Thema Bryant’s list of professional accomplishments is undeniably impressive.
As of 2023, she serves as president of the American Psychological Association. Bryant is also a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and directs the Institute for Culture and Trauma.
Prior to that, she was the coordinator of the SHARE program at Princeton University, providing programming and support to combat sexual assault and harassment.
Prior to that, she received a PhD in clinical psychology from Duke University and postdoctoral training at Harvard Medical Center.
But it’s not just her professional accomplishments that bring her joy.
She also loves dancing. She listens and writes spoken word poetry. And at least every other week, she makes time to call her best friend of 30 years across the country.
“It’s time to let go of a false dichotomy, or wrong choice. We believe that to be successful, you have to let go of yourself,” she says.
CNBC Make It spoke to Bryant about the importance of balancing productivity and mental health with maintaining close friendships, and how to do it.
Interviews have been edited for clarity and brevity.
“Productivity is not always an indicator of your wholeness or emotional health.”
Aditi Shrikant, CNBC What are some common misconceptions people have about maintaining mental health?
Bryant: A common misconception is that people think that if they stop thinking, they will get over it. Suppression doesn’t really work. I think people pick that up and say, ‘I’m done, I don’t want to talk,’ because it works in the short term. But if you go through a difficult life experience and avoid it, they will manifest themselves in a different way.
It can show up and affect our sleep.It can show up in our parenting. Avoidance is not the same as healing.
A second misconception is that “busy” or “productive” is the same thing as “healed” or “healthy” or “wholesome.” Many people fall for this because they associate being unsuccessful with depression and being unable to get out of bed.
But for others, it allows them to immerse themselves in their work. They may be workaholics or perfectionists. They always feel like they have something to prove, but they are never satisfied enough.
Your business and productivity aren’t always indicators of your wholeness or emotional health.
“You want to be intentional. Success requires longevity.”
Shrikant: At the same time, being productive at work is important and necessary. How do you balance professional excellence with mental health care?
Bryant: Think in terms of longevity and your own sustainability. The urge to save more and get promoted can make us not pay attention to our future selves.
Burnout setup. It’s our own body set up to fail us.
Not only do I hope for the temporary success of pulling up an all-nighter tomorrow to submit this amazing report, but I want to act deliberately. Success requires longevity.
The urge to save more and get promoted can make us not pay attention to our future selves.
please think about it. “How can I create a pace that allows me to maintain a life where I’ve given up all my time, energy, and focus? Where I’ve neglected my health and relationships.” am”.
For some people, I’d like to name this not even the pursuit of luxury.
Even if you’re a bogged down person, you depend on you and you have a family that depends on you and when you fall into a pit, it doesn’t work in the long run. Finding a way or a short way is important.
Shrikant: What are some examples of simple rituals anyone can do?
Bryant: It’s as easy as when you wake up in the morning. Try to wake up before you have to.
If you set your alarm for when you need to get out of bed, you’ve already started an anxious day. Take a few minutes in the morning to decide what to do with your morning ritual.
It could be a podcast. Maybe it means I wake up and take a long shower.
Another thing that is often overlooked is community care.
Having healthy friendships, healthy relationships, and healthy connections with family and co-workers helps us and reminds us that we are alive and that we are not just robots, objects, or workers. I will give it to you.
It can breathe life into our lives and bring love and care into our lives.
“When it comes to friendship, you can think of quality over quantity.”
Shrikant: Friendships are often relationships that get lost when people start having children or need to take care of aging parents.
Bryant: For busy and responsible people, when it comes to friendships, you can think of quality over quantity.
I may have passed a stage in life where I can talk to you on the phone for hours while watching TV. When it is real, mutual and transparent.
Feeling recognized, accepted, and cared for by someone is very healing. Much of your life has you playing and fitting in different roles. Exhalation.
When you’re with someone you feel at home with, it’s a gift to our nervous system.
Also, tell the person what your time limit is. I think there are times when we make assumptions and don’t communicate. That’s when friendships can fail because the person thinks you’re done with them or you don’t really care.
My best friends are all over the country. She lives in Philadelphia and I live in Los Angeles. We don’t go somewhere together every week, but it’s very nourishing when we talk.
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