Dear Abby: I got engaged to an amazing man 5 months ago. We have set a date for our wedding next year. I am ecstatic – excited to be planning such an important milestone in my life, I am the youngest of her 5 girls. The four of us get along very well.
Three sisters were kind enough to help us plan and prepare for our wedding. I included them in my bridal party.
There is one big problem. My parents and her two sisters insist on including their eldest daughter “Iris” in her bridal party despite having a mental illness (schizophrenia). She’s on medication, but she still speaks to her “voice.” I love her, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to include her in my wedding.
My Honorable Lady is supportive and agrees that it is unwise. makes me feel guilty. She now lives with my retired parents and needs care and supervision.Is it wrong for me not to risk her including her on my big day? – Kentucky’s Future Bride
Dear Future Bride: A wedding is a family event and can sometimes strain relationships. As with all conflicts, communication and compromise are key. Discuss your concerns with your parents, sisters, and fiancée, and consider their opinions and advice. Ensure their help in alleviating your concerns and increasing your comfort level.
More importantly, politely discuss your feelings and concerns with Iris. Instead of joining her bridal party, she may be content to be a part of her celebration, yet still be content with an unremarkable role. You may not realize how hurt she would be if she were left out of this family milestone.
Thankfully, you are healthy and stepping into a bright future. It would be great if Iris could share this joy. only if her parents or her siblings are willing to ensure that they remove her quietly and immediately if her presence distracts or confuses her. please include
Dear Abbie: While having dinner with a group of friends, the topic of giving Christmas gifts to our aged grandchildren, nieces, nephews and grandchildren came up. Some say they stop giving at 18. Others have said they stop doing it when the recipient starts a family of their own. Is there an age to stop or is it up to the individual? — Generous in Illinois
DEAR GENEROUS: There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. It depends on the individual, the number of relatives, and whether the gift-giving is creating financial pressure.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.contact dear abby www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
