Michelle Gonzalez-Reed’s son, Dajon, said he started noticing symptoms when he was in high school. mental health issues Her teenage son showed signs such as lack of interest in friendships and activities, and sleeping all day.
Over the next few years, as Gonzalez-Reed tried to care for her as Dajon’s mental health worsened, she said she, too, began to suffer from symptoms. mental health issuesfor the first time in my life.
Gonzalez-Reed, who lives near Fresno, California, said, “Some of the issues I dealt with were difficulty concentrating, trouble sleeping, irritability, and fatigue, all of which are symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder.” It is,” he said. “Good morning America” “I think I was so focused on him that I didn’t really realize it was happening to me.”
Despite working in the mental health field as a certified marriage and family therapist, Gonzalez-Reed struggles with mental health issues in addition to working full time and being a single mother of two. said he ignored his own mental health struggles because they were too much. And I’m concerned about Da-jung’s mental health.
When Dudgeon died in 2019, Gonzalez-Reed said she believed his mental health struggles were a contributing factor. After his death, Gonzalez-Reed said, he began suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and prolonged grief.
She said it took her a year after Da-jung’s death to seek help for her own mental health.
“I knew I had to pick myself up again,” Gonzalez-Reed said of seeking professional help. “I had to pick myself up, but it’s still really hard every day. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my son and miss him so much.”
Gonzalez-Reed’s story isn’t always told, but the data shows it’s all too common.
For the past three years, headlines have reported stories like: The growing youth mental health crisis In the US. But experts say a little-known flip side of the youth mental health crisis is that parents are also struggling with their own mental health.
Parents’ mental health crisis ‘ringing the alarm’
Research results published earlier this year shows that parents and teens suffer from anxiety and depression at roughly equal rates.
“Our data shows that if you are a depressed teen, you are about 5 times more likely to have a depressed parent. If you are an anxious teen, you are about 3 times more likely to have an anxious parent. It’s double.” Dr. Richard Weisborda psychotherapist and director of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. A project to share compassionThe company that conducted the survey told “GMA”.
In 2021, Report from U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy He warned of a growing mental health crisis among young people. The report, published during the coronavirus pandemic, found a 51% increase in emergency department visits for suspected suicide attempts among girls and a doubling of reported anxiety and depression symptoms across genders. He cited statistics such as:
Nearly 40% of teens surveyed reported being at least “somewhat concerned” about the mental health of at least one parent, according to data collected last year by the Shared Caring Project. And more than one-third of teens reported at least one parent reporting anxiety or depression.Additional data shared by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that 1 in 14 children in the United States has a caregiver with poor mental health.
“It’s just as alarming to hear about the mental health crisis among parents as it is about the mental health crisis among teens,” Weisbord said. “I don’t think you’ll be able to work well with teenagers unless the parents also support you.”
Part of the explanation behind the data showing that parents are struggling with mental health along with their children has to do with biology, Weisbord said. Having a close family member with a mental illness, such as a parent, increases the risk of developing mental health problems. According to the National Institute of Mental Health.
But just as important are environmental factors, which for parents can be anything from the stress of everyday life to the stress of watching a child battle a mental illness, Weisbord and other experts say. .
Jay Crosby, a father of three in Connecticut, said he struggled mentally and emotionally with the isolation that comes with being the parent of a child with mental health issues. . In his case, he said his two eldest sons, now 21 and 19, had struggled with their mental health since childhood.
“I can’t express how lonely this journey has been,” Crosby told GMA. “People don’t send food deliveries, packages, flowers, they don’t get condolence calls. Their understanding is a judgment. It’s a judgment on you as a parent, a judgment on your ability to ‘control your child,’ becomes very important.”I miss you. That’s not enough to describe it. ”
Crosby said that when her children were young, she struggled to find time to take care of herself because she spent so much of her energy helping children with mental health issues. He said that when he found time for himself, he resorted to “escapism”, which for him meant drinking alcohol.
Crosby said he didn’t seek help for his self-described alcoholic for years because there was “no pressing need.”
“We always say we have to put ourselves first, but we still can’t. It’s really hard to do that,” Crosby said, like putting on an oxygen mask on a plane in an emergency. I said it compared to what was said. , Before helping a child, parents first.
