Editor’s note: This story contains references to suicide. Information about suicide warning signs and resources for people in crisis can be found at the end of this article.
“Hello,” Selena Gomez said after taking her seat to a sold-out crowd at South by Southwest on Sunday afternoon. She then introduced herself: “I’m Selena.”
The pop star and “Murder in the Bills” actress joins her mother Mandy Teefey, New York Jets defensive lineman Solomon Thomas, and therapists Corey Yeager and Jessica Stern to discuss her mental health. He talked about his experiences.Co-founded by Gomez and Teefy Wondermind is a community-based mental health website and soon to be an app. Thomas and his family then founded Defense Line, a nonprofit that supports mental health and suicide prevention for young people of color.
With the release of her 2022 documentary My Mind and Me, Gomez has opened up about her diagnosis of bipolar disorder and the mental health crisis that led to her canceling her 2016 tour. Of her documentary about her illness, she said, “I was scared to do it.” “The moment I did that, there was just this crazy release that happened… It helped ease the anxiety of trying to maintain it.”
Feedback from fans and people who had similar experiences convinced her that talking about her mental health was the right thing to do.
we have to talk about mental health
Yeager said it certainly helps when celebrities like Gomez and Thomas share their stories. “Even if all we see on Instagram is ‘Selena is doing a great job, Solomon is doing a great job,’ we don’t see the struggle,” he said. Told.
For Thomas, “I’ll be honest with you, it took me a while to get to this point with my mental health,” he said. He grew up in a locker room where it wasn’t safe to be vulnerable and emotional. He lost his sister Ella to suicide.
“I was overcome with sadness,” he said. “I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t wake up.” He had suicidal thoughts. “I had to work,” he said. “I learned that it’s okay to not be okay.”
Now, he’s openly talking about his emotions and mental health in the locker room and in public. “We need more voices in this world,” Thomas said.
He nods to his anxiety about speaking at SXSW, saying, “I’m a little nervous. I have this speaking event coming up soon. There’s 17,000 people here.”
how we interact with ourselves
Teefey talked about growing up always feeling different because of her mental health. She said to herself, “Oh, I must be crazy.” Then, about her attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, “I’m stupid.” “That became my truth,” she said.
She now lives by the rule: “If you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, you aren’t allowed to say it to yourself.”
Yeager acknowledged that it’s easier to live with the negative patterns of bad self-talk. Positive thinking requires effort. “I give grace to others, but I do not give grace to myself,” he said.
For Thomas, the first 16 of his 18-year NFL career were “terribly soliloquizing.” Now you’ll see him talking to himself on the sidelines. “I’ll do it. I can do it. I’m confident.” He no longer tells himself he’s not good enough. “That shattered my confidence,” he said.
Gomez said the lack of confidence was real. “I work in the strangest industry,” she said. She said, “I felt like it wasn’t right for me.”
The documentary allowed Gomez to relive how she talked about herself during the six years covered in the documentary. “When she hears what she says to herself, it makes her feel bad. It makes her angry,” she said. She went to a treatment center and received regular treatments such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which uses tools such as thought fact-checking to get her out of the delirium of thoughts in her head. He said things I would never say to him.
“Everything I complained about back then, I appreciate now,” she said.
Putting yourself first leads to better mental health
Teefey, who co-produced the series “13 Reasons Why” with her daughter, experienced her own mental health crisis during the show’s second season. “I almost fell apart,” she said. “I have spent all these years giving my energy to others.”
She had seizures and cried every day. She went to a treatment center for the first time. “I had to face who I am,” she said of her treatment. “It was great because I didn’t have a cell phone. I have to focus on myself.”
In Gomez’s case, many people in her life wanted her to receive treatment before she finally did. “I wasn’t ready,” she said. “I’ve tried a few times, but I think I’m in a better place now.”
What’s in their mental health toolbox?
For Gomez, it’s therapy and meetings. She especially likes her DBT technique on RAIN.
- recognize what is happening
- Allow the experience to be present as it is.
- They will kindly investigate
- Natural awareness comes from non-identification with experience.
Teefy loves attending classes to learn more and writing in his diary. “It calms me down. It gives me a sense of control. It helps me find peace,” she said.
Mr. Yeager employs what he calls a Supreme Court of three to five people who know him well. You can call them to get their opinion and take the pressure off.
Thomas uses meditation to ground himself. “I’m a huge overthinker,” he said. He also keeps his diary and said, “The therapy saved my life. It allows me to know myself more.”
He’s also an advocate of simple self-care practices like getting out in the sun, exercising for 20 minutes, not using your phone, and drinking plenty of water. “It could be as simple as that,” he said.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. 988 Or, text our 24-hour Integral Care Line. 741-741.
