A depressed young man is smoking a cigarette, drinking alcohol and holding his head in his hands.
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According to therapists CNBC spoke to, the ultra-wealthy often struggle with a range of emotions that many others tend to share, including loneliness, depression, and paranoia, among others.
Paul Hochmeyer, a clinical psychologist who works with the ultra-wealthy, told CNBC: “Most people don’t understand how wealthy people have problems. “They dismiss the above concerns as trivial and unimportant.”
The biggest problem plaguing Hochmeyer’s clients is chronic isolation.
“They live in a rare place in the top 1%, where there are very few people who share the realities of their world,” said Drayson Muse Clinic founding director, adding that the ultra-wealthy often find it difficult for people to understand who they are. He said he is often not entirely sure whether he shares the reality of our world. Love who they are and what they have.
Their relationships become defined by what they can offer others rather than who they are.
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“People tend to think of you as lucky and happy, but neither of those things may be true,” says Amanda Folkson, a psychotherapist specializing in wealth counseling at Psychotherapy City.
She noted that they too face a range of emotions, including grief, trauma, loss and difficult relationships. But on top of that comes the pressure of how to spend your money and who to trust.
“Wealth can be quite isolating…sometimes all eyes are on you to see how you spend your money,” she said, adding that some clients are concerned about how they are remembered. He pointed out that they face pressures on whether they want to be paid for their money and where to spend that money, or whether it’s the right thing to do. These include investing, philanthropy, and legacy building.
Wealth can cause people around the ultra-rich to view wealth as an object, Hochmeyer observed.
Wealthy people tend to have high social status, and people living in states of diminished power are often attracted to them. The latter could be seen as a ladder for the wealthy to ascend to more powerful positions, he said.
The psychotherapist said clients are often subjected to endless demands.
“Their relationships become defined by what they can offer others rather than who they are,” he added. Against this backdrop, the ultra-wealthy tend to be more suspicious of people’s motives when interacting with them.
A woman in a hot tub.
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As a result, it can also be difficult to reconcile relationship dynamics for wealthy individuals whose partners may not have comparable wealth or income, Hochmeyer said.
In many cases, the wealthier spouse may feel “used” for their own money, while the less wealthy spouse may be stereotyped as a “gold digger.” , may be viewed negatively.
There is also a difference between someone who has acquired wealth and someone who has inherited it or suddenly has a large amount of money.
People who became rich through their own accomplishments Hochmeyer said it has what is known as a strong internal control center. They feel responsible for their life’s trajectory and are confident in their ability to earn money again, even if they lose money.
Conversely, people who suddenly acquire wealth, such as through inheritance or the sale of a business, may have difficulty adjusting to their new purchasing power, status, or circumstances, psychotherapists said. They also lack confidence in handling and maintaining their wealth.
A sudden influx of wealth can often lead to existential identity challenges and strained relationships, Folkson said.
“Where do you get your sense of meaning, purpose, and structure when you don’t have to work? Do you end up a walking dollar sign? Now that I’m no longer part of the old world Where do I fit in?” she said, echoing some of her customers’ concerns.
“Wealth does not take away our human needs, and having meaning and purpose in life is a very important need.”