“I know I need to put on an oxygen mask first, but my hand gets stuck in the chair, so all I can do is help the child,” Crosby said. “Even though I know I can get it, [the oxygen mask].Reaching for your child’s things even when you know they are meant for you [oxygen mask] beginning. “
Dr. Christine CrawfordParents like Crosby and Gonzalez-Reed are far from alone, said the child and adolescent psychiatrist at Boston Medical Center. She said in her practice she is seeing an increase in the number of children with mental health issues, as well as the number of parents and caregivers who are trying to help them.
“Parents are almost overwhelmed and feel hopeless,” said Crawford, who is also the hospital’s associate medical director. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)He told “GMA”. “They keep seeing their child struggling and they’re like, ‘I’m trying so hard and I’m not seeing any change,’ and they feel like that’s not good for them as parents. , and at the same time also…all these negative thoughts about them as human beings begin to torment them.”
How parents can find help
Crawford said she simply asks parents and caregivers how things are going at the start of each therapy appointment, considering both the children and parents are at risk.
“For many parents, everyone is so focused on their child’s well-being that they often don’t have the space or opportunity to reflect on themselves and what it’s like to be in this role as a caregiver. It’s totally appropriate,” Crawford explained. “If you’re interacting regularly with teachers and pediatricians, people won’t spend as much time checking in on you.”
Mr Crawford said the initiative aims to first enable parents to help themselves, but also to enable parents to support their children’s mental health.
“The reality is that children spend the majority of their time with their caregivers, not with us practitioners,” she says. “So the job that we do as health care providers is not going to be 100% successful if we know that we’re going to be sending kids into an environment where caregivers are struggling every day.”
Similarly, Weisbord said parents seeking help and talking about their mental health can be a good model for children, and vice versa.
“Parents often have a lot of wisdom because they know a lot about anxiety and depression, and they know a lot about how to deal with anxiety and depression,” he said. “And this group represents some of the most psychologically aware and articulate teens in our history, who have a very broad vocabulary for talking about mental health issues. It could be a group, and teens generally don’t feel the same stigma as their parents, and often teens can help their parents.”
Crosby said she eventually sought professional help to deal with her mental health, but also found support by connecting with other parents. Ms. Crosby said that when her oldest son was 16, he began attending parent support meetings through what is now known as Activities. mental health americaa non-profit organization.
“It’s really amazing how many people say they appreciate this group, because they just didn’t know there were other people like us. Because we don’t talk about it,” Crosby said, adding: The stigma remains, especially for fathers like him who struggle with mental health. “Yet, mental health is not talked about enough.”
Ms. Crosby continues to attend parent support meetings and now serves as a facilitator. He said he has learned over the years that there are good days and bad days in the mental health journey, especially when parents are focused on themselves during the good times and help their mental health during the dark days. “We need to be able to prepare for the future,” he said.
Gonzalez-Reed said she, too, has found ways to overcome her own mental health issues by talking about them publicly and by connecting with other parents through organizations like NAMI and NAMI. jed foundation, Nonprofit organization focused on youth mental health.
“We need to reach out to the groups that are out there and take advantage of that,” Gonzalez-Reed said. “And if you go to a group, you can hear other people talking about their loved ones and what they’re going through, and that can help you.”
Crawford recommends parents and caregivers schedule time with each other away from their children so they can have real conversations about topics like mental health that can be difficult to discuss on the playground or on the school pick-up phone call. ing. She also said that all adults, especially parents and caregivers, should make an annual appointment for themselves and their doctor just as they would make an annual check-up for their child. Stated.
”[Primary care providers] “They are used to talking about everyday mental health-related issues and can point you in the right direction about where to get support,” Crawford said, adding, “They are used to talking about everyday mental health-related issues and can point you in the right direction about where to get support.” It’s also normal to call your PCP to get it taken care of.” Just like if you have a physical concern, you can call and see a doctor within a week. ”
If you or someone you know is facing suicide, drug use, or other mental health crisis, please call or text 988. A trained crisis counselor is available to her 24/7, free of charge. You can also visit 988lifeline.org.
