She said she welcomed new patients, but—did I know anyone who was a customer of hers? Because if I didn’t, if I called her out of the blue, she’d be like, “That’s a little weird.”
I ended up having several sessions with her. It’s a long story, but it wasn’t good. Eventually, I felt so much worse that it became impossible to find anyone else to talk to.
Was it a strange way to find a therapist? Should I handle this differently? The only person I know in my hometown who is receiving treatment is my 24 year old son. Their therapist was really great and helped my spouse and I find our kids when they were teenagers. However, I’m hesitant to meet her because I’m worried about her boundaries. Plus, she doesn’t think she’s in our plans anymore and money is definitely an issue.
Women in their 50s: 1. The weirdest thing about my first therapist was her unnecessary comments. It’s not okay at all.
2. It’s okay to exclude the therapist who said something that made you uncomfortable in that way. Live and learn. Either talk about it first (“It was hard for me to make this call, and saying I did something ‘weird’ doesn’t help”) or just decline the appointment and start the search again. That’s it. Fit is really important.
3. It helps to get a therapist recommendation from someone you trust, like a friend, doctor, school counselor, or clergyman, but no, it’s not “weird” to use your insurance to find a therapist. The basic thing to expect from a provider is a supportive welcome to their practice. I agree. And it’s hard to find a partner!
4. I don’t think your child’s wonderful therapist will even agree to treat you because of the potential conflict of interest. But you can ask her for the names of other therapists she respects. Then check to see if it’s included in your plans. That’s it!
However, even if one of your recommended therapists says something that makes you uncomfortable, say “no thanks.” Whether it’s a therapist, a friend, a career, a neighborhood, a partner, a pair of pants, finding the right fit is rarely an easy process, and it’s almost never worth the effort.
· I’m a therapist and receive at least a dozen such calls and emails every week. They are not strange or unusual. People use insurance company listings and web searches (especially Psychology Today Website) Or notice the little sign outside my office door with my name on it.
In fact, the ranks of therapists include a certain percentage of less capable people, just like auto mechanics, financial advisors, lawyers, and so on. [insert your favorite example here]. If you want to talk to someone, keep talking until you find someone you feel comfortable talking to.
-The therapist who called cold calling weird is…weird.
