Planning, booking, packing, and hitting the road is a rollercoaster of emotions for me, big and small. The planning and booking stages are usually met with a caffeine-fueled euphoria. Somewhere in my complex travel-decision calculations is a formula that takes into account everyone involved (usually myself, my husband, and our two young children, ages 5 and 7), whether we’ll all have a good time, if the time frame fits with work and school schedules, and if the destination is calling to me (don’t ask me how that last one works; it’s almost a spiritual experience).
You finally booked your trip. What could be more thrilling? You spend the days, weeks and months following the booking period basking in your accomplishment and wondering if your family realizes how lucky they are to have such a great travel planner on your side.
But as departure day approaches, around 3 a.m., things start to slowly change. You suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and start to have questions: Did you pick the right destination? What if someone gets sick? Was your flight too early? Was your connection too tight? Do you have all the gear you need?
In fact, my pre-travel anxiety has gotten worse since becoming a parent, for two reasons: (1) I now have the responsibility of caring for another human being, and (2) kids (especially little ones) get sick. a lotThe latter is key because it highlights a loss of control over the situation, which is hard for me to deal with. At least for me, control is a big factor when it comes to anxiety. The idea of waking up on the day of the flight and one of my kids might be running a fever or throwing up is sometimes a bit too much for my nerves to bear. Unfortunately, that means that in the run up to the trip, I not only feel stressed, but I also start having anxiety attacks that can result in everything from frustration and anger to being overwhelmed and in tears. So I need to calm myself down with meditation or box breathing and, ideally, get out the door with some of the hope and optimism that got me started on the trip.
It got so bad that as I stumbled across the finish line to depart my trip, I literally whispered to my distraught self, “I’m never doing this again.”
As if.
But once I set off, like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in my mental health struggles, I feel like I’m in heaven. What makes me happiest is setting off on a new adventure to explore the unknown. I love it so much that I never give up, but I also look for ways to minimize the stress and anxiety before traveling. Below are some things that have helped me:
Recognize that anxiety exists
For me, the first step to overcoming pre-travel anxiety was recognizing that it existed and better understanding its patterns and triggers. Since becoming a parent, anxiety has sneakily reared its ugly head at me, so it took me a while to realize, “Oh, I’m getting super stressed out before traveling. This is new.” But once I did, I was better able to recognize the recurring nature of these episodes and explain to my spouse what was going on (in a calmer way, rather than hysterically crying at the door).
Tidying up your home
What does cleaning the house have to do with leaving? In my anxious mind, it’s everything. If my house is messy, my mind is messy too, which makes me more and more agitated and irritable. I’ve found that taking the time to tidy up my house before I start packing is worth the effort because it reduces stress. It has the huge benefit of not having a huge mess when I get home. Before my pre-travel anxiety started to build up, cleaning and organizing my house before I left was an optional bonus activity. But now I realize it’s a non-negotiable, and I make the time to make it happen.
Start packing well in advance
Now that the house is reasonably clean, it’s time to start packing. Rushing to get packing and other to-dos done in time for departure (I’m an early-to-airport kind of guy) only adds to pre-trip anxiety, because it takes longer than you think. If you rush or have to do too much at once, you’ll feel overwhelmed. That’s why I try to get my suitcase out at least a week or two in advance and start packing little by little. This helps reduce last-minute stress.
Although packing lists for myself and my kids are now ingrained in my mind, I do keep an ongoing list of things in my notes app to make sure I don’t forget everything. I especially rely on it for more involved trips, like longer international trips or trips to hot or cold places that require things I don’t normally pack like water or snow gear. I don’t use lists on every trip, but they’re there when I need them or feel overwhelmed.
I also take advantage of laundry day about a week before my trip to sort all of my clean clothes directly into my luggage. Instead of putting those clothes away and bringing them out again, I fold them and put them in my suitcase. If I’m road tripping, the same goes for any gear or dry foods I plan to bring. I add my gear to the back of my minivan (aka the world’s best travel car), and pack sandwich bread, peanut butter, spaghetti, and sauces in a Yeti cooler bag a few days before I leave (don’t ask me why I use a cooler bag for dry foods…progress, not perfection, right?).
Accept the worst-case scenario
One thing that has stressed me out before a trip, especially in the last few years, is the mental struggle with the “worst case scenario.” In my mind, it’s usually medical – an unexpected illness or injury before or during the trip that ruins the whole trip. But like many other fears, there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about it (this is a hypothetical future scenario!).
So instead of resisting the spiral, I choose to embrace it. I let the “what if” thought process carry me to the end zone. Maybe one of the kids will do You wake up with a terrible fever. You can’t make the plane. Now, what do you do? Well, you have no choice but to cancel or postpone the flight and hotel. You might lose money. Maybe a lot of money. Well, you have a credit card with some coverage, and you have travel insurance (I don’t get travel insurance for simple road trips and the like, but I do when I’m buying expensive round trip tickets four times for domestic and international trips). What you can recover from, you will recover from. So what? No big deal. Life goes on.
I do this practice whenever any fear or anxiety arises. It’s much more effective than trying to suppress the worry, which lurks in the back of my mind and makes me feel anxious. It allows me to regain some control in the face of anxious thoughts that might go wrong, because we all know that the things we think might go wrong, actually don’t. actually Sometimes things go wrong (but that’s another worry).
Pack your anxiety-relief toolkit
Whatever worries you have about traveling, I like to think about what you can have on hand to tackle those issues head-on while you’re on the road. I always keep health issues top of mind, since that’s the root of my recent pre-travel anxiety, but this hack can be applied to other anxiety-inducing concerns as well. Packing a thermometer (which is Braun non-contact thermometerI pack some children’s Tylenol (my go-to for years) in my carry-on, along with a plastic bag in case someone gets sick, so I feel a little less helpless if a health issue crops up while I’m traveling.
If you’re worried about connectivity at your destination, bringing an old-fashioned foldout map might be all you need to have the peace of mind that you’ll be able to get around if you lose access to Google Maps (horrifying). To find a road map, head to your nearest AAA office and they’ll help you. If you’re worried about getting enough sleep, bringing a sleep mask, noise-canceling headphones, and a good travel pillow can help you trust that you’ll find a way to settle into snooze mode.
I think having these tools with you can at least reduce some of the stress. It’s like a security blanket that helps ease travel anxiety. (I also think bringing an umbrella can bring you luck. We all know the idea of bringing an umbrella to keep the rain off.)
Embrace the Pitfalls
Oddly enough, I found that things do (Sometimes) we get lost and then the worst happens (surprise!). do On my last night in Mexico, the day before flying home, I twisted my ankle. do Missing a flight connection. Travel has the incredible power to teach us who we are as people. And when things go wrong, we can look back and say, “Oh, we made it through. We can get through almost anything.” I always tell my kids that traveling teaches us how to problem-solve in situations we wouldn’t experience at home, and that’s a big part of why traveling is so fun and exciting. In the end, those difficult moments help them hold on to the knowledge that the trip was really worth it in the end, and help them understand their ongoing struggle with anxiety.
