This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is in crisis, contact Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You can also text HOME to 741741 or visit: SpeakerOfSuicide.com/Resources for additional resources.
Massachusetts police officer Tyler Sutton was cautiously optimistic when his wife, Ariana, became pregnant with twins.
Ariana suffered from postpartum depression (PPD) after giving birth to her first child, daughter Melody, in 2018. According to Tyler, she said Ariana’s symptoms were so severe that she was hospitalized twice.
“I was very nervous,” Tyler said in an interview with TODAY.com. “But being a mother to her was Ariana’s favorite thing in the world, and I knew that if I was careful, the second time onwards, everything would be fine.”
Tyler points out that they had a plan. Ariana says she sees a psychologist every week, and the gynecologist knew she had a history of PPD.
Everly and Rowan were born a few weeks early on May 22nd. Nine days later, 36-year-old Ariana took her own life.
“We were both so excited to have twins. I can’t put into words how happy she was,” says Tyler. “There were no indications there was anything wrong. You never have a clue. She always jokes about her swollen ankles and how she can’t wait for a big cup of coffee.” It was.”
a voice screaming in her head
“I never dreamed this could happen. It happened so quickly and so suddenly,” he says.
Tyler said Ariana was devastated when her newborn was taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
“She started telling me to put them back in her womb. I was like, ‘Honey, they’ll be fine.’ “They came early, but they’re healthy and they have a great team watching over them around the clock,” recalls Tyler. “But I couldn’t get in touch with her. Nobody could get in touch with her.”
Tyler says he remembers a conversation he once had with Ariana. In it, she said her PPD felt like “little people living in her head.”
“That little one will drown out all the positive things people say to her, and she’ll yell at her, ‘You’re a bad mother!’ you are not working! This is your fault! It’s all your fault! ‘ says Tyler. “It was as if nothing else could be heard in that voice.”
The morning Ariana died, she pumped milk for Everly and Rowan. Tyler remembers being relieved when Ariana got out of bed.
“The hardest time for her was in the morning. It was the time when she would boil down her thoughts. As the days went on, she got better. I don’t want to, so I’m afraid to go back to sleep,” he says.
Tyler said Ariana left a suicide note.
“It was clear in her letter that she was depressed. She said she felt burdened. She was not a burden,” he says. “She just needed her help. I wish she would have waited for me to come home so I could help her.”
recognize the signs
When Ariana experienced PPD after giving birth to her first daughter, it took weeks for symptoms to develop. Tyler remembers Ariana developing “a last-minute obsession” with her cleanliness. She also started sticking to her family’s water supply.
“She was worried there was something wrong with her tap water and was calling the town water department for advice. I couldn’t throw it away,” Tyler said.
Realizing that Ariana needs help, Tyler took time off work so Ariana could focus on her mental health.
“I thought, ‘This is going to give her a chance to relax and take care of herself,’ but it backfired and made things worse.” was like, ‘He’s doing my job and I’m a bad mother,'” he says. “She used to lie on the bed and cry.”
After two hospital stays for PPD, Ariana slowly returned to her old self.
“It took months to find the right drug and the right dosage,” Tyler said.
Ariana stopped taking antidepressants when she became pregnant with twins. Tyler said she was worried that she might harm her unborn baby.
Studies have shown that the most commonly used antidepressants are safe to take during pregnancy. experts say You should discuss with your doctor what is best for you and your pregnancy.
In general, there is no need to cut back on antidepressants, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), during pregnancy. Dr. Angela Biancoan expert in maternal and child medicine at Mount Sinai Health System.
“All the data we have to advise patients is very encouraging,” Bianco previously told TODAY. “We have a significant amount of retrospective data that we believe are associated with excellent pregnancy outcomes.”
Nicole Warren An associate professor at the Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing warned that stopping SSRIs could worsen symptoms of depression.
The fact that Ariana’s symptoms appeared so quickly with twins may indicate postpartum psychosis, which affects 1 to 2 in 1,000 new mothers, experts say. He said he was sick.
“It’s the disease most commonly associated with suicide and infanticide.” Rebecca BrentA clinical psychologist with the Women’s Behavioral Health Program at Allegheny Health Networks told TODAY.com.
Postpartum psychosis usually occurs within the first two weeks after giving birth. According to Brent, this is associated with “weird thinking, cognitive confusion, distracted thinking, and a reduced need for sleep.”
Other symptoms may include seeing or hearing things that aren’t there, and delusions or false beliefs.
“Mothers may believe they are still pregnant two weeks after giving birth, but they cannot be persuaded otherwise,” Brent explains.
RELATED: Warning Signs and Resources for Postnatal Depression, Anxiety, and Psychosis
Brent says postpartum psychosis is difficult to treat because it comes and goes, making it difficult for doctors to diagnose.
“One moment she’s hearing something, and the next she’s completely conscious,” says Brent.
Tyler said she’s sharing her story in hopes that the medical community will start paying more attention to perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.
“When a new pregnant woman has her first appointment and talks to her OB, she should be learning about postpartum depression, its risks and signs,” says Tyler. “And you should keep these conversations going throughout your pregnancy.
A GoFundMe was created to help Tyler raise three young children as a single father. He has a long way to go.
“Ariana was Melody’s favorite person in the world,” Tyler told TODAY.com. “She was the picture perfect mom.”
