Editor’s Note: This article contains references to mental illness and mental health issues. Be careful when reading. Also, note the helpful resources at the end of this article.
A content creator who claims to have been diagnosed with narcissism shares insights on a misunderstood personality disorder in a series of articles. TikTok videos.
Lilith, 24 year old woman behind the account @toxicwaste0, Share in one video Although she was officially diagnosed with narcissism in 2021, she didn’t take the diagnosis seriously until a year later. identify as being a “rebellious and codependent narcissist” with borderline personality disorder.
She explained that she had previously been told by ex-partners and mental health professionals that she might be narcissistic, but didn’t decide to examine herself until her recent breakup.
“I finally had to be honest with myself about why everything in my life was going the way it did,” she said.
Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), describes people who exhibit a pattern of needing admiration and lacking empathy. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). The etiology of this disorder is controversial. Some studies suggest that people may have a genetic predisposition, while others point to childhood developmental experiences.
This is a very serious mental disorder that is often misunderstood. In particular, the term is colloquially used to describe someone who acts arrogantly or selfishly in certain situations, so people may not take the diagnosis all that seriously.
“It’s a common misconception that to be a narcissist, you have to be unconscious,” Lilith said. in one video“Not everything I was doing magically vanished the moment I realized I was a narcissist. I was aware I was doing it.”
Getting help for NPD can be difficult. no medication prescribed To help people with NPD’s disorganized and exaggerated grandiose thought processes, it can make it difficult for them to seek help.
“I found it impossible to admit that I was not only a narcissist, but abusive in general,” Lilith said. explained On another TikTok. “As the years went on, my consciousness kept opening up to what I was doing.”
Some of Lilith’s followers support her openness, while others seem to brag about her story. is an “excuse” for continuing to “choose to be mean” to people.
“I don’t choose to be mean. I always choose not to be mean,” Lilith replied. “My immediate reaction is mean.”
popular video, Lilith was asked about the worst thing she’d done to someone mentally or physically. said.
“Everything I said or did was planned and thought out to get a response and get people to do certain things,” she added. will put you in a bad place.”
In one relationship in particular, Lilith claimed she had a man send her $150,000 over the course of the pandemic, but never in return.
“I gave him as much as he wanted, but I was really abusive most of the time,” she admitted. to have [suggestions] Cool, I loved doing it. And now I’m fed up. ”
“Girls,” wrote one commenter. “Why did you admit this?”
“I have made terrible choices in my life and my decisions have had a huge impact on other people,” Lilith replied in a comment. I speak for absolution.”
in follow upLilith elaborated on why she was so open to answering brutal questions about her shameful past. She said that even if they were humiliated, they could not be defeated.
“Obviously, talking about it is helping people,” Lilith continued. .
“I was a victim when I was young,” said Lilith. Added“I am no longer a victim after deciding to sacrifice and hurt others because of my trauma.”
Could it be Narcissistic Personality Disorder?Check it out if you think stop walking on eggshells For more information, see Coping Tips and Resources. However, do not forget to consult a specialist for diagnosis. If you think you know someone with NPD, out of the fog There is information and support for caregivers and loved ones.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness or mental health issues, National Alliance on Mental Illness At 1-800-950-6264. You can also connect with crisis text line Text the word “” to a counselor for freeHouseFor more information, please visit the NAMI website. Signs and symptoms of various mental health conditions.
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