“Red Sevens! Red Sevens!! Come on, Red Sevens,” I yelled as I held my hand over the screen of the Blazin’ Sevens slot machine.
“Oh, too bad,” I said. All he had on the center line was one seven and a few cherries.
There is no payment for that.
I took another sip of the free water 7 and 7. I like coordinating drinks and machines. I put another $20 bill into the hopper, confident that a big payout was coming soon.
My happy place was the $1.00 slot machine bank found in almost every casino. Winning was great, but there’s also a strange sense of satisfaction when you lose. Minutes turn into hours, and before you know it, you’re wasting money and time that could have been better spent.
Addiction can turn you into a selfish bastard, and gambling addiction doubles that.
You make terrible decisions, take advantage of people, and worst of all, your humanity, empathy, and kindness disappear along with your self-esteem.
Will do almost anything to solve a problem.
My gambling addiction, while certainly true, didn’t start in the typical way. I’ve been to Las Vegas a few times and thought the slot machines, while fun, weren’t particularly appealing.
My obsession was born at Acqua Caliente Casino in Palm Springs.
I worked there for a few weeks and didn’t really get to hang out at night.
My friend Larry and I started going to Spa Casino. They had a non-smoking room and there was nothing worse than sitting in front of a machine and having to endure a chain smoker blowing smoke in my face while smoking a cigarette.
Smoking was one of the things I hated about Las Vegas.
However, we could happily spend hours in the non-smoking room and it was a lot of fun. I had so much fun that I started gambling as soon as I got my Christmas bonus.
Seventh Heaven was the first slot machine I fell in love with. Judging from the name, I thought it was a game about angels and angels, but the theme was “Foolish Fruit.” Consider Fruit Loops. But it’s more individual.
The fruit animations were very appealing, featuring quirky pears, cheerful cherries, and quirky bananas.
The first time I won a $2,000+ jackpot at Seventh Heaven, I was in, you guessed it, Seventh Heaven.
I was trying not to think about how much I wanted to go to the bathroom, but I didn’t want to give up the machine, so I created a backstory about the animated fruit.
Casinos don’t have seat savings and there’s nothing more annoying than getting up from a machine and letting the next person hit the jackpot.
When three bananas line up together but don’t line up, I call them a dysfunctional family.
I prayed that the bananas would put aside their differences and unite to win the money.
I thought oranges were grumpy and detached because I rarely got them. I once said that when you get a grape, it makes you feel like you accomplished something that day, even if you don’t win, because it’s a grape you don’t see very often.
If you play the same machine for hours on end, it’s important to train your brain so it doesn’t turn into stupid pudding.
After leaving work in Palm Springs, I drove two hours away to another local-looking casino, quickly lost money, and returned home the same afternoon.
Going to the casino with someone will make you feel more social and less hopeless. Most of my friends didn’t want to play in casinos, but Larry had a busy social life.
I needed to find a gambling buddy.
Enter Ted.
We met at a singles dance. He was instantly into it and I wasn’t, but I liked him.
The only people who can’t love him are those with a plum hole in their hearts.
He resembled a large panda. He was cuddly, cute, and had a bushy beard. The dark circles under his eyes were caused by working late shifts at the local newspaper’s printing plant.
By the second dance he couldn’t resist and asked me out.
Even standing frozen, Teddy couldn’t play it cool.
I didn’t want to be overtly rude, so I looked for something we might have in common.
He loved anything with cilantro in it. Coriander tastes like soap to me.
He was afraid of cats — I can’t live without cats.
Camping was his favorite thing in the world. I hadn’t camped since I was a Girl Scout.
I encouraged him to talk about himself, but the more he talked, the more I lost interest.
“One of my favorite things to do is go to the casino and play the slot machines,” he said.
Wait, what?
“I’m not interested in table games, just slots?” I asked excitedly.
“Yeah, I mean, 21 is fun and poker might be okay, but I don’t know. I prefer the slot machines. Sometimes I go to Cabazon and play all night.”
Now I’m interested.
It was about a 90 minute drive to Cabazon Casino, and although I had never won there, it didn’t mean I couldn’t win the first time.
So, the ninth time he asked me out, I said yes, assuming we were going to a cabazon instead of dinner or a movie.
Ted was a very kind man and loved playing slots. I could love him.
He picked me up in an old car beater, unpainted and spotty undercoated. That’s good. I never judge people by the car they drive.
“Is it okay if I stop by a check cashing office? I don’t get paid until next Friday and I don’t want to withdraw cash from my credit card.”
I knew this was a red flag, but I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he had an unexpected expense and didn’t want to interrupt the date because he didn’t have money.
He has to pay, but he wasn’t going to miss our date.
Was it very cute?
Well, it’s not cute, and it wasn’t cute when he asked if he could lend me money after I ran out of money on the Wheel of Fortune slot machine.
I won a small jackpot, so I cashed out and gave him half of my winnings.
The money I gave him didn’t last long and luckily he knew not to ask me for another loan so I went to get a credit card advance.
He would have prepaid five credit cards, but either his credit ran out or his access was cut off by his bank. Within an hour he came out tapped and was looking at me while drinking his soda.
“You’re cute when you win. and When I lost,” he said, ending my winning streak.
I didn’t want his bad luck to hurt me and he insisted on staying by my side. There was no reason to stay any longer.
I asked him for gas money and we got in his car and drove home.
When he pulled up in front of my house, he leaned in for a kiss. I moved my head a little and he placed a big, wet kiss on my jaw.
I didn’t know how to let him down easily, so after the fifth call begging for another date, I told him that I had endometriosis (the truth) and that I was too young to date. I told him that the pain was strong (which may be true).
It wasn’t until over a year later that I went to another dance. He was there, as I feared, but he found another woman as his cash machine, or love interest, so I wasn’t interested.
It’s been years since I’ve been to a casino, and I still enjoy playing the slot machines, but not enough to put me in debt or at risk of losing my home.
I don’t gamble with my finances or my heart, even in the arrogant orange row.
National Council on Problem Gambling We operate the National Problem Gambling Helpline Network. This network is a single national access point to local resources for people seeking help with gambling problems. The network is comprised of 28 contact centers providing resources and referrals to all 50 states and U.S. territories. Help is available 24/7 and your information is 100% confidential. Call 1-800-Gambler.
Christine Schoenwald I’m a writer, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She has been featured in the Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, Women’s Day, and more.
This article was originally published at: Moderate. Reprinted with permission from the author.
