments are just some of the comments most pregnant and future mothers will receive.
But what if you’ve never experienced anything like that? What if the bundle of joy you delivered didn’t live up to its name?
Not all women experience new love when they have their first baby.
Sometimes it takes a day, sometimes it takes months.
questioned
The story of Olivia Nasserian, a 24-year-old Kitengela woman accused of cutting a child’s internal organs has shocked many. Some wondered how a mother could do such a thing to a child, while others wondered what caused such behavior.
Jane, who decided to go by her first name due to the nature of the story, says she hated her baby aside from feeling like a failure and unfit to be a mother. Her screams inspired her the most.
“I hated my baby so much. When he cried, I would pinch him and slap him.”
He was four months old at the time. “I even thought of throwing him down a few floors,” she said.
Jane decides to seek help after an incident. Around 8pm she was home alone. It was her nanny’s day off, but her baby started crying because her nanny refused to feed her.
“I hit him so hard that he fell off the couch. I will never forget that look, it felt like he was asking me why you hurt me when you were supposed to protect me. I cried so much that my whole body trembled.”
Jane googles “why does she hate babies” and decides she needs to seek professional help.
“I was prescribed medicine. I have never told this story to anyone.”
don’t know
29-year-old mother of two, Chevet Biril, said everything started to make her feel uneasy.
“I was scared. I had just graduated from college and thought about having an abortion, but my boyfriend, who is now my husband, advised me not to. I graduated when I was three months pregnant. did,” she says.
Chebet gave birth safely, and after losing her job, went to live with her in-laws.
Living with a new family has brought a lot of anxiety, she said.
“They took care of me, but I didn’t know how to behave and was uncomfortable. When I tried to do housework, they told me I had just delivered and should stop. I started feeling worthless and unimportant.”
The biggest trigger was a party held for babies.
“I felt guilty. did,” she says.
Chebet began to believe that he was a demon and began to contemplate suicide. He said, “I wanted to kill myself and go with the baby. Who will take care of the baby?”
She later returned to her mother’s home in Kericho, where she attempted suicide for the first time. She went to the kitchen and picked up her knife.
“When I held the knife, my hands were weak and I felt very helpless. That’s when I heard my mother calling my name,” she says.
She was delusional. She believed her baby wasn’t hers, except she hadn’t showered in days.
suicidal ideation
She was in Nairobi with her husband when she attempted suicide a second time. Her husband’s friends came to visit with a lot of shopping.
“I felt so guilty that I couldn’t help my husband with his finances and had his friends buy things for me. I went and jumped off the fifth floor.One of his friends was outside and interfered with my mission.”
She was taken to the hospital as her condition worsened.
“I could hear babies crying everywhere. Even when I saw old people’s faces in the obituaries of the newspapers, every face looked like my child’s.” She was put on antipsychotic drugs. , the symptoms were managed.
When she became pregnant with her second child in 2020, her family was watching for symptoms. But her depression was different with her second child, and she “felt like Jesus.”
“For the first time I was the devil with negative thoughts, but this time I am Jesus and I am carrying all the troubles of the world.
Chebet said he wanted to sing hymns out loud and do anything. “I was manic. They will cry out to them, ‘Come, you who are burdened, and I will give you rest.'”
She was given medicine and went to Kericho’s mother for a week. “My mother and husband are my biggest support system.”
support group
Paskelin Njau founded an organization in 2017 called Calmind Foundation, which promotes maternal mental health through education, advocacy and advocacy. This was after she experienced postpartum depression.
“After my recovery, I decided that I would no longer sit and watch other women suffer in the dark, in silence. I decided to share my story on various platforms to encourage people to speak up to reduce stigma,” she says.
After the birth of her second child, Pasqueline said she felt overwhelmed by everything. She said, “The little work broke my heart and made her cry.”
“There were nights when I cried to sleep. It makes me very sad,” she says.
She felt that she was a bad mother and that her children would be happier without her. But the thought of her ending her own life was too scary.
My husband knew she wasn’t okay, but he didn’t understand exactly what was going on. He said she had just changed.
A friend realizes that he may be ill and needs help. She was told by her recommended counselor that she was suffering from postpartum depression. She said, “The fact that I had hyperthyroidism increased my risk of developing mental illness. This is where my recovery began. She walked with me to full recovery.” rice field.”
know the signs
Recognizing and knowing the signs of postpartum depression helped Pascrine when she was pregnant with her third child.
“I wasn’t ready to have another child any time soon, and I was afraid I was going to be depressed again. But I decided to help myself. So I was very conscious. I hired an extra nanny to help take care of the baby, found time to rest and take care of myself, and managed to effectively cope without falling into depression. I also used self-help techniques that helped,” she says.
Pacifica Onyancha, M.D., a visiting psychiatrist at Nairobi West Hospital, said postpartum depression can begin within the first year of giving birth, but usually within the first few weeks or months. A mood disorder characterized by sadness, anxiety, irritability, and fatigue.
“Postpartum psychosis, on the other hand, is a more serious condition involving hallucinations, delusions and disorganized behavior. This condition is less common than postpartum depression, but can be more dangerous if left untreated. there is,” she says.
Onyancha said the exact cause of postnatal depression and psychosis is not well understood, but she believes that changes in hormone levels, particularly low levels of estrogen and progesterone, may play a role.
maternal stress
“Stress from caring for a newborn, lack of sleep, changes in routine and social support may also contribute to the development of these symptoms. have a family history of other mental illnesses,” she says.
Onyancha added that while any woman can experience postnatal depression and psychosis, certain factors can increase the risk. Women with a history of depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder are more likely to experience postnatal depression and psychosis.
Other risk factors include difficult pregnancy and childbirth, lack of social support, and financial and relationship stress.
In Nasserian’s case, attorney Cynthia Benson says it’s the prosecution’s job to prove intent.
“But we know that no mother of sound mind would kill or harm her child in any way. Proving that a woman had the intention to kill her child is difficult”
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