Bereaved men opening up at ‘Grieving Pint’ sessions

In February 2022, 18-year-old Ben Mason suddenly lost his mother to a brain aneurysm. At the time, he struggled to find a place where he felt comfortable talking about his feelings. After unsuccessful counseling, the college student decided to turn his grief into something positive and founded Community Interest Company, a place where men like him could speak freely.

“I always thought it was a good idea and I always thought it was an idea that wasn’t being implemented, but I never thought it would take off like it has,” Ben said.

The now 20-year-old said he was “quite hesitant to talk about it at first” about his grief because people around him didn’t talk much about mental health.

“When I returned to university I realised there was a lot of pressure to talk about my mental health.

“I gave in to the peer pressure to talk to someone, but I felt so powerless.”

Ben, from Richmond, Surrey, felt that traditional therapy had “a lot of obstacles”, including long waiting lists and inconsistent counsellors.

Ben’s obvious pain affected those around him.

“When you’re going through what Ben went through, you find it hard to ask him how he’s feeling,” Manny Langton, Ben’s childhood friend, said.

“It was really hard for him to openly talk about something that was such a traumatic part of his life.

“I always felt like I should try harder, but I didn’t want to overdo it.”

Nine months after the death of his mother, Ben began exploring the idea of ​​creating a space to foster positive conversations about mental health for men and founded The Grieving Pint with a friend.

The initiative, which will launch in March 2023, offers male students at the University of Bristol the opportunity to discuss their mental health concerns over a beer in a relaxed environment.

With the tagline “Speak up today, save tomorrow”, the community interest group aims to help young men change the way they view themselves, their mental health and those around them.

It was designed to give men the confidence and space to open up, start a conversation and end the “silent battle” that many face.

The sessions began in a pub in Bristol and then spread to Bath, Exeter and Swansea.

Drinking alcohol during the sessions is optional, and organizers say they encourage responsible drinking.

Manny, who is studying at the University of Bath, joined the team in September.

“If we can target men in a situation where they don’t feel the pressure to feel OK and they don’t have to be on guard, that’s really where we want to focus.

“Places where men feel they can open up and talk over a beer with their friends is where we’ve had great success,” he said.

“Life is hard. There’s stress, but then there’s the added stress of looking and feeling okay but actually not being okay. And that’s what we’re trying to change.”

Ben said: “It feels really good to be able to do something positive and help people around me, especially people who look like me.”

“It had a much bigger impact than I thought it would.

“It’s hard to measure success sometimes, and you forget that what you set up is working.

“Sometimes you just don’t realize it when you should.”

“It’s been extremely successful and I’m really pleased with how quickly we’ve been able to achieve it,” Ben said.

Manny will continue to run The Grieving Pint as he prepares to start the next chapter of his life in Australia.

“The hardest thing men face is admitting they need help,” Manny said.

He added that the stigma surrounding men’s mental health is the “biggest barrier”.

“That’s the main focus of what we’re trying to change.

“Our job is to give men the confidence to talk openly about their mental health and provide the space and tools to do so in a way that breaks down those stigmas.”

“Prejudice exists everywhere. It’s not just within friend groups or the workplace, it exists throughout society, and our goal is to break it down step by step.”

Ben added: “I don’t think mental health is talked about as much as it should be.”

“I think when men talk about it they are quite reserved in order to reassure themselves about what they’re saying in the conversation.

“They try to downplay it. A lot of guys hide what they’re going through and what they’re feeling.”

“Men are less likely to seek help for their mental health,” the charity said.

In the future, Ben hopes to target a wider audience and explore further ways to “get men’s mental health in the hands of those who need it.”

“If we can help in any way, we will,” he said.