These days, Uma Oswald treats schizophrenia and autism diagnoses like any other physical ailment.
“I’ve had a lot of digestive issues lately,” explained Oswald, 26, who uses the pronoun they/them and lives in Minneapolis. My psychosis is like that: I learned my threshold for stress, so I learned to keep it manageable.”
While Oswald was completing his bachelor’s degree at the Art Institute of Chicago, they began hallucinating that trees and cicadas were sending secret messages. Around that time, they finally received the following diagnosis. schizoaffective disorderThis wasn’t the first time Oswald had a mental illness. As a high school student, Oswald began thinking obsessively about government conspiracies, hearing voices in his head, running away from school, and struggling with his suicidal thoughts.
These teenage manifestations were reflected in Oswald’s art. A haunting and disturbing self-portrait It garnered praise but caused great concern to Oswald’s parents.Oswald was evaluated by a series of doctors, but never received a definitive diagnosis. Later, after being diagnosed with a mental illness, Oswald realized that the disturbing paintings visually depicted what was going on in their minds during those dark days. In 2019, information about the portrait and its inspiration was exhibited at the University of Minnesota. Child Mental Health Translational Research Institute.
Through time and careful attention, Oswald was able to change the way she thought about mental illness. Ultimately, Oswald’s diagnosis was changed to: schizophreniaand just last year they added the following diagnostics autismbut they now see those descriptors as complex, original, and remarkable parts of themselves.
Oswald has left the arts and now works as a research support and technology access specialist at the University of Minnesota. Community Integration InstituteThey found a trusted psychiatrist and successfully antipsychoticOswald is considering pursuing a graduate degree and has just moved in with his life partner.
Some may say that Oswald recovered from mental illness, but Oswald wants to make it clear that he’s not completely satisfied with that explanation.
“I don’t like the way some organizations use the word ‘recovered’ when talking about mental illness,” they said. There may be remission periods and episodic periods, but to say that you have or can recover is a false hope to me.”
For Oswald, he feels it’s important to realize that while symptoms of mental illness can be treated and put into remission, those symptoms can recur. No need to.
“I think some mental illnesses can be situational,” said Oswald. “But some of them are handicapped and some become chronic. I’m stable now. I don’t think I’ll ever end up in a psychiatric hospital again. But I have flare-ups. They do happen.” increase.
Oswald decided that their mental health flare-ups, though disturbing at times, were just part of life. They have developed a strong relationship with their psychiatrist, Dr. Sophia Vinogradov. manager Psychiatry and Behavioral Science University of Minnesota School of Medicine — Oswald regularly gives mental health “pep talks” to assess approaches to mental illness and make medication adjustments. This medical partnership makes a world of difference I was.
Oswald said Vinogradov, whom they jokingly refer to as “my fancy doctor,” takes a human-centered approach to his work. She puts them in your charts, but she doesn’t really like to discuss it. She calls me the “poster girl”.
Oswald likes to look to addiction recovery communities for inspiration to build a life with mental illness. “Addiction is also a mental illness,” explained Oswald. “People with addictions like to say they’re addicted. recoveringno recoveredI like the concept of being recovering from mental illness. ”
Thinking about recovery this way, and recognizing that recovery can be continuous rather than finite, can help others better understand how they manage their mental health, says Oswald. Said it helped me understand.
“I paint my recovery like a triangle,” Oswald said, drawing an inverted triangle with a dot at the bottom. “There are wobbly platforms. You can fall whichever way you fall. Sometimes my life is a very balancing act. They made a plan for what to do if their mental health deteriorated and their delusions returned.
New Diagnosis, New Understanding
Over the past few years, Oswald noted that more and more friends and colleagues have asked if they have autism. when the friend asked, “Are you autistic?” They were impressed with Oswald’s focus and attention to the intricate details of the project.
