Dear Abby: I need advice about a friend who is depressed all the time and is clinically depressed. I tried praying for her, holding her up, and encouraging her, but to no avail. At this point, I feel like she has her resolve to keep going.
I get tired of seeing her, so I may have to stay away from her for a while. I’ve known her for two years now and she’s always like this. Who doesn’t have problems? this is life. Sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are not.
She takes it personally and starts to question our friendship when I don’t call, check in, or visit. It became overwhelming for me.
Honestly, I don’t have the energy for her. I have a family to worry about.
Recently, I told her that sometimes I can be “a little too much” and that she shouldn’t take it personally if I’m not always available. I also mentioned that my focus shifted now that the kids had classes and I went back to work. She really needs advice on what to do with her. — California’s strained friendship
For those nervous: You mentioned that your friend is “clinically depressed.” Has she been diagnosed by a medical professional? If the answer to that question is yes, you should tell her that her depression has not improved after two years and that she needs to see a doctor.
If she hasn’t been officially diagnosed, guide her in that direction. That way, she will have access to medications and treatments that may help her. Don’t let her make you feel guilty and do things that are too much for you. If you continue this, your anger will only increase.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby, contact: www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
