“I am, and always have been, living in a so-called “dirty” house.It’s really, really dirty and disgusting, but it’s also a hoarder’s house.” 16 years old Hayden Violet He admitted this in an honest and vulnerable post on TikTok.
She said that during her childhood in her family home, she was troubled not only by the power dynamics of the people living there, but also by the physical space they occupied. She explained that her parents’ hoarding and her cleaning tendencies affected everything from her and her siblings’ relationships and her future plans to her self-esteem and confidence.
The child of “hoarder parents” admitted that her “filthy” home had a deep impact on her and her siblings.
“When you live in a house like this, parents think it’s only affecting them, but it’s actually affecting their children,” she says.
While Violet’s father seems unconcerned by the situation at home, Violet’s mother does not. “Her mother feels humiliated in our home,” she said. “She apologizes over and over again when people come over.”
Although only 6% of Americans “Hoarding disorder” While this impacts their living space, it’s not uncommon for people to deal with other barriers to keeping their home clean, such as time, stress, money, or simply a lack of cleaning skills.
Despite the current state of the house, Violet admitted that her family often spends a week cleaning, but only when people are expected to come over.
“I remember doing a deep clean for about a week beforehand and diligently cleaning every room in the house because I had to at least be able to do something before people came,” she said. Told. “And what we could manage wasn’t even pretty.”
This process gave her and her siblings a certain amount of stress and urgency to their cleaning routine. We were cleaning for hours all day. ”
Not only do the brothers develop an unhealthy view of cleanliness, but they also suffer from insecurity in their relationships as a result.
“There are two types of kids that come out of hoarding homes. That’s me and my brother,” she said, explaining, “We obsessively clean our rooms and keep them clean.” [her] The space is so organized that even if other people move things around, [she gets] I’m under extreme stress. ”
The lack of control her parents fostered affected her view of personal space and belongings, fostering a sense of insecurity and insecurity in the places where she was supposed to feel most comfortable.
“As my mother taught me, I’m very anxious about clutter,” she said. [with my parents]. Outside my room is a danger zone. ”
However, her brothers have a completely different view. Violet said they have no idea how to clean and are worried they will repeat their parents’ habits in their future home.
Violet’s home situation also causes her to worry about how people see her, making it difficult for her to maintain healthy relationships with others.
“Having someone come to my house for the first time is honestly the most embarrassing scenario I’ve ever experienced,” she said. “I know my house is a mess, but for some reason I’m trying to hide it.”
“The majority of my friends have never seen my house and never will. I just don’t trust them that way yet and honestly, their opinion of me… “I don’t want it to change,” she added.
After receiving criticism for her comments, Violet reminded viewers that it’s not the child’s responsibility to make up for their parents’ shortcomings.
After sharing her story and reflecting on how her parents influenced her and her siblings, she was unfortunately shocked to see the comments that started pouring in under the post. Not only were some of them completely ignorant, having never experienced anything similar, but some of them blamed her for her situation.
“Why don’t you clean your house yourself?” one commenter wrote. “Parents have to work…stress can be debilitating. It’s a space for you to live in.”
Victim-blaming 16-year-old boys and their younger siblings because of their home living conditions and environment is not only irresponsible, it is also completely inappropriate.
“It’s not my responsibility to teach a young child to clean himself,” she answered confidently in the updated video. “If I had parents who didn’t know how to clean, I wouldn’t grow up knowing how to clean.”
“Who has the time to put in the energy when there’s no one around to help?” she continued. “This video was made for kids who never had friends, kids who still can’t have a girlfriend because they have insecurities that remain.”
Violet’s situation is a reminder that our parents truly do wield incredible power over our lives. Even the mundane daily schedules that children engage in can have a lasting impact on how they develop into adults.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news & entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on health and wellness, social policy, and human relations articles.
