W.At age 10, I started experiencing severe social anxiety. I had a hard time getting along with other people and often got into fights with girls my age. Most of the time, someone would verbally abuse me and I would be very devastated. Despite having social anxiety, I was still a smart kid and needed an explanation for anything beyond my initial understanding and normal reasoning. I was perceived as a rebel because my parents constantly asked questions after I was told what I needed to do and how I should behave. My 10-year-old mind did not understand authority and hierarchies, but this upsets many adults, even small children, who wanted their authority to be respected and recognized. let me
My guardians have been made aware of these “symptoms” or personality traits I was exhibiting and have been able to treat my insecurities and my anger and argumentative “outbursts” resulting from abuses of power that are generally seen as unjustified. decided to seek “expert” advice on how to mitigate , or expectations are too high. I was perceived as a problem that needed to be resolved to be compliant, leading to a very long period of 10 years, 10 different diagnoses, and several different medications at once.
“Expert” advice advised me to start taking a drug called Paxil (also known as generic paroxetine). It was 1997, long before this drug was approved by the FDA in 1999, and I was being tested to see if the drug would alleviate the problematic symptoms I was experiencing. It was only As you can see, that was not the case.
Shortly after taking Paxil, I started making plans to commit suicide. It’s important to note that I had no suicidal thoughts at all before taking Paxil. I had my insecurities, but I was also exuberant, curious, and had straight A’s. I didn’t want to die.
I have never had suicidal thoughts or behaviors and attempted suicide when I was 10 years old. I almost died. I was taken by helicopter to the hospital, where my stomach was pumped, but at one point I regained consciousness, not fully realizing what I had done. From that moment on, my life changed dramatically as I became a cog in psychiatry. By the time I was discharged from the hospital, I had 10 different diagnoses and was on several medications. And the shaming and behavioral changes I experienced in one of the institutions I was in, and the abuse I experienced there, only further traumatized me.
As an adult, I had the opportunity to find myself, free from the mental health industry and foster family. As an adopted child, it’s important to note that my journey to find myself began with finding my roots. I found my biological family in 2008 and met in 2019. Many things became clearer as I began to understand the genetic component of my behavior.
In 2011, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She noticed that she was acting a lot like me, and at some point she became worried that she too would experience the world the same way I did. She has a keen eye for injustice, has a very violent meltdown due to her sensory overload, and has a keen and special interest that no one will find strange. I asked the doctors if they felt the same way I did. When she was 2 I suggested she was autistic but she was quickly turned down. “No way. She’s either hit all the milestones or she’s crossed them,” the doctor said. Under the assumption that they definitely know better than I do, I spent years struggling with my daughters’ behavior, learning how to get along and coexist, while learning that there is a genetic correlation. I went on my way though.
I started attending college in 2017. Even though I was a stay-at-home mom with her two children, there was always a quest within me to make more sense of the world, to make more sense of my own experiences. Graduated in 2021 with a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology. This has allowed me to have different authors and educations, understand research, and have my thoughts and ideas taken seriously. That was one of the problems I had before. I tried to find a way to tell my experience, but I was so uneducated and unaccomplished that no one took my theory seriously.
All my life I struggled with the idea that I was just voluntarily trying to kill myself. When I told my family who were there about this, the ineffectiveness was seared into my mind. I know me I know what I want, and I know what my 10 year old wanted.I found out later research paper The experience of others who have used Paxil (or paroxetine) is that I am not the only one who has tried (or has actually done so) to end his own life after using Paxil.in fact it is now Not recommended for children under 18 This is because it increases the risk of suicidal thoughts.
After reading about these experiences and understanding the research, my childhood story changed. I tried to commit suicide after starting a drug called Paxil. So I was sent to psychiatric treatment and residential treatment centers for years. Because I have a history of mental health issues and deviating from common sense would mean taking a step into an institution. It was a domino effect. Another important thing is that when I turned 18, I never set foot in another institution again. I have stopped all prescribed prescription drugs. I told my new doctor in my new condition only that I had anxiety and depression. I didn’t say anything else. Then I started a new quest. Exploring family medical history.
Despite going off all medications and avoiding almost every diagnosis I was given, I still felt something was wrong with me. I was not good at conversations and small talk, avoiding people and often getting absorbed in topics of particular interest. The hardest part was the difficulty in controlling my emotions. What I thought was a tantrum when I was a kid turned out to be something completely different to me as an adult.
It was only through conversations with half-brothers, half-sisters, and other siblings that I learned that autism was genetically inherited in our family. When I checked for telltale signs of Level 1 Autism, I found that my daughter and I both experienced these symptoms and autistic meltdowns. We were both diagnosed this year. I can only speak for my own experience, but I feel that I am a complete and authentic self and it makes me a better and more understanding mother, wife and future social worker. I feel that it helps
This discovery not only frees me from the chain of misdiagnoses, but it is a key discovery that frees my father, who was born in 1941. I can’t prove it, but I fully believe he was autistic and was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic.after reading Neuro Tribes: Autism Legacy and the Future of Neurodiversity In Steve Silverman (2015), I am more convinced because of my history of diagnosing people with autism as schizophrenia. This also reflected my experience of liberation from the shame that comes with mental health checks. Why are all non-neurotypical people ashamed of being different? If there is anything we can do to help people and their mental health, it is to get rid of negative language and the perceptions that come with it. is. Hollywood, please stop perpetuating it.
This has allowed me to go off medication, get a proper diagnosis, and have a decent period in my life where I can see myself and my daughter from a strengths-based approach rather than a flaws-based one. Things to consider the next time DSM-5 edits.
I also understand why my experience was and still is. As you begin and end MSW, keep in mind what you have learned about misdiagnosis, the causes and effects of prescription medications, and autism, and get the information you need when working with other struggling children and families. to be able to understanding, education and background to help them. I remain critical of psychiatry, power dynamics, the normalization of medication, and the pathogenesis of nearly every human behavior. It is more important than ever to question the status quo and the organizations that profit from it.
