I feared losing my children over postnatal depression

Around one in five women suffer from mental health problems during pregnancy and after giving birth, but many are afraid to ask for help because of stigma.

Hope Cawood experienced severe postnatal depression after giving birth to her second child during lockdown.

The 34-year-old, from Aberdeen, told the BBC she fears she would lose custody of her children if she sought help.

“I thought if I told the midwife how I was feeling and what I was doing, they would take my baby away from me,” she said.

Suicide is the leading cause of newborn deaths within the first year of life.

Hope suffered mental health issues after both pregnancies and struggled to bond with her children.

She said the problems began after the extremely traumatic birth of her first son.

Due to birth complications, doctors feared she might die and Hope was unable to see her baby for three days.

She was later diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and anxiety.

Although there were no complications with her second pregnancy, she fell into a deep depression after giving birth that lasted for a year.

“I felt like I was drowning and there was no way to get up,” she said.

“Deep, dark thoughts kept coming to me and I couldn’t connect with him and I didn’t know why.

“I was scared to go to sleep at night only to have to do it all again in the morning. I didn’t understand why I felt so sad when I had such a beautiful baby.”

Hope said she even screamed in her baby’s face, asking him what he wanted.

“I broke down in tears and said I wasn’t a good mother and that if I told anyone how I felt, my children would be taken away from me,” she said.

Eventually, Hope sought help from a psychiatrist and underwent cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which she says was transformative for her.

She also attended support groups where other women shared their stories.

Feeling that things were “finally falling into place”, Hope is now training to become a counsellor to help other women going through what she has been through.

“I think there are still a lot of stigmas to break and a lot of people who are afraid to speak up about how they feel,” she said.

“When you admit something like that, they feel like they’re a bad mother. I wish there was more recognition for that, but I think we’re moving in the right direction. ”

Hope wants women experiencing perinatal mental health issues to know that their feelings are normal and that help is available.

Reflecting the growing demand for mental health services and evolving evidence, Scotland’s health watchdog has published new guidelines on perinatal mental health for the first time in more than a decade.

The guidelines, produced by Healthcare Improvement Scotland (HIS), include both versions for patients and healthcare professionals, aiming to improve care and reduce stigma.

Dr Serena Gleedoware, consultant perinatal psychiatrist and co-chair of the HIS guideline development group, said mental health problems during or after pregnancy were “surprisingly common”.

“We now know that there are different difficulties that postpartum depression can go through. I think traditionally, it was much more comfortable talking about postpartum depression.”

She added: “It can be difficult to ask for help and we know many people are afraid to come forward.

“Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of stigma and fear that if you open up, you’ll be criticized or you’ll be seen as unfit to be a mother or parent.

“We hope this will help women access information, feel supported and that they can make a difference.”

The main development is a new app for patients that lists specific mental health conditions and provides links to information and support, recommendations for planning and treatments that patients can expect to receive.

Patients can leave comments and thoughts about how they are feeling, which can then be accessed later by medical professionals.

The new toolkit also includes information on mental health conditions not previously covered, such as birth trauma and borderline personality disorder.

There is also up-to-date advice on the safety of using medicines for mental health during pregnancy and breastfeeding.