Parenting is often a difficult task, interspersed with moments of love and joy. As one woman discovered, raising children while grieving is especially hard work, a never-ending journey, plain and simple.
A mother wondered whether to let her daughter have a relationship with her seriously injured father.
she wrote on the r/parenting subreddit. heartbreaking concernwas worried that allowing her 3-year-old to maintain contact with her father would do more harm than good. She explained that her husband suffered a severe traumatic brain injury during her pregnancy.
Due to the extreme nature of the accident, he was hospitalized for the first five months after his daughter was born. Finding consistent care for him was difficult. His mother spent her two years caring for her daughter and her injured husband while working full time.
Currently, her husband lives in a facility near her parents' home. She described his situation and said he was “in full care, has impulse control issues, motor skills issues, and is cognitively a teenager.”
Because of his brain damage, “he's never been a traditional father” and has only a 10-minute attention span.
She takes her toddler to visit her father every six weeks, but the visits are proving difficult. She said, “When we go out, he's always angry that he can't come home and live with us.'' She worries that his presence in her life is causing psychological damage to her toddler.
“I told him I was sorry and that I loved him so much. He responded that he didn't love me, and my daughter said, 'I still love mom.' . All I felt was heartbreak.my daughter [was] I'm trying to figure out how I feel,” she said.
She also revealed that she is raising her children alone while financially supporting three children, making the situation even more difficult.
“My husband loves her and talks about her all the time to other people,” she said, but is unsure whether to stay in the relationship. “This is a heartbreaking life that I wouldn't wish on anyone,” she explained, and she captured that there was no obvious solution to certain situations.
The mother received an outpouring of support from people on Reddit, many of whom had family members who had suffered a traumatic brain injury and spoke of the unique and tender challenges that type of loss brings.
“You're in a tough situation. Kudos to you for thinking of other people's feelings when you're almost drowning most of the time,” someone commented. They find out her answer by asking, “When she turns 20, what do you want her to understand based on the choices you've made for her?” We recommended projecting into the future.
But she also points out that mothers shouldn't overlook the emotional toll everything takes on them, saying, “Take time to think about yourself. You matter too. No one wants this on you.” But your peace and joy are also worth considering.”
The path forward may not be clear, but one thing is clear. It means that her mother is trying to take care of her family with all her heart and soul and with all the means she has. Whatever she decides, she should give herself grace.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers everything related to parenting, pop culture, and the entertainment industry.
