A cardboard cutout of Niall Horan served as a muse in making “Broken by a Desire to Be Sent to Heaven,” Capaldi reveals.
From serving drinks to passengers on transatlantic flights to posing in tight lab coats for Billboard, Lewis Capaldi’s reputation as the musical joker has been hard earned. Scott’s Wit and Laughter Though his willingness to do anything for is perfectly evident in his Netflix documentary How I’m Feeling Now, Capaldi isn’t alone enough to share his Tourette syndrome diagnosis and struggle with imposter syndrome. Drop the time mask. A weighing decision. “I don’t know if you’re aware,” he said deadpan.
Either way, Capaldi went ahead with the documentary. “I didn’t think there was a story that needed to be told,” he says, but his colleagues at director Joe Perlman and Pulse Films saw it differently. The “Someone You Loved” hitmaker finally got on the ride because he imagined the movie to be like a victory lap. “I thought we were going to win,” he laughs. “But then COVID happened and they filmed me smelling my pants.”
With the world suddenly coming to a halt, Capaldi began to collapse under the pressure of producing a sophomore album that was as successful as his mega-selling debut, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent. True to form, Capaldi initially tries to laugh off the mounting anxiety in the film while tinkering with songs during lockdown in his parents’ cabin outside Whitburn, Scotland.
Surprising anecdotes about the world’s worst one-night stand (“I had a panic attack right after the climax, so my mom had to pick me up”) and unconventional pep talks from superstars (Elton John jokingly quotes Capaldi’s “Potential homo if he doesn’t overcome self-doubt”). However, the singer-songwriter’s nerves begin to manifest themselves as tics, and the film takes an unexpected turn.
“It was horrible to share,” Capaldi admits. “I’m candid and outspoken online, but usually through a very hilarious lens.” , sharing footage of physical therapy sessions, family discussions born of worry, and graphic information about side effects of medications are very different things. I chose candor.
“I have this,” he says, referring to his Tourette’s disease. I hate all unnecessary worries. The 26-year-old is now gearing up for reactions from viewers. “Every time someone receives a supportive or kind word, there will be someone who writes it down or sends it,” says Capaldi. The idea of reaching out to someone at rock bottom makes it easy.
If that sounds like therapy speaking, it’s because it is. Because of this, he has yet to win his battle with imposter syndrome. Even having back-to-back No. 1 hits in the UK with his lead single “Forget Me” and its follow-up “Pointless” can’t assuage these self-doubts. “It hasn’t changed at all,” he says Capaldi. “I can’t imagine him being in a position to think he deserves to do this.”
But progress has been made in the way he processes those emotions. “I’d probably be better off not letting it overwrite me and letting the most important thoughts in my head become negative.” is aware of “Everyone has imposter syndrome to some degree,” he says. “It’s not about me, it’s about humans.” Just as the hitmaker threatens seriousness, he said, “It makes me feel better knowing other people are suffering. is what I’m trying to say here.”
Whether or not Capaldi’s second album reaches the same commercial heights as his debut, he’s proud of a body of work that began in a hut with nothing but cardboard cutouts of Niall Horan (“He Always watching over me and I impress him”). Of his 12 songs on the record, 11 came from the lockdown sessions seen in the film. “It’s a COVID baby,” he says, detailing the creative benefits of lockdown.
“If it wasn’t for COVID, we probably would have released the record sooner,” says Capaldi. “I couldn’t make the tour so there was no rush. That’s kind of the point for me.” With extended pregnancy, “Broken by Desire to Be Heavenly Sent” is like a time capsule. will be The album concludes with “How I’m Feeling Now,” the song that inspired the title of the documentary. “It’s a very sad song,” says Capaldi. “Even a year later, I don’t feel like that at all.”
Capaldi is slowly embracing a more positive mindset, but is still unsure of what to do with her documentary reviews. “It’s different with music,” he says. “I really put my heart and soul into making this piece, but for the documentary, I just existed and was filmed. In true Capaldi style, he concludes with a self-deprecating irony.
