Loneliness takes huge toll on Long Islanders physically, emotionally

Whitney Jordan always felt alone, even when she was with family and friends.

Jordan, 34, of Huntington Station, who suffers from schizoaffective disorder with bipolar disorder, has struggled with loneliness and social isolation since he was young.

Jordan, who has four children ages 5 to 16 and receives services from the Mental Health and Wellness Association in Ronkonkoma, said, “I just didn’t feel like I belonged. “My family was throwing parties, but I wasn’t invited, and I always felt like no one wanted me by their side.” I always felt alone.”

Jordan isn’t the only one feeling lonely.

On Tuesday, US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy declared widespread loneliness a public health epidemic that poses as deadly risk to Americans as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. bottom.

Ann 81 page report A survey from Mercy’s office found that about half of all U.S. residents report experiencing loneliness. The crisis is only exacerbated during her COVID-19 pandemic, when schools, places of worship, workplaces, and most gathering spaces have closed their doors, leaving many Americans isolated and separated from their families. was. and friends.

“Loneliness is more than just a bad emotion. It harms both individual and societal health. Loneliness is associated with increased risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death.” “That prolonged loneliness can be even more detrimental than obesity.” It can be felt in the workplace and in civil society.”

Changes over 20 years ago

Research shows that Americans are spending significantly less time with family and friends than they did 20 years ago. Meanwhile, the report found that social isolation exacerbated by social media use increased by an average of one day each month.

Adam Gonzalez, a licensed clinical psychologist and founding director of the Center for Clinical Studies of the Mind and Body at Stony Brook University, said loneliness can lead to a spike in depression and suicidal thoughts.

“When people are experiencing loneliness, they may resort to unhelpful coping strategies such as alcohol use, substance use, social isolation, and even avoiding people, which can make the experience of loneliness counterintuitive. “And it can also exacerbate loneliness-related problems.”

Cathy Rosenthal, senior vice president of programs for the Huntington-based Family Service League, a social service agency that helps vulnerable Long Islanders, said she continues to see the ripple effects of virtual schooling. rice field. socially.

These problems could have tragic consequences, including a spike in suicides among Suffolk students since the pandemic, she said.

“COVID made time worse [kids] “We were spending money on devices, especially social media,” Rosenthal said. what is not true? ”

Vulnerability of the elderly at home

Loneliness, depression and isolation, according to Lisa Stern, assistant vice president of geriatric and adult services at the Family & Children’s Association, a Mineola nonprofit that helps vulnerable Long Island children, families and seniors. Among the people facing the burden of the disease are the elderly at home.

For the past eight years, FCA has run a Friendly Visiting Program. In this program, volunteers of all ages visit homebound seniors on a weekly basis. Last year, the group launched a Senior Community Assistance Program. It provides companionship for homebound seniors, technology assistance, and small stipends for low-income seniors who perform simple chores such as shopping and cooking. To date, FCA has matched approximately 20 homebound seniors with their companions through this program.

“If you need help, you can go with them to a senior center, and you can enjoy community activities with them,” said Stern, a licensed clinical social worker. Many of these older people struggle to go out, and they are also the ones who check in regularly for those who have less family and friends.”

Garden City’s Laurie Monterosso, 75, is a Friendly Visiting Program volunteer who has been visiting 93-year-old Eleanor Ciantoro’s home in East Meadow every week for the past six years.

“It’s a win-win situation,” said Monterosso. “I enjoy her company as much as she enjoys mine. We are really good friends now.”

Ciantoro, who lives alone, admitted, “Sometimes I get lonely… But we get together and have tea and cookies. I’m so happy to have her.”

Loneliness can be particularly acute for individuals with mental illness, said chief executive of the Mental Health and Welfare Association, a non-profit organization that provides programs for individuals facing chronic and serious mental illness. Director Colleen Merlo said.

“Some of the people we work with say ‘no’ to many social occasions because they either don’t have the necessary mental energy for socializing or they feel insecure about socializing. “The stigma around mental illness also creates barriers to socialization, even within families,” Merlo says. “So they tend to withdraw and say ‘no’ to an invitation, then say ‘no’ to another invitation, and then the invitations stop coming. That’s a big concern among our people. is”

Meanwhile, data show that young people are hit particularly hard by the loneliness epidemic, with individuals aged 15 to 24 reporting a 70% reduction in time spent with friends, down from about 150 minutes per day in 2003. doing. Murthy reports that in 2020 he will be down to 40 minutes a day.

Experts argue that the prevalence of social media is replacing face-to-face interactions among young people.

“In some ways, we were more connected than ever,” said Merlo, a licensed social worker. “But we lack that face-to-face, one-on-one connection. … So people can have thousands of followers on TikTok or Instagram, but they are not connecting with those people in a meaningful way.”