When most people think of a narcissist, they think of a horrible person who is self-centered and lacks empathy. However, this is a genuine mental disorder that is more than just an intolerable personality trait, and in some cases narcissism may even have some benefits.
“Not all inconveniences are traumatic, not all difficult people are narcissists, and not all concentration problems are ADHD.”
Clinically speaking, narcissistic personality disorder is a “pattern of grandiosity, desire for admiration, and lack of empathy.” according to To the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Psychologists and armchair critics alike enjoy warning the public about narcissists in the mix. This can be seen in the realm of politics, from Donald Trump’s refusal to concede in the 2020 presidential election, to the realm of popular culture, such as the infamous libel trials involving actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Most people have experienced a bad narcissist, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or someone at work.
Certainly no medical professional would defend narcissistic behavior such as violent outbursts, malicious deception, or angry refusal to admit defeat. At the same time, some experts have observed that some narcissistic traits can be healthy. To understand why, we have to start by understanding that narcissism does not mean that a person is completely incapable of caring about how others perceive them. If we define “good people” as “caring about others,” then narcissists can be good people to some extent.
“‘Psychopath’ is a clinical term that refers to a person who lacks remorse or who has a callous, calculating interpersonal style and abuses interpersonal relationships,” he says. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology. “They tend toward exploitative, parasitic lifestyles. But the big thing about psychopaths is, again, there’s a very ruthlessly calculated part to everything. There is a willingness to use others for their own ends, and we often see this tendency completely and completely without anxiety.”
In contrast, narcissists “care about what looks good to the world. Antisocial personalities aren’t driven by that. As a result, they violate social norms and rules. They “Relationships with men are characterized by a lot of betrayal, and they also tend to be much more reactive and impatient,” Durvasula said.
Narcissists are not defined by these types of behaviors. Dr. Hannah AlderetteThe doctor, who specializes in narcissism among other mental illnesses, explained why.
“Given that narcissistic personality traits are innate within all of us, they are definitely healthy and can help us take action to improve ourselves,” says Alderete. says. “Most of us wouldn’t be able to get out of bed without a healthy dose of narcissism.”
Narcissist traits are only harmful if they are fixed and rigid. Balanced by self-awareness, the ability to change, and a humble attitude that expresses compassion for others, Alderete says, “you stay within the realm of health.”
Lecturer at Harvard Medical School Dr. Craig MalkinThe clinical psychologist and author told Salon that “narcissism” itself is not an official diagnosis, and has never been an official diagnosis, but rather “a term commonly referred to as “self-enhancement” or “impulse.” He said that it is a “trait” defined as a “pervasive human tendency.” To feel special, to stand out in some way from the approximately 8 billion other people on the planet. ”
Happy, healthy people don’t usually feel average or boring, whether that’s true or not, so it makes sense that some degree of narcissism can be healthy. . If people are happier and live longer as a result, why do they feel exceptional and unique and persist in their ambitious plans despite repeated failures?
“This moderate amount of self-enhancement is healthy narcissism,” Malkin says. “It’s not about self-confidence or self-esteem or self-love. Instead, think of it as slightly rose-colored glasses on yourself (the world and your future). It’s at the heart of all narcissism, and in moderation, it’s perfectly healthy. ”
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“I saw a post about Hitler being a narcissist. Dare I say that was the least of his problems.”
Narcissism is not only healthy for individuals in small doses; It can only benefit the entire human civilization.
“Society benefits from connections and cooperation between individuals, which seems to be the opposite of having narcissistic traits,” Alderete says. “But I believe that if we can acknowledge and champion our strengths and skills as individuals (which requires a healthy dose of narcissism), we are giving ourselves the opportunity to grow and thrive.” ”
In other words, humans need narcissism in moderation, just as we need most basic personality traits.
“We need both,” Alderete said. “The ability to care for oneself and the ability to take into account the needs and perspectives of others and care for the community as a whole. Both are valuable traits that should be kept in balance.”
In contrast, people today who talk about “narcissism” are typically describing people who act in an intentionally cruel and self-centered way, completely distinct from more benign narcissistic behavior.
“Most of what people describe as ‘narcissism’ is one of the following: [narcissistic personality disorder] “Narcissism is a stand-in for every quality that people dislike and for every possible dangerous behavior. I saw an article that said Hitler was a narcissist. I would venture to say that it was the least of his problems. “It was,” he added.
In addition to being clinically inaccurate, using words like “narcissist” to refer to someone who has not been clinically diagnosed is extremely harmful.Please listen to me for a moment Dr. Jessica January Beara licensed psychologist in New York City.
“While it is true that stigma is related to mental health, Axis II personality disorder It seems to have decreased dramatically – and as a society, we’re getting more comfortable talking about it and bringing it to light. [but] “Maybe the tide has turned too far in the other direction,” Behr said. Not all inconveniences are trauma, not all difficult people are narcissists, and not all inconveniences are ADHD. ”
Dr. David Rees“If I’m being attacked, whether my attacker is narcissistic, psychopathic, antisocial, or has some kind of disorder,” he says, a psychiatrist and expert in mental health assessment. I don’t care at all whether you are acting or not; the important issue is protecting yourself.” It is based on the specific nature of the toxic/abusive/aggressive behavior rather than the psychodynamic, psychological, or even neurological factors that contribute to “why” the person engages in dangerous/abusive behavior. Masu. ”
But even though we shouldn’t tolerate harmful or abusive behavior from narcissists, that doesn’t mean we should preclude the possibility of benefiting from their more positive traits. You can still be a narcissist and have beneficial traits like compassion. And being a narcissist doesn’t mean you can’t care about others. Dr. Durvasula emphasized this point.
“As a clinician, you have to spend a lot of time with your patients before you can properly differentiate between narcissism, sociopathy, and psychopathy,” Durvasula says. “Also keep in mind that there is a lot of overlap between these terms, so that can also confuse the issue. But again, these terms have quite a bit of nuance. I think people can use these because they are cool and descriptive, but I don’t think everyone is using them correctly. . ”
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