Dear Annie,
Dear Annie: I have been married for 23 years. This is the second marriage for both of us.
My wife has a few so-called friends with whom she has bad vibes. In the first case, her friend “Carolyn” called my father a loser. I told her that, but when her wife confronted her, she denied it, and then her wife accused me of being a liar. She said Carolyn doesn’t lie. My wife doesn’t understand why I refuse to hang out with Carolyn and her husband.
Regarding my wife’s family, I have had conflicts with her two sisters. On a recent visit, her brother didn’t say anything to me when we were in the hotel room. My spouse said nothing on my behalf. Her other sister held the wedding of one of her daughters. When she saw me at her gathering, I tried to strike up a conversation and she had a hostile attitude towards me, including the father of the bride. My wife again, she didn’t say anything about it. She explained that she was who she was and that I had to accept that.
What is the best treatment in such cases?
— worried husband
To all concerned husbands: The best solution to this situation is to avoid the situation with your wife’s friend Carolyn and her sisters as much as possible. However, never try to limit the time your wife spends with her friends or her sisters. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean your wife doesn’t like them too. Just as you can decide who to spend time with, she can also decide who to spend time with.
Talk to your wife again about how your sister and Carolyn’s actions made you feel. That way, she might be able to talk it over with her sister and Carolyn so that when you guys meet again, you can treat each other with respect for her wife’s sake. There is no doubt that this whole situation has put your wife in a tough position. The wife would be happier if she could find a little more peace between her husband, friends, and family.
Dear Annie: I am responding to a letter from a woman who said she “missed my things” because her husband kept throwing away his belongings. My husband and I both have similar problems, albeit to a lesser extent. He’s a hoarder, not a hoarder, but he fills up every available space with items so we don’t have any space to use. I’m a NEET freak. Being organized can help you deal with anxiety issues. I felt suffocated by his messiness. I felt like I couldn’t function. I started experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression.
When I get angry and complain, he hears it as being grumpy. Because he thought his actions were rational. A few years into his marriage, he went to counseling and was able to express my feelings to him, and he made an effort to change his behavior.
By taking advantage of simple geography, we were able to minimize quarrels and build a mutually comfortable life. He can hoard as much stuff as he wants in the garage or the room he uses as an office, and I can clean up the rest of the house as much as I want as long as I keep his items in his office. can do. rather than throwing them away.
In fact, at first I asked for just one empty room, but little by little they made more rooms available. My suggestion for “I miss mine” is to set boundaries like this on both sides and have your husband discuss his needs.
— NEET FREAK
Dear NEET Freak: Thank you for your touching letter. This goes to show that good things can happen when you take the time to work on your marriage and come up with compromises that allow you both to be happy in your own home. Well done, congratulations.
“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” has appeared! Annie Lane’s second anthology features popular columns on marriage, infidelity, communication, and reconciliation, and is available as paperback and e-book.visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com For more information.Send your questions to Annie Lane here [email protected].
Copyright 2024 creators.com
