Ashton – Mandy Anderson says she is the most “introverted introverted introvert.”
From 4 years old, Mandy, Originally from Ashton But now he lives in Utah, fighting passive and aggressive suicidal thoughts as part of his depression.
“The greatest wish in life is to be honest and disappear,” says Anderson. “Being seen is my biggest fear. Being in front of people is one of my biggest things I avoid, like a plague.”
In December 2023, Anderson says she was in one of the lowest and darkest points when she decided to end her life, but suddenly, she had an idea.
“Thoughts came to me because of what I was thinking and where I had planned what it took to make the wings. Rather than wearing them, as a symbol like my last iconic act,” says Anderson. “I was trying to make these big, beautiful wings, but they were so clear in my mind how they looked that I couldn’t get it out of my head.”
Anderson says he rushed to the hobby lobby and bought tulle, golden leaves and wire to create beautiful, sparkly golden wings. A few days later, after desperate sewing and designing, she says she felt that she needed to share this feeling with the world.
“I felt this light, wow, I felt okay. It’s not soothed, but I want to share this light that I feel with others,” Anderson says. “I am a photographer and one way I can share the light and bring joy to others is through photography. So I took them myself, shared them, and I left them unfinished.”
From there, the unfinished Wings Dress Project was born, and evolved into Anderson, creating beautiful dresses while suffering from aggressive suicide. In the act of symbolism, the dress always remains slightly unfinished.
“All the dresses are unfinished like my wings. They are not perfect, I don’t start with the pattern or follow the instructions,” says Anderson. “It has a kind of message semicolon Some people have tattoos on their wrists, suffering from suicide. ”
Anderson says her dress symbolizes attention to the ongoing struggles of mental health issues, and wants to remind others in similar circumstances that discussions about suicide are not taboo.
“Because when you share a struggle, it’s not just going through it yet, but when it’s understood by other people going through it,” Anderson says. “Most of those people struggle with mental health in one way or another. And I feel like I’m feeling sick because you’re talking about breaking your legs or catching a cold, and they don’t talk about it openly. There’s no piece of puzzle.
Now, when Anderson feels her mental health is growing so big that she can’t stand it, she turns into fabric and sparkle.
“I’m artistic and that’s the way I like to get through really difficult times. Sometimes I draw, but sometimes it was the way photography lifts me up from a really dark time,” says Anderson. “It’s a very personal feeling, and I’m making dresses made for my body because it’s the light I’m trying to find myself inside and make it look outwardly to the world. And that’s the only way I know how to do it.”
The unfinished Wings Dress project has led Anderson to be invited to debut her designs in Geneva, Switzerland in March and France and New York later this year.
Anderson attends these events, from eight to eight children, and the prices to present her projects to the world are steep.
“As soon as they invite me, I try to find funds, but I’m an 8-year-old mother and not an actual designer,” says Anderson. “I don’t have any business. All of this just came out of my family. So (they said) there’s no need to worry, but we need to know.”
Anderson hopes to nurture enough to invigorate her projects around the world.
“I hope that some people will hear this story and feel hope and light, and they can tell the story while they are inside it, not through it, and find a way to go through the darkness and continue through the hour, another day, another day, another day, until it lights up,” says Anderson.
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