As parenting norms change, older generations are slowly but surely learning that it's not okay to comment on parenting.
I wish that understanding extended to baby names, because that's one area where people still feel entitled to share their opinions over and over again. And for one couple, it left them slack-jawed and furious.
New moms and dads are surprised by their family's relentless reaction to their baby's name.
Indeed, there are a lot of strange baby names out there, and they are choices that invite other people's opinions, or at least their surprise. Of course, that doesn't mean it's OK or polite to give it that name, but still…people will comment if you name your baby something that's really out there.
However, this couple's story is not that kind of story.
“My baby was just born this week,” the mother wrote In her Reddit post. “We were still in the hospital when we announced her name, and I had the same reaction that a normal, sensible person would have when hearing a baby's name ('What a lovely name!' ”) because it would be insane to say anything different”, right? “
right! But that didn't stop her husband's family from going off the rails about her baby's name 'Rosa'. Which is…a totally normal name?! Maybe not necessarily common anymore, but still. That's a classic name! Little Rosa!
But the reaction of her father's family makes you think he named her after an evil dictator, a curse word, a piece of furniture, or something. They really went off the rails.
As soon as the family talked about the baby's name, they started suggesting other options and asking for changes.
Now, personally, if a family member told me their baby's name and I didn't like it, I'd just pretend like a normal person. That's just me though. This man's family chose a different approach. This is what we politely call “extremely committed integrity.” It's like a malfunction.
“My husband is texting the family group chat,” the mother wrote. “His mother said, 'No, I don't really like that name. I much prefer Violet, but what does she think about that?'” We were stunned. ” Most of us probably do.
“I just can't imagine being a family member knowing the name of your newborn and thinking you should have made your opinion known,” the mother said, adding that her husband was “devastated” by the criticism and that “our Instead of asking for opinions,” he continued. “The first moments with our daughter were marred by this comment,” she said, completely ignoring her mother.
It didn't work. His mother kept calling relentlessly. His sister then joined in, and she messaged him with “some alternatives she likes.” Her husband's mother even asked what her mother's family thought about the name, and when told that they liked the name, she said, “They must not have good taste. Nobody likes it here.” “There's no one. No one,” he answered.
The birth of a baby is an emotional time, and no one needs to hear a family's insensitive reactions to the baby's name or anything else.
It goes without saying that while the baby's mother is recovering in the hospital, it's not the right time to criticize her parenting choices. Frankly, there's never a right time, but I can't think of a worse time than right after giving birth.
For this mother, things were even more serious. Her baby had to be admitted to the NICU and required a blood transfusion due to significant blood loss during her delivery. Meanwhile, her in-laws have announced that they want to fight over her baby's name!?
On a purely medical, if not psychological or emotional, level, childbirth is a traumatic event. At worst, a woman's body is torn apart in some way, and at worst, she suffers as she recovers from deadly complications.
And emotionally, giving birth is a big mess. Everything from hormones like progesterone to a woman's thyroid chemicals can zigzag after giving birth, causing all sorts of emotional effects. That was before I got into postpartum depression, anxiety, etc.
Long story short, please leave new moms alone! As one Redditor put it, this woman's mother-in-law “has already given her children her name, so her opinion…is what is wanted or needed.” is zero percent.”
This may sound a bit harsh, but new parents need support after having a baby, even if it's just in the form of giving them space. And the name will not change anything about how much the baby will love it.
Focus on what's important, like taking care of your bus. That is, the love you feel for the new bundle of joy in your family.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer covering topics related to pop culture, social justice, and the good of humanity.
