The Surgeon General has issued a new public health warning, and this time the danger isn’t tobacco or alcohol, it’s parenting.
Two-fifths of parents say they are “too stressed to function” most days, according to the U.S. Public Health Service. Parents under pressureNearly half of parents described the stress as “completely overwhelming.”
These dire findings are the basis of a 35-page report released in late August that calls parental stress an “urgent public health issue.” Drawing on data from the American Psychological Association and other sources, the report makes the case that parents are facing more stress than at any time in recent memory.
One-third of parents with children under 18 Assess your stress levels According to data from the Psychology Association, two-fifths of parents rate themselves as eight or above on a 10-point scale.Stress builds up and I feel numbThree-fifths say stress makes it hard for them to concentrate, and two-thirds are struggling with money problems.
In both cases, parents reported significantly higher rates of stress than nonparents.
“Our stress levels are probably 10 times higher,” said Sarah Baron, 35, a mother of three who lives near Sacramento, California, comparing herself to her child-free friends. “They can go out drinking and partying and they don’t have to find babysitters.”
“It’s the warning we all needed.”
Parenting and childcare advocates praised the Surgeon General’s efforts to sound the alarm about the stresses of modern parenting.
“This is the wake-up call we all needed.” Gretchen Salyerfounder and CEO of June Care, a company that connects parents with other family members for child care. “Think about the ripple effect that this will have on children. How can we expect the youth mental health crisis to improve if parents can’t function?”
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, a father of two, added a personal note to the advisory, describing raising children as “the hardest and most challenging job I’ve ever had.”
The report provides a data-driven snapshot of the top causes of parental stress.
Childcare fees are rising
Childcare fees are 26% increase Over the past decade, according to White House estimates.
The average household paying for child care spends $325 a week, or 18.6% of their weekly income, according to a recent analysis by personal finance site LendingTree. Another report from caregiver site Care.com found that the average family spends 24% of their household income on child care.
Both numbers Federal Guidelines About how much parents should pay for child care.
“There’s no question that the cost of raising children is significantly higher than it was a generation ago.” Matt Schultz“There are a lot of couples out there who are undecided about whether the cost of child care is worth the effort for one parent to find a second job,” said John McClellan, chief credit analyst at LendingTree.
More demands on parents’ time
The Surgeon General’s report suggests that parents have much greater demands on their time today than previous generations.
According to federal data, the average parent spends 33.5 hours per week on work or related activities.
Both mothers and fathers are working more hours. Mothers’ average work hours increased from 20.9 hours per week in 1985 to 26.7 hours by 2022. Fathers’ average work hours increased from 39.8 hours to 41.2 hours over the same period.
Parents are also spending more time caring for their own children: The amount of time mothers spent on childcare increased from an average of 8.4 hours per week in 1985 to an average of 11.8 hours per week in 2022. For fathers, the average number of hours spent on childcare per week increased from 2.6 hours to 6.6 hours in the same year.
The federal report cited several other stressors for parents, including: Amid the ongoing youth mental health crisis, nearly three in four parents worry their children will suffer from anxiety or depression; the actual or potential for a school shooting stresses 74% of parents; and two-thirds of parents feel lonely.
Technology emerges as a parenting challenge
Technology has emerged as the single biggest challenge in raising children in America: The report found that nearly 70% of parents say parenting is harder than it was 20 years ago, with social media being the main culprit.
Sites like TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram have been accused of hijacking kids’ brains, monopolizing their time, isolating them from loved ones and causing or exacerbating mental health problems.
For struggling parents, the COVID-19 pandemic has proven both a blessing and a curse.
The remote work revolution has allowed millions of parents to work from home, giving them much more flexibility in child care decisions.
But the pandemic has also led to child care facility closures, creating child care deserts in many areas across the country.
“Childcare places are becoming scarcer,” said Sean Lacey, general manager of childcare at Care.com. “There are fewer and fewer childcare places available and the waiting lists for parents trying to get their children into childcare are getting longer.”
Barron, a mother in Sacramento, gave birth to her third child at the start of the pandemic.
“Daycare wasn’t an option because everything was closed,” she said. “Once we were able to get daycare, the monthly payments were $3,000” — nearly the same as the mortgage.
“I found myself in a situation where I had to leave a career that I’d spent 15 to 20 years building in order to raise my children,” she said.
Americans are becoming parents later
The stresses of modern parenting are well known and are causing many young Americans to reconsider becoming a parent.
According to federal data, the US birth rate is at its lowest on record, with more women having children in their 30s.
Researchers cite career concerns, limited child care options, inadequate parental leave policies and the cost of raising children as reasons Americans are having fewer children.
“It can be scary sometimes because you see how much it’s going to cost and how much your lifestyle will change,” said Scarlett Shue, 37, of San Diego.
Xu waited until she was in her mid-30s to have her first child, who is now approaching his second birthday.
“I wanted to make sure I was financially OK,” she said.
“Childcare Desert”:In this state, parents pay one-third of their income for child care.
How can policymakers help stressed parents?
The Surgeon General’s report outlines several policy measures that federal and local governments can use to help struggling parents, including:
- Increase and expand funding for programs like Head Start and Healthy Start, which support parents with early education and medical needs.
- Establish a nationwide paid family and medical leave program.
- Invest in social infrastructure that connects parents and caregivers, like community parks and programs.
- Ensure parents and guardians have access to affordable, quality mental health care.
