Wednesday, May 3, 2023
Annie Lane, Advice Columnist, PHOTO: Creators
Dear Annie: I am writing about an issue that seems to be affecting many couples right now. The problem is pornography.
My husband and I have been happily married for 25 years, raising three children. They all turned out to be fine and responsible adults. We bought a house together, went on vacations, and had a pretty good life over the years.
Two years ago, however, things seemed to change. Suddenly I found myself craving his attention and compliments. I know he’s not as young as when I met him, but he’s in relatively good shape and spends his time taking care of himself. My problem is that I believe he is addicted to porn.
Before Christmas he decided he needed a 75 inch flat screen TV. I don’t know why, but they installed it while I was at work. I’ve also noticed that he gets very anxious when I’m home on my days off and I can’t have the TV or the living room all to myself. I recently checked Cable’s bills (which he pays) and found that he pays hundreds of dollars a month for porn on his channel.
I think he’s obsessed with addiction and has become unsatisfied with how women look if they don’t look like the girls he sees on screen. I told him about this and he quickly cut it off by saying, “Everybody’s watching porn, what’s going on?”
For me, it’s a huge problem and a huge addiction. Any advice? — Transferred to a TV station in New York
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Dear Television Left: you are not alone. There are many spouses in similar situations. It may seem like we are being left behind by TV and porn, but what is really being left out is the sick in the midst of addiction.
Many support groups are offered online and in person. Encourage her husband to seek help. If he’s in complete denial, it’s time to seek the help of a professional counselor–you can decide what to do for you.
Annie Lane is a mother, daughter, sister and wife.
She grew up in California and made her way east at 18. She graduated with honors from New York University, where she majored in English Literature and also majored in Psychology. After graduating from NYU, she received her Juris Doctor degree at the New York She Law School.
During her education, Annie’s love for books led her to work at a variety of jobs, including with Barnes & Noble. In addition, she worked for a law firm for two years, and before that she worked for a federal magistrate for one year.
Yet no job came more naturally to her than providing common sense solutions to everyday problems. Her advice is unusually sharp. She’s sympathetic, funny, and solid. Her column is very similar in style and content to Anne Her Landers’ column.
Annie lives in suburban Manhattan with her husband, two children, and two dogs. After her ten years of city life, she focuses on her family and her dear Annie column. When she’s not writing, she spends her time dating and doing her Play-Doh.
“How can I forgive my cheating partner?” Featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation, Annie Lane’s second anthology is available as paperback and e-book.visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Any questions for Annie Lane? [email protected].
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