I don’t usually pay much attention to the world of high fashion, but the controversy that erupted at last month’s Paris Fashion Week hit home. The models strutting the catwalks were thin, some skeletally so, sparking a heated debate over the shift from body positivity to ultra-thinness. Most commentators were convinced that the culprit was Wegoby.
I felt embarrassed when I saw the models with their hip bones and collarbones sticking out. I know celebrating this aesthetic is a big step backwards for all women, but I don’t want my 9-year-old daughter to aspire to this aesthetic. But for the past five weeks, I’ve been secretly injecting myself with another drug, semaglutide, which is very similar to Wigovy. Semaglutide has been shown to cause 15 percent weight loss over a one-year period. one recent trial. It may sound contradictory, but I’m doing this because I really want to lose weight.
I haven’t told my family or close friends what I’m doing because I’m well aware that I shouldn’t. Semaglutide works by mimicking a hormone called glucagon-like peptide-1 (GLP-1), which is involved in regulating appetite and food intake. Ozempic, which is used to treat diabetes, and Wigovy (the brand name for this drug), which is used to lose weight, also slow down the stomach. empties, allowing users to feel fuller for longer. Medical experts hope they can help solve the obesity epidemic. What they definitely aren’t aimed at are people like me who don’t have an unhealthily high BMI or type 2 diabetes, but just want to drop a stone to get back to their previous “happy” weight. This was several years ago.
I had been feeling dissatisfied with my body for a long time when I started reading articles about Hollywood stars who apparently underwent transformations with Wegovy. She was between 14 and 16 years old and far from obese, but due to menopause she always felt tired and had a habit of eating sweet snacks in the afternoon when her energy levels were low. My weight was at an all-time high of over 11, and most of the nice clothes I wore had been replaced with baggy jeans and jumpers to hide my stomach.
Recently, a friend of mine has also been taking this drug. One of my friends has shrunk from a size 20 to a size 12 in the last few months. She told me that it was like flipping a switch, the constant buzzing about food in her head went away, and she could easily push the plate away after a few bites. .
Intrigued, I searched online and found forums where women were discussing how they had purchased the drug, even though it did not meet medical criteria, and were delighted with the results. I found it. I’ve read that if you take them if you’re not obese or diabetic, you run the risk of serious side effects ranging from hypoglycemia to pancreatitis and even thyroid cancer. I was undeterred. Like many women online, I was hopeful that by taking it for a short period of time, I might be able to lose weight without putting my health at serious risk.
I knew my husband would be against it. Because I think it’s foolish to inject yourself with so many new things just to lose weight without knowing the long-term effects. He sees food as fuel and never gains weight, so he doesn’t understand that I need to eat when I’m tired, hormonally affected, or feeling down.
That’s why I kept it a secret when I lied in an online survey to get a prescription for a £219 ‘pen’ containing four weekly doses starting at 0.25mg. I collect it at the store and store it in my refrigerator at work, not at home. It is wrapped tightly in a plastic bag and pushed inside. If anyone is wondering who it belongs to, I haven’t heard anything.
I had some mild nausea for the first week, but other than that I have had no side effects. So far, I’ve lost 11 pounds, which is amazing. I’m eating probably a third of what I used to eat because I get full quickly. I used to think so much about food, the snacks I wanted to eat and the guilt and disgust I felt afterwards, but now I hardly think about it. In fact, I have to force myself to buy and eat lunch. That’s because you can go without eating until mid-afternoon and still feel only mild hunger.
My husband quickly noticed that I had only eaten a small portion for dinner, but he believed me when I said I was just on a diet. I think he was relieved that I could finally work on losing weight, because I had been lamenting about my weight for so long. He’s busy and stressed at work, so it’s no wonder he doesn’t wonder how I suddenly developed the iron self-control I never had. And now I’m starting to see my old figure coming back and I’m more interested in sex. He definitely appreciates it.
Friends I’ve met over the past five weeks noticed my weight loss right away. We all consider ourselves feminists, but it was clear that they were far more impressed with my slim figure than they would have been if I had gotten the promotion. “That’s amazing!” gasped one person. “So skinny! ”For those of us who were teenagers during the Kate Moss era, I’m not sure that recent efforts to celebrate size diversity have had much of an impact. Although we have been encouraged to pretend otherwise, beauty is still synonymous with thinness.
A friend admitted she wanted to try Munjaro, a similar drug containing tirzepatide, so I confided in her about it. Even though she was thinner than me, she left even more determined to get her prescription filled. It was a relief to be honest with someone who felt the same way I did.
I lied to my other friends that I joined a gym and started a “health kick.” This is a much more culturally acceptable term than “diet,” although the meaning is the same. This is another example of how weight loss is being repackaged, but our fundamental attitudes haven’t changed. I don’t want them to know that I’m actually taking Wegovy. I think they will judge me not only for cheating on something I could have done, but also for participating in a movement that is increasingly seen as harmful.
I feel the most embarrassed when I compare my body to other girls and think about my daughter who is just starting to become aware of her own body. I want her to never look at images like models on the Paris catwalks and try to imitate such unhealthy extremes.
I’ve been very careful not to talk disparagingly about my body in front of her or mention fattening foods. Because I want her to have a healthy relationship with food. But I know that what I’m doing is against those principles.
When she noticed that I was eating less, I ignored it, but so far she doesn’t seem to be affected. But I shudder to think that she might someday inject herself with drugs in an attempt to conform to an aesthetic she doesn’t naturally have. I don’t want her to cause any damage to my body.
I promised myself I would keep going until I get down to 10th place and then do everything I can to maintain it, but I’m worried I’ll struggle without the medication. I’m on my 10th 5lb now and I’m worried that I climbed onto a treadmill that I can’t get off of. If this continues, the weight will come back and you will have to take the medication again. But I can’t deny that when I tried on my old size 12 jeans and found they fit like a glove, it felt worth it.
Amy, 47 – as told to Polly Dunbar
*Name changed
