Have we misunderstood narcissists? | The Independent

tO’Day, everyone and their mother are narcissists. Anyway, that’s a general consensus on social media. But even the slightest fears are responding to texts, arriving 10 minutes late, and wearing strange socks. -Sufficient to diagnose people with controversial and potentially dangerous personalities.

You might think I’m hyperbolic, but I’m not. Watch the video on Tiktok and Instagram videos Rittany listing “signs that the person you’re dating may be a narcissist.” The short forays show me symptoms such as “he’s mad when people criticise him” (social media narcissists are almost always male).

Please don’t get me wrong. Combined with other behavioral aspects, some of these may contribute to a narcissistic profile. But in short, in many cases of less than 30 seconds, consuming them does not provide the context and nuances needed to actually understand what constitutes narcissism. And while some of these videos have been edited by legitimate psychologists who want to help victims of narcissistic abuse, they identify what’s going on with them (personal disorders, including narcissistic personality disorders, have not been diagnosed badly), the majority are click-hungry Charlatans looking for the next virus hit.

Despite this obsession with narcissism, we may not understand it. This possibility has been crystallized by recent studies that have revealed symptoms of narcissism that have been largely undiscussed. A report published last week by the American Psychological Association (APA) found that narcissists are more likely to feel exiled than others. Research published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychologycompiled after analyzing data from the German socioeconomic panel. This is a long-term, nationally representative survey of approximately 22,000 households in Germany.

Researchers answered questions about narcissism and expulsion in 2015, zoned to 1,592 individuals who found that people with high levels of narcissism reported experiencing so many expulsions. “Excreted sensations are subjective experiences based on the individual’s perception of social cues,” says Christian Buttner, PhD, the lead author of the University of Basel. “Some people are deliberately expelled, while others simply believe they are excluded when they are not. Our findings suggest that individuals with a higher level of narcissism are more sensitive to exclusion cues and lead them to more frequent recognition of expulsion.”

It makes sense given what narcissism is indeed and how it goes beyond the normal meaning of pride, arrogance, and self-obsession. The APA states that around 1-2% of the US population have narcissistic personality disorder, which defines it as “a broad pattern of grandeur (a sense of fantasy or behavioral superiority), the need for praise, and the lack of empathy that arises from early adulthood in various contexts.” These people may have a sense of qualification, indicating that they need a lack of empathy and excessive praise.

Clearly they are nightmares so far, so it’s understand why so many social media videos stick to “warning signs” that their partner may be a narcissist. However, this latest research shows something else most videos recognize. This means that narcissists always believe themselves as victims. The perception of being expelled comes from the above mentioned advantage. “If my friends haven’t responded to me, that means they’re intentionally excluding me.” In fact, they’re probably busy and having no response probably has nothing to do with you. However, the narcissist doesn’t grasp this. Because, simply put, their grandeur puts them at the heart of all other decision-making processes.

The problem with misunderstanding narcissism is that it removes actual narcissists from the hook. As the old saying goes: If everyone is a narcissist, then whoever? Particularly in the context of romantic relationships, pathologizing ourselves and others only hinders us. Perhaps we also risk confusing clinical narcissism with the narcissistic society in which we all operate. There is no denying that we are more selfish than ever. Instagram is acting like a reality TV star, whether we are influencers or engineers. It doesn’t help that we were rewarded for it. Building personal brands is now an integral part of many businesses outside of social media. However, this inevitably nurtured the culture. We may not all be narcissists, but we certainly live in a world of narcissism in nature.

By placing labels on people who irritate us, we can understand the fixation we have. Giving something a recognized name and definition helps us to validate our own emotions and experiences. But we have made too many leaps and are hindering our social and romantic life. For example, a friend recently said he had stopped inviting another friend to dinner because he is a “realistic narcissist.” When I asked why she thought of this, her only justification was that he was truly ambitious and always talked about his career goals.

Annoying someone can’t make them narcissists. Perhaps it’s time to take people off the hook a bit and show a little more compassion rather than always being so fiercely judged. We may correctly characterize certain people as narcissists, but statistically, we could mostly make it wrong. The worst thing about it is that whether it’s a friend, partner or not, it may not be possible to find and deal with the actual clinical narcissist.