Will calling now do more harm than good? I haven’t had the luxury of talking to anyone other than my doctor and my immediate family, but I’m getting there and this friend is at the top of my list. But now I’m having second thoughts.
— I think I know the answer
I think you know the answer: There is no good answer other than time travel.
Instead of criticizing or feeling guilty about your choices in the moment, simply state the facts and pave the way for accepting imperfect choices.
Something bad happened to you and then something worse happened to her. All you can do now is do your best.
That includes acting quickly. Send her a card saying you are thinking of her. If you can share a warm anecdote or memory about your child, please do so. If you have a photo of your child from your time together, please email the same message. It says, “I often think about her.” Suppose you find these pictures and want to write about them.
Many well-meaning messages do not go well with grieving people. While “it’s okay” type messages head the unwelcome messages, messages that show they haven’t forgotten them or their loved ones are almost equally universally welcome. . That’s the remedy if for some reason you run out of time.
It is not uncommon for impending crises to effectively disable our support functions. I am sorry to hear that you have health problems yourself. If you allow yourself to do that, I think it will open the way for friends. If she questions your disappearance, be sure to briefly state why. “I was very ill, but now I’m here.” She said take care.
· You have the card, but why are you hesitant to call? Perhaps the card will be issued first and then the call will come. I have a friend who will send flowers later. Because then one begins to feel that both himself and his loss have been forgotten.
· OMG. please rest at ease. You were sick; you had nothing more to give. you gave what you had It’s okay to say, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get back to you.” I remember you a lot, but I was having a hard time myself. ” And be human.
· Donating in your child’s name to a charity that is important to them will probably go a long way toward healing the rifts that have arisen.
· I lost my adult child a few months ago. The first few months are completely bleak. I am so grateful to have someone who is always ready to help me. I don’t quite remember who contacted me first, but I promise. The devastation was far greater than worrying about who was contacting me at the time. Contact us now.
