Mental illness casts a long shadow in this blended family.
A teenage girl’s stepfather constantly talks bad about her mentally ill father.
But when she was diagnosed with her own illness, mental health conditionshe must navigate a dangerous sea of family members who begin to demonize both her and her beloved father.
Keep reading this story.
My (16 year old) mother has been married to her husband for 7 years.
My father lived apart from me for about the same number of years as me.
But even before my mom and “Ted” got married, he wasn’t a big part of my life.
You see, my father is mentally ill.
Although her father has gone through a tough time, she still feels love for him.
There is such a family history on his side of my family.
He has a bad personality and is incapable of being a good father or someone you can really trust.
The last thing I remember about him is that he couldn’t really take care of himself.
But, and this is a big thing, I still love him and have some fond memories of him.
Her father-in-law was a good enough man, she thought.
Whether Ted as a stepfather (I call him my mother’s husband) deserves better recognition depends on your overall perspective.
He adopted me, called me his daughter, tried to spend time with me, offered to adopt me, and offered to support me into the future.
She doesn’t really like how her stepfather talks about her biological father.
I said no to adoption and was not at all swayed by the long-term incentives offered.
The reason is that he often speaks badly about my father.
I also have issues with my mom because she allows him.
But the focus of my post is on Ted and his relatives.
Ted always tries to make his biological father the bad guy.
Ted is always quick to remind me that my dad chose his illness over me.
He has never paid child support and has a large amount of child support debt.
He made me stop looking at pictures of my father and his family and told me that he was a better father and that his family was a better family.
Ted’s other family members are also growing.
Ted’s family repeats this to me often.
Every time I see them, Ted can’t leave, Ted takes a step forward, and I’m reminded that Ted isn’t the “crazy waste of life” they call my father.
But the teenager still feels connected to her biological father in many ways.
Last year, it was revealed that I inherited a gene for mental illness.
My mental illness is OCD. Because of that, I became really unwell.
A part of me always knew I was different.
I had strict rules about things most people don’t think twice about, like making the bed, writing, bathing, and showering.
I also became very anxious if I didn’t fit in with the books and video games in my school binders and bookshelves.
Her parents noticed, but believed they could handle it better than her father.
My mom and Ted saw it too, but my mom didn’t want to believe I could get sick, and Ted believed he could use his influence to prevent it.
A crisis earlier this year proved everything wrong and I received a diagnosis.
My condition was so bad that I was hospitalized for a while.
Then Ted’s family started talking about her the same way they talked about her father.
When I got home and Ted was alone with me or with my half-brothers, I would hear his family talk about me in ways that made me very uncomfortable. .
They said that rejecting him would make me feel worse because I would be closer to Dad than Ted.
Ted’s parents wanted to have a big family dinner yesterday, and they kept asking me to be there.
Directly from them and from Ted and my mom.
So she knew she didn’t fit in there and started avoiding them.
I chose not to go and said I couldn’t get off the planner now. That’s true.
But I knew I couldn’t be near them.
Ted and her mother were not at all happy about this.
My mom and Ted weren’t happy, so they said it was okay for me to use the planner to visit my grandparents (my mom’s parents), three uncles, and cousins.
They told me I was being completely unfair to Ted’s family by not showing up to them and treating them as if we weren’t family.
Ita?
Why did she become the bad guy?
I’m sure Reddit has their opinions.
Why would people go to a dinner where they know everyone there is looking down on them?
This redditor suspects the family was planning to ambush the boy.
Ted has to significantly adjust his expectations when it comes to mental illness.
It’s clear to this commenter that Ted and his family are acting erratically, and her mother needs to do something about it.
The weight of my father-in-law’s expectations felt like it was crushing me.
Because these teens are quick learners, family ties can feel more like a hindrance than a support.
If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught school administrators a lesson after having a sick child take a final exam.
