When 38-year-old Stefan Tankoff started acting strange in the fall of 2022, doctors thought depression and type 2 diabetes were to blame.
His wife, Shire, now 42 years old, began to notice changes in his personality. He became emotionally withdrawn and “childlike,” requiring his wife’s help with simple tasks such as riding the bus.
Within six months, he was doing things that were completely out of character, such as stealing bottles of wine from local stores.
Only then was he referred to a specialist who performed a neurological examination that revealed the dire diagnosis of early-onset dementia.
After Stefan and Shire Tankov’s wedding in April 2021, they were in their own bubble, but within two years everything started to collapse.
In September 2022, Schille, now 42, began to notice changes in Stefan’s personality. Stefan became less emotional and “like a child” and had trouble getting on the bus by himself.
Shire, a middle school teacher, first noticed a change in Stefan’s personality when Stefan stopped asking her how her day was and instead asked her what she had for dinner.
When he ate dinner, he was unusually stiff and went straight to sleep afterwards.
She recalled his confusion when she asked him to take a bus to visit her in the hospital.
Struggling to hold down a job, he became unusually withdrawn and repeatedly forgot to do simple tasks his wife asked him to do.
She thought her husband was suffering from depression and made an appointment with his general practitioner for a test.
After tests, doctors determined that he had type 2 diabetes and concluded that his symptoms were a combination of the disease and mental health difficulties.
“We thought he might be causing a disturbance, but his condition didn’t improve,” Schille said.
“In the middle of one doctor’s appointment, he got up and left. I had to bribe him at McDonald’s to come back. It was like dealing with a child.”
It wasn’t until April 2023, when Stefan began stealing wine from local shops, that he took her to hospital, where tests revealed she had “very low” cognitive function.
Struggling to hold down a job, Stefan begins working casually, but becomes a recluse and repeatedly forgets to do the simple tasks Shire asks him to do.
Stefan’s family decided to take him to hospital, where tests revealed that his cognitive function was “very low.” The doctor ordered an MRI and CT scan along with a full psychological report
Six months later, in April 2023, Schille noticed that the staff at his local store were “a little flustered.” Her husband approached her and told her he was banned from the business.
The store owner catches Stefan trying to steal wine bottles multiple times.
Stefan’s family decided to take him to hospital, where tests revealed that his cognitive function was “very low.” The doctor ordered an MRI and CT scan along with a full psychological report.
After visiting the hospital, Shire cared for him at home for the next four weeks.
she said: “One morning I found him trying to put his hand on the bright red stove to see if it was warm. He was wandering around, walking in front of cars, staring at people. We stopped going out. He started vaping and became incontinent.
“I don’t know how I coped. I was lucky to be able to take time off from work, but if I don’t go back, I’m out of money,” she added.
After taking her husband to the hospital, undergoing CT and MRI scans, and undergoing a lumbar puncture, Shire received the devastating diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia. Frontotemporal dementia is a rare type of disease that causes behavioral and language problems.
“It was a complete shock…We wanted to start a family,” Shire said.
Dementia is the UK’s biggest cause of death, affecting around 1 million people in the country.
The charity estimates there are more than 70,000 people with early-onset dementia, whose symptoms start before the age of 65.
Dementia is the UK’s leading cause of death, affecting around one million people in the country.
It is estimated that more than 70,000 people have early-onset dementia, where symptoms begin before the age of 65.
Especially in the early stages, it can cause a variety of symptoms.
Young-onset dementia is likely to be hereditary, and in most cases, young people with dementia do not have serious or long-term health conditions.
Unable to return home, Stephen stayed in a care home until he could return to hospital, where he remained for 11 months, but Shire was only able to book one-hour visiting slots.
Ms Shire found it “difficult” never to be able to see his room and to have to deal with constant phone calls from social workers, consultants, psychologists and nurses.
Stefan finally moved into a “fabulous” new care home in July, but things remain difficult for Shire.
“I wouldn’t buy a stuffed animal for a newborn because my 40-year-old husband is starting to chew on the teddy bear he needs to sleep on and I’m worried he’ll suffocate,” she says.
She claims her doctor told her in May that if she was here within six months to a year, she would be well.
Ms Shire admitted the ordeal had led to isolation, although she was visiting her husband while others visited their parents and grandparents in care homes.
But she has received eight weeks of counseling from family, friends, colleagues and neighbours, as well as the Alzheimer’s Society, Nurse Admiral and Rare Dementia Support.
“He’s happy at home. I love being with him, even if it’s just getting into bed next to him and cuddling him. He sings along to songs my brother wrote. There are little signs that it’s all worth it, like him holding my hand or holding my hand. If I say I love him, he’ll say, ‘I love you so much,'” she says. said.
“Looking back, those happy moments are the memories I want to keep.”
The Alzheimer’s Society is asking people to share their stories. alzheimers.org.uk/story
