I think I'm having a heart attack. I'm going to die.
It's past 4am and I'm alone in bed in my shared student house. When I woke up a few minutes ago, I was feeling better. Of course, I automatically started worrying. She is certain that her boyfriend will dump her, and even more certain that she will fail her degree. Don't think, don't think, don't think, I tell myself. My body is frozen now and I can't think of anything. You hyperventilate and feel like you can't breathe and your chest and lungs are stiff. It's on fire. You will feel short, sharp stabbing pains in your neck, shoulders, and torso. I have to wake up. I have to call an ambulance. But I can't move. What are you going to do?
Then, just as suddenly as it began, it stops. No trace of pain remains. Shaking and exhausted, I drink some water and go back to sleep.
The next day I told a friend about my bizarre near-death experience. If it wasn't so physical, I would wonder if I would have dreamed it. “It feels like a panic attack,” she says. I've never heard of panic attacks before. That sounds made up, it's ridiculous. She goes to see her doctor and is told not to worry. “It’s just exam stress,” he says cheerfully. “Try relaxing.”
When I was 21, I couldn't understand how something so material could arise in my head. I had panic attacks every few months, and when I went to the doctor, I was told there was nothing physically wrong with me.
Bupa experts estimate that one in three people will experience at least one panic attack in their lifetime, but not all panic attacks go unreported. Clinical psychologist Dr Sophie Mort says they are often overlooked. “In my clinic, I regularly see patients who are actually having a panic attack but are referred to other doctors for possible heart or stomach problems,” she says. say.
When the last study on mental illness in adults was published, 0.6% of adults The British man had been diagnosed with panic disorder and suffered from regular panic attacks.
After three years of sporadic panic attacks, I became one of them. My GP wrote me a prescription for the antidepressant citalopram and referred me to a CBT counselor. I was relieved. I didn't realize how much pressure the panic attacks were putting on my life. I was so embarrassed that I even lied about panic attacks and told people I had food poisoning. My diagnosis made me feel empowered. I wasn't crazy, I was sick.
Medication stabilized my mood swings, and sessions with a counselor gave me the tools to identify my anxiety. Whenever I felt short of breath or my muscles felt stiff and tense, I started breathing deeply and slowly, which prevented my emotions from developing into a full-blown panic attack.
