Dear Abby: My coworker and I have a mutual friendship with someone who lives in another city. She is a beautiful person with an enormous heart. She escaped an abusive relationship and is now a single mother raising a child with disabilities. She is also extremely isolated because of the abuse she experienced.
We’ve all been friends for almost a year now and have been out on the town a few times, but I’d never seen my coworker’s place until recently. It was horrible. There was trash and dirty dishes everywhere, food was left lying around, and a strong smell remained on people’s clothes after they left. I’m not in a position to judge, as I know there is always another side to everything, but it was definitely the worst situation I’ve ever seen.
I’ve spoken to a mutual friend/coworker. We’re both keen to help out in any way we can. Given the current state of disrepair in our home, we feel it would be easier to pay a cleaning crew to come out than to deal with it ourselves. How should we approach this conversation without making the other person uncomfortable? — Concerned Coworker in Michigan
To those who are concerned: You are right to be concerned. It is not healthy for children to live in the type of home you describe. This is a tricky issue, but you and your mutual friend should speak to the coworker directly and privately, and volunteer staff to help deal with what is clearly out of control.
***
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jean Phillips) and launched by her mother, Pauline Phillips. To contact Dear Abby, please contact us at Dear Abbey or write to PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
