If you’re afraid of speaking in public, don’t worry. You are not alone.
It is estimated that up to 75% of the population shares the condition officially known as glossophobia.
And the anxiety that comes with public speaking can be even worse for someone who has suffered from panic attacks all their life.
Therefore, making a living as an on-camera reporter doesn’t seem like the wisest career path.
But that’s exactly what ABC News’ chief national correspondent Matt Gutman, who currently covers Israeli-Hamas war zones, details in his just-released book. That’s what I’ve been doing ever since. “No Time to Panic: How I Controlled My Anxiety and Overcame a Lifetime of Panic Attacks.”
Earlier this month, the 45-year-old reporter, who has worked for ABC News since 2008, told “Inside Edition” that he had suffered hundreds of panic attacks over the years on the air.
“I’ve swallowed, gurgled, and choked so many times that I can no longer physically remember how to swallow. I call it the brave coward’s paradox,” he said. explained. “How can someone go to a combat zone, swim with sharks, and be afraid to stand in front of a camera and say what needs to be said?” he explained.
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TV career hit rock bottom after ‘horrible’ on-air mistake
After decades of suffering in silence, Gutman reached the lowest point in his professional life at the exact moment he decided he couldn’t take it anymore. While reporting on the January 2020 helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant, Bryant’s 13-year-old daughter Gianna and seven other people were on board.
While suffering a panic attack during a live shoot, he misstated the facts and reported that all four of Bryant’s daughters were on the plane at the time of the crash.
The circumstances of this story brought to the surface pain that Gutman had suppressed for years.
He told Chicago affiliate ABC-7’s Eyewitness News while promoting the book. At that time, something else was going on in my head. Coincidentally, Kobe was about the same age my father was when he died in a plane crash. And I was the same age as Gianna,” he said, “Throughout my career I’ve been good at compartmentalizing hard things and keeping them away. I think I made a terrible mistake, and I regret it, and I ended up being suspended for a month.”
Actual calculation of panic disorder
After admitting the truth to himself, Gutman reevaluated his position in life.
“Over the nearly two decades I’ve worked at ABC News, I’ve cultivated the image of a reporter who emerges from the wreckage of a disaster with a story and casually kicks the dust off,” he wrote. “That cheerful, fearless public figure has hidden a secret battle with panic disorder for over 20 years. Ironically, when exposed to real-world chaos and danger, I soar. Live Shots I ended up crashing when I was expected to give such a calm performance. A TV reporter whose biggest fear is delivering a live report is like a free solo climber with a fear of heights. . So I desperately hid my Achilles heel from my friends and colleagues.”
An estimated 85 million Americans (over 28% of the population) will suffer from panic attacks in their lifetime.
Gutman’s first step was to look for a panic attack support group, but found that none existed.
And from then on, he started using his reporting skills to thoroughly research the subject and talk to experts.
“It took me years to realize that what I had long dismissed as ‘just nerves’ was actually a symptom of panic disorder,” he writes. “It wasn’t until recently that I started seriously working on this issue with my new psychiatrist, even though I didn’t realize the full extent of the shadow my panic was having on me. I tried everything from ADHD medications to benzos like Xanax to anti-epileptic drugs. I practiced mindfulness and meditation regularly. I ate well and exercised.”
However, Gutman found that the more he tried traditional medical approaches, which did not yield fully satisfactory results, the more he became curious about alternatives.
So he utilized a less conventional treatment protocol. These included ketamine-assisted therapy, holotropic breathing, Reiki, and the supervised ingestion of hallucinogens and toad venom.
He writes of his reasons for seeking alternative treatments: I became a human experiment subject. ”
In writing about his quest for healing, Gutman emphasizes that his journey was “neither pre-planned nor scientifically conducted.” My path was not a direct one and definitely not one that could be imitated. ”
But what he really hopes fellow panic attack sufferers take away from his book is that “panic is not easy to overcome or even manage.” Sometimes it feels like a medieval punishment. But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence. ”
