Posted on February 22, 2023 by Athena Scalzi
Back in November, My dad and I started working out together at Planet Fitness. My goal at the time was for him to lose 20 pounds by March. Given the timeframe, it seemed realistic and achievable.
Unfortunately that didn’t happen. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve gained weight since then.
About a month after I started going to the gym, I caught COVID for the third time. Obviously, I didn’t go to the gym during my illness. Even after being negative and symptom-free, I still needed rest and recovery. and kicked my butt worse than COVID.
It’s been a week since March and I haven’t been to the gym basically since the beginning of December.
Why was March my goal? To be honest, on the JoCo cruise he wanted to be under £200. Given that the JoCo Cruise attendees are the nicest, most understanding and most non-judgmental people ever, especially when it comes to what someone looks like, it’s hard to see why at this point. I don’t think people on boats care if I’m 195 or 215. A few things come to my mind about “beach bodies”, intentionally losing weight for travel, eating less before vacation and technically “allowing” you to pig out on vacation. I think there is a deep-rooted idea of
Appearance reasons aside, I need a new dress, shorts, t-shirt, etc. to get on the boat, partly because last year’s clothes don’t suit me anymore. was So now I have to go shopping not because I actually want to but because I need bigger clothes, which makes me feel bad.
In general, I try not to talk too much about my weight and body type. My brain is filled with constant thoughts about food, weight, body and diet. And honestly, I don’t want it to sound like I’m having a pity party all the time, so I don’t talk about it too much. Hmm. Even this post feels like I’m making excuses for why I look the way I look.
Isn’t that why everyone talks about their weight? Explaining all the reasons why they’ve put on 20 pounds or making people say, “You’re not fat!” I can’t I Do it.
Talking about my diet feels like it’s just a window into my psychotic home. Am I Addicted to Sugar? Do you binge eat because eating is the only thing you enjoy?
As you can see, once you start talking, you end up in a spiral. So I try not to. But knowing that much of my body is visible on the boat fills me with a certain kind of dread. I think we just wanted to talk about it.
Just like at summer camp, I wanted to wear jeans and a hoodie for the entire cruise, even though it was 80 degrees outside. But I’m not going to do that to myself. We wear shorts, dresses and bathing suits and enjoy the sun, water and as much food as we want.
-AMS
