Approximately one in ten fathers suffers from postnatal depression. Several the study It’s a hot topic.
While mothers are warned about the possibility of postpartum depression and may be tested for it, fathers and non-birth parents often are not, making it harder for them to receive a diagnosis and more difficult for them to survive the experience.
“It can be really isolating for men and partners who aren’t involved in childbirth,” she said. Erin O’Connor“It’s not something that’s being discussed very widely,” says the director of New York University’s early childhood education program.
O’Connor is currently analysing data and interviews with 1,000 parents to better understand their experiences from pregnancy through their newborn’s first year.
She spoke to WNYC’s Alison Stewart about her father’s depression on a recent episode of “All of It.” Their conversation It is less than.
Alison Stewart: What inspired you to study postpartum depression in fathers?
Dr. Erin O’Connor: The real catalyst for me was researching non-birth parents originally. I became a mother through adoption and biological birth, and I struggled with what are now called PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders) with the birth of both my daughters.
That got me thinking, maybe we don’t have enough trust in anyone, especially people who don’t have children. That got me looking more into the literature on non-birthing parents and fathers and I realized how little there is on the subject. But we also know that there are biological and psychological consequences for fathers and non-birthing parents, just like there are for people who do have children.
Many people may not even know that fathers can suffer from postpartum or perinatal depression. Why is that?
O’Connor: There are a couple of reasons why. One is that there are actual biological reasons. There are neurobiological changes in the brain that occur in mothers as well as fathers. There are changes in hormone levels that occur in mothers as well as fathers. There are also major identity changes that occur in both mothers and fathers.
I want to be clear that I use the term perinatal and not postpartum, what is the difference?
O’Connor: The “perinatal” period includes the period from pregnancy to one year, as opposed to “postpartum,” which refers to the year after the baby is born. However, some even argue that the perinatal period should include the second year, rather than just pregnancy and the first year.
More and more people are being diagnosed with PMADs in the second year after giving birth, and currently the first year after birth is considered pregnancy.
While there’s understandably a lot of attention on new mothers, it’s been said that 18% of dads develop some sort of anxiety disorder. What is it like?
O’Connor: It might seem like fear. I think that’s a great example. In our research study, participants agreed to tell their stories. One woman told us a story about how she was scared to let her husband shower when he had to travel for work. She was scared to put her baby in his crib or to go out because she was sure something bad was going to happen if she wasn’t with her baby. Things like that, and another story about a woman who had a crib next to her bed who woke up in the middle of the night screaming and feeling like she’d rolled her baby over and killed him, even though he wasn’t in the bed with her. I don’t want to call this irrational, but it’s just an extreme sense of anxiety about keeping her child safe and really alive.
How does isolation affect fathers?
O’Connor: Well, I think both parents feel isolated. To some extent, you don’t have the same freedom you had before. You can’t even leave the house. You have to constantly take a lot of different factors into account. I often feel isolated from my previous life, but when I look into it, there are support groups. I think they need to do better, but there are support groups for mothers. If you Google it, there are quite a few that come up. Nothing for fathers.
In fact, in a newsletter I wrote, and I’m a huge fan of Emily Oster, there was a post from a father called Kevin Maguire who lived in the UK and searched the National Health Service directory for information about postnatal depression in fathers, and what came up was, “Oh, postnatal depression in mothers.”
I think men and non-birth partners in general feel isolated because there aren’t a lot of groups out there and there’s no awareness of it. They feel like, “Oh, there must be something wrong with me,” but they don’t know where to go for help because it’s not widely discussed.
your Psychology Today article I mentioned two elements that play a role: attachment theory and cognitive behavior. First, how does attachment theory relate?
O’Connor: Typically, when we talk about parenting and attachment theory, we think about something called an “internal working model” – our idea of what a parent-child relationship is like based on how we were raised.
If you had what is called a secure attachment relationship with your primary caregiver during childhood, you are more likely to develop a similar attachment relationship with your own children.
And what’s interesting, especially when we think about fathers, is that although it may not have been explored as much in this work, there’s always been a lot of emphasis and a lot of research on the attachment relationship between mother and child. There are a lot of books written about it and how to nurture it.
I think we, as a society, have somewhat neglected the attachment relationship between fathers and their children, and we’ve focused on role models and how to be a father and how to be a father who is involved and still maintains a safe relationship with his children.
And I think that’s something that we’ve really started to look at, especially in the developmental psychology literature, is the role that fathers play and being able to provide more information about that, and what it means for a father to have a secure relationship with his child.
Where does cognitive behavior come into play?
O’Connor: I think a lot of it is almost a fancy word for self-image and how it gets in the way. I think we’ve been given a lot of messages that the father’s role is secondary. We’ve done a lot of that as a society, like, mom does it best, mom knows best, mom knows what to do.
You have these messages playing in your head, and if you’re not a mother, especially if you’re a biological mother, those messages can trip you up, like, “Oh, wait a minute. I don’t know how to do this?” Of course, you know, but that’s not necessarily the message that’s out there. Part of cognitive behavioral therapy is figuring out how to change that message for yourself.
For those experiencing PMADs and postpartum depression, how does it affect their relationship with their child?
O’Connor: That’s a good question, and going back to attachment theory, we always say that the two most important components of the parent-child relationship in the first three to six months are how sensitive and responsive you are — are you able to understand your baby’s cues, his cries of hunger, his cries of tiredness, and respond in that way?
You see, when you have mental health issues yourself, it makes it harder to pick up on other people’s needs and the signals that they’re giving you. It’s very hard to know what your newborn needs are, and it’s very hard to do that when you’re not in tune with your own emotions. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but it’s much harder to be a sensitive, responsive parent, which we know is so important for the parent-child attachment relationship.
There are two different messages, one that says “Thanks for the discussion about gender equality” and another on Twitter that says “This is a real insult to those of us who have incomparable physical experiences. We can support and raise awareness of fathers and non-birthing parents without fighting a competitive battle over postpartum depression.” I’m curious to know what you think about these two responses.
O’Connor: I think that’s a valid point. It’s the idea that we’re all in the same boat. It’s not that one is more important than the other. It’s about acknowledging that perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are more prevalent in birth mothers. It’s a very traumatic experience, but we also know that it’s more prevalent in fathers and non-birth parents. I think working together to raise awareness across the board is the way for us to move forward and ensure that parents get the support they need for their mental health.
What do you wish more people knew about this issue?
O’Connor: I think (a) they knew how prevalent it was, and (b) they were more aware of the symptoms. We talk a lot about postpartum depression, and of course it’s very important to talk about that, but there’s also postpartum anxiety, OCD, suicidal thoughts. There are a lot of other mental health issues that go along with postpartum depression, and I think it’s important for people to know about them so that they can try and find or be able to find the support they need. Something that came up a lot in the interviews that we did was that a lot of women reported high levels of anxiety, but they weren’t necessarily depressed, they were just very anxious, and they didn’t realize that it was postpartum depression. It was just anxiety, it wasn’t a symptom of depression.
If someone is listening to this and thinking, “This could be me,” what should they do? Where should they go?
O’Connor: Ideally your obstetrician should be able to give you this information, as should your pediatrician, who can be a great source of support for both parents and children. There is a lot of great information online. Postnatal Support International.
