Expert reveals the six things mentally tough people have in common- and what you can tell yourself to be more successful

The secret to living a successful and happy life is the ability to pick yourself up when life throws you a setback.

It’s a theory coined by Scott Mautz, a motivational speaker and former Procter & Gamble executive who recently wrote a book arguing that the most successful people are the most mentally tough — those who can control their emotions and thus their thoughts and actions.

Mautz has spent 30 years studying how leaders become mentally tougher and has found that they rely on six core elements: self-confidence, fortitude, boldness, decision-making, goal focus and messaging.

In addition to these elements, Mautz says there are six phrases you can say to yourself every day to strengthen your subconscious mind, build mental toughness, and prepare you for the challenge, just like a weightlifter does with daily repetition.

First, if you’re not sure, Mr. Mautz I have written Mentally strong people often use the phrase “I am enough,” CNBC said.

Confidence can be elusive, but according to the Learning and Performance Institute, people who report high levels of self-confidence tend to fare better both professionally and personally than those who lack self-confidence.

Confident people earn an average of $28,000 more per year than their less confident counterparts. 2008 Study It contained data on over 12,000 men.

Instead of focusing on what makes you different and your perceived weaknesses, start believing that what makes you unique will actually drive your success.

Mautz writes, “The only comparison that really matters is between who you are today and who you were yesterday. The only question that really matters is whether you are improving.”

Perseverance is a measure of how well you can endure pain and adversity, and is the second pillar of mentally tough leaders. A phrase Mautz recommends to increase perseverance when faced with difficult situations is, “What possibilities does this setback present?”

By reframing setbacks as opportunities, you can trick your brain into thinking you can solve the problem, even when it would be easier to accept defeat.

For example, if your boss reprimands you for missing a deadline, you might naturally feel angry. However, you can view such a conflict as a learning opportunity. By learning what not to do in the future, you can improve your overall performance as a worker.

Next to resilience, Mautz said mentally strong people also have a bold side, which he says best: “Do I allow myself to dream big?”

If the answer to that question is no, then think more ambitious and consider setting career and personal goals that look five or ten years ahead.

Believing that an ambitious goal is possible is a crucial first step to actually achieving it, Mautz said.

“You have to believe that you’re allowed to dream big, that big things can happen to people like you,” the CNBC contributor wrote.

Next, he recommended honing your decision-making skills. To succeed in this area, mentally strong people often ask themselves, “What is the cost of not making a decision?” In other words, not making a decision.

According to psychologist Doctor of the Year, indecisiveness can be a sign of underlying issues like low self-esteem, fear of failure, and anxiety. Martin Self and Sally WinstonThey operate private practices in Connecticut and Maryland, respectively.

Overthinking a decision can cause you to miss out on opportunities, get yourself into a bad situation, get left behind by your peers, or disappoint your loved ones, write Self and Winston.

If you have difficulty making decisions, you may be less successful in your professional and personal life and less resilient to challenges that arise in either environment.

Keeping these interests in mind helps us remember the importance of efficient decision-making and helps us avoid getting bogged down in details that can lead to indecisiveness.

Mautz then said that mentally strong people have a realistic view of what they can and can’t control.

When you waste your precious mental energy worrying about factors outside of your control, you can’t give your all to the task at hand.

To strengthen this character trait, you can ask yourself, “Am I controlling the controllable?”

For example, worrying about the weather for an upcoming event you have planned won’t do you any good since you can’t control how nature behaves.

But if you take other factors into consideration, like ordering an umbrella or a fan, you can be prepared for any situation.

Finally, Mautz’s final recommendation is to reframe the hard work of everyday life as something to be grateful for. Telling yourself, “I don’t have to do this. I can do it,” will help you develop mental toughness.

“This one-word remark can help you feel grateful and reinvigorated when work obligations start to wear you down,” Mautz wrote in CNBC.

If you feel more positive about the task set before you, you are more likely to carry out that task with enthusiasm and effectively.