On another occasion, one of Oswald’s colleagues with autism said, “One of the reasons I really like you is because you have autism too.” Oswald laughed and said they weren’t autistic. “She said she was very comfortable talking to me and that talking to people who didn’t have autism was generally difficult.” This made Oswald curious. “I asked my therapist and psychiatrist what they thought, and they said, ‘I don’t think you do.’ I was still intrigued. So I got tested.”
of autism screening It includes a 1 hour interview and a 4 hour test. Oswald recalled the examiner asking, “How would you feel if you were diagnosed with autism?” What was Oswald’s reaction? “I said, ‘I think it’s kind of a validation because what I’ve read about it makes a lot of sense in an eerie way,'” replied the examiner. . I have autism. For Oswald, a final autism diagnosis felt like being handed a list of explanations for the quirky ways they’ve always navigated the world.
One of Oswald’s recent interests is the relationship between premature birth, autism, and schizophrenia. Born at just her 25 weeks, Oswald spent the first part of her life in her NICU.Oswald recently named his 2022-23 pick for the University of Minnesota MN LEND Fellow Developed a program, mentorship with Michael Georgiev, co-director Masonic Brain Development InstituteGeorgiev helped Oswald develop a better understanding of these important connections.
“He studies premature babies,” Oswald said of Georgiev. “He explained to me that autism and schizophrenia are genetic. It’s common for them to occur together. It’s also common in people born premature. My Pregnant Baby Needs an Average of 6 Blood TransfusionsI had 11; Iron deficiency in premature infants can alter gene expression of key proteins, leading to the development of these disorders. It explains a lot about what is.”
fully formed adulthood
This new and developing understanding was an important part of Oswald’s independent adult life. have built their lives.
Last summer, when Oswald and his father were shopping for oysters at a local seafood store, Oswald spotted a cute guy working behind the counter. they remembered. “I’m not good at being sensitive. It makes sense now that I know more about autism, but it must have probably seemed weird.”
The cute guy at the seafood shop was Oswald’s current partner Corey.
“It was love at first sight,” Oswald said. “We were both kind of blown away by the wind.” Oswald wanted to get Corey’s phone number, but his father unintentionally got in the way. “Cory, she tried to ask me, ‘What is she doing on the Fourth of July? ‘” recalls Oswald. “Before I could answer, my dad popped in and said, ‘I’m not doing anything. I’m just going to stay and watch a movie. I didn’t get a chance to get his number. .
Oswald then tried calling the store. i am autistic I thought maybe you were flirting with me.” But no one answered the phone.
In an attempt to capitalize on this newfound romantic momentum, Oswald created an online dating profile. “We met Corey in less than 24 hours,” they said with a laugh.
From the beginning of their relationship, Oswald made a point of telling Cory about his experiences with mental illness. “Cory and I contracted COVID on our second date. I started.”
To deal with the crisis, Oswald Vinogradov. “we We talked about a plan. The plan was to talk to my colleagues at work and let them know what I was dealing with. Oswald said he was comfortable talking to his colleagues about his mental health and asking them to keep an eye on him if he appeared to be developing symptoms. They were always open about their diagnosis and were happy to involve others in discovering signs of relapse.
With Vinogradov’s blessing, Oswald began the long process of weaning himself from antipsychotics, powerful drugs that can cause serious side effects. It wasn’t easy. “It was terrible at first,” said Oswald. “antipsychotics are sedatives I couldn’t sleep for almost two days without them. ‘ Oswald had to quit his job to take the drug. “I slept like 20 hours.
Vinogradov also helps Oswald build confidence and a better understanding of the various symptoms of mental illness. Oswald even developed a method to explain how these symptoms manifest themselves in everyday life.
“I call my delusions ‘blips’ and ‘bleeps,'” Oswald said. “For me, blips can occur hallucinations between sleep and wakefulnessThis kind of hallucination usually lasts only a fraction of a second and is “more annoying than disturbing,” according to Oswald. A bleep, on the other hand, “is the middle ground where it becomes more chronic. Delusions can linger. Once in full swing, intervention or medication may be required.”
They contact when Oswald is experiencing a blip or bleep Vinogradov: “She said, “I know what you need to do to handle these things. I know you know what to do. I believe you can do it.” And then we make a plan.” According to Oswald, this advice and support was important and necessary to continue living an independent and healthy life while living with a serious mental illness.
Oswald understands that their lives will always be in balance, which is fine. ”